Toxic relationships
Why is it, even though I -know- I shouldn't continue to have feelings for him, I do? I know bridges are burned. I know he is a liar. I know that he would tear me away from my family. Yet, I still have this love in my heart for him.
He made me question my sanity. After being in such a vulnerable state after separating from my husband of almost 13 years, I trusted him. And he showed such kindness. He showed that he cared for me. That's the part that tears me up! He would do the kindest sweetest things and then argue withnme to the point of yelling.
Brian and I -never- yelled. He never called me names. Yet this man called me a bitch and a cunt. A waste of space. Then he says they are only words and mean nothing. They don't mean nothing to me! They show me what he really thinks of me.
Then he says I over analyze things. "Why can't you just -be-?!" He says. I'm sorry. I have 3 kids to think of. I need to think of their feelings, their safety, and their care. It doesn't help that my memory isn't the best. It never was, but now it is worse. And he played on that! I would clearly remember an event and he would adamantly say it happened another way.
And yet I still have feelings for him. What is wrong with me?
He made me question my sanity. After being in such a vulnerable state after separating from my husband of almost 13 years, I trusted him. And he showed such kindness. He showed that he cared for me. That's the part that tears me up! He would do the kindest sweetest things and then argue withnme to the point of yelling.
Brian and I -never- yelled. He never called me names. Yet this man called me a bitch and a cunt. A waste of space. Then he says they are only words and mean nothing. They don't mean nothing to me! They show me what he really thinks of me.
Then he says I over analyze things. "Why can't you just -be-?!" He says. I'm sorry. I have 3 kids to think of. I need to think of their feelings, their safety, and their care. It doesn't help that my memory isn't the best. It never was, but now it is worse. And he played on that! I would clearly remember an event and he would adamantