(no subject)
Hey hey. I'm at the IACenter and being a horrible person by going on my LJ.
Possible new kid in school kicks ass. likes jazz. love him for that. likes classic rock. love him for that too.
Day was mixed. no, it was just dull. nothings really happened yet. im bout to go with mia to union to pick up some shit (no not drugs)
I got in such a bad fight last night with my mom. Ugh. She's the only person who knows how to make me want to die, and she does it well. Hearing her yell for hours (yes, literrally hours) about stupid I am over and over again...it gets to me.
I'm so grateful for my teachers. It's amazing to have adults (or anyone for that matter) whom I can talk to. They boost my confidence back up to zero (as opposed to the negative numbers my mother left it at)
Ohh but on a phenomenally happy note- I'M LEARING THE SAXOPHONE!!!!
Gosh golly gee, you have no idea how fucking thrilled I am. I've wanted to learn how to play for freakin' ages.
Other then the overwhelming goodness
I can't get this shit off my mind. Just everything that everyone is going throught. The war, the pain, the hate. So much. I want to make myself talk about it more, because it's on my mind always and I need to get some of it out. I want to help people. I NEED to help them. I can't just sit back and let so many suffer. Starve, get raped, get murdered...neglected. This world, this beautiful world, has so much potential. Today in my Dystopia (I love Luke!!) class we were discussing human nature and our capabilities of actually carrying through the necessay things for creating a Utopia (i.e. humanity- empathy, selflessness, kindess, etc.) It made me so sad, so few people believed that it is possible for human beings to be like that. It's not true. I'm so sure of it. It's scary because I used to think like that. I used to have no faith in humanity, but then I felt kindness developing in me and now I know that it's entirley possible. Look down into your heart, do you feel that good? That need to help people and comfort them? That, there. Live with it. It feels so much better then anger. And after a while of having it with you always, you'll realize that there's no point in hatred. Why bother subjecting yourself to such pain? Yes, get angry. Experience it. It's a part of life. But don't hate. For you, for everyone. It does nothing but destruct. And, I really don't mean this offensivley, please don't take it like I do, but I don't know how else to word it- If believe that it's impossible for people to stop hating, then you're the reason for it being impossible. Don't resent me for what I'm saying, don't get upset. I know that 2 years ago I would write this off as bullshit and get mad at whoever wrote it. I don't mean it as a threat, I don't mean it as an accusation. I mean it as a way of asking you to "give peace a chance."
This is the screensaver for the computer I'm sitting in front of "We are the ones we've been waiting for."
I was blown away by that quote when I first read it. It's so true. We can't sit back and wait for someone else to make things change. You might as well be that someone else. Start the change yourself. Make it happen.
"STOP BITCHING, START A REVOLUTION"
What else?
May I say something that might come off as incredibly egotistical? I don't mean it in that way at all.
Have you ever read Plato's Allegory of the Cave? (If you haven't, read it! It's amazing) You know when the freed man comes back to the cave and tries to tell people that what the see is merley shadows and not reality and they all laugh at him or want to kill him? I feel like that man. I used to be one of the people in the cave, I used to know nothing other then the shadows people showed me. But then, I got out of the cave. And I saw that they were only shadows. I saw what was real. And now, when I try to explain to people that what they swear to truth is only the media's and societe's idea of truth, people get angry or just don't understand. Fuck me. that makes me sound like I think I'm Jesus or something. I didn't intend for it to come out like that. What I meant was so much of what we take as reality- standard codes of behavior being the only "right" way isn't neccessarily "right" though nor is it "wrong" You know what, there's too much to explain here. Ask me if you want to know and I'll be more then happy to explain.
And Fuck, I really am coming off as a pompous ass. Please, just trust me when I say that I really do not mean it in such a way.
Moving on.
It's hot.
I think I may sell out and just let Hyperian Books publish my poetry. I need the money. Even though I had promised myself that I would never publish any of my poetry...I have an offer and why not? I don't know.
Possible new kid in school kicks ass. likes jazz. love him for that. likes classic rock. love him for that too.
Day was mixed. no, it was just dull. nothings really happened yet. im bout to go with mia to union to pick up some shit (no not drugs)
I got in such a bad fight last night with my mom. Ugh. She's the only person who knows how to make me want to die, and she does it well. Hearing her yell for hours (yes, literrally hours) about stupid I am over and over again...it gets to me.
I'm so grateful for my teachers. It's amazing to have adults (or anyone for that matter) whom I can talk to. They boost my confidence back up to zero (as opposed to the negative numbers my mother left it at)
Ohh but on a phenomenally happy note- I'M LEARING THE SAXOPHONE!!!!
Gosh golly gee, you have no idea how fucking thrilled I am. I've wanted to learn how to play for freakin' ages.
Other then the overwhelming goodness
I can't get this shit off my mind. Just everything that everyone is going throught. The war, the pain, the hate. So much. I want to make myself talk about it more, because it's on my mind always and I need to get some of it out. I want to help people. I NEED to help them. I can't just sit back and let so many suffer. Starve, get raped, get murdered...neglected. This world, this beautiful world, has so much potential. Today in my Dystopia (I love Luke!!) class we were discussing human nature and our capabilities of actually carrying through the necessay things for creating a Utopia (i.e. humanity- empathy, selflessness, kindess, etc.) It made me so sad, so few people believed that it is possible for human beings to be like that. It's not true. I'm so sure of it. It's scary because I used to think like that. I used to have no faith in humanity, but then I felt kindness developing in me and now I know that it's entirley possible. Look down into your heart, do you feel that good? That need to help people and comfort them? That, there. Live with it. It feels so much better then anger. And after a while of having it with you always, you'll realize that there's no point in hatred. Why bother subjecting yourself to such pain? Yes, get angry. Experience it. It's a part of life. But don't hate. For you, for everyone. It does nothing but destruct. And, I really don't mean this offensivley, please don't take it like I do, but I don't know how else to word it- If believe that it's impossible for people to stop hating, then you're the reason for it being impossible. Don't resent me for what I'm saying, don't get upset. I know that 2 years ago I would write this off as bullshit and get mad at whoever wrote it. I don't mean it as a threat, I don't mean it as an accusation. I mean it as a way of asking you to "give peace a chance."
This is the screensaver for the computer I'm sitting in front of "We are the ones we've been waiting for."
I was blown away by that quote when I first read it. It's so true. We can't sit back and wait for someone else to make things change. You might as well be that someone else. Start the change yourself. Make it happen.
"STOP BITCHING, START A REVOLUTION"
What else?
May I say something that might come off as incredibly egotistical? I don't mean it in that way at all.
Have you ever read Plato's Allegory of the Cave? (If you haven't, read it! It's amazing) You know when the freed man comes back to the cave and tries to tell people that what the see is merley shadows and not reality and they all laugh at him or want to kill him? I feel like that man. I used to be one of the people in the cave, I used to know nothing other then the shadows people showed me. But then, I got out of the cave. And I saw that they were only shadows. I saw what was real. And now, when I try to explain to people that what they swear to truth is only the media's and societe's idea of truth, people get angry or just don't understand. Fuck me. that makes me sound like I think I'm Jesus or something. I didn't intend for it to come out like that. What I meant was so much of what we take as reality- standard codes of behavior being the only "right" way isn't neccessarily "right" though nor is it "wrong" You know what, there's too much to explain here. Ask me if you want to know and I'll be more then happy to explain.
And Fuck, I really am coming off as a pompous ass. Please, just trust me when I say that I really do not mean it in such a way.
Moving on.
It's hot.
I think I may sell out and just let Hyperian Books publish my poetry. I need the money. Even though I had promised myself that I would never publish any of my poetry...I have an offer and why not? I don't know.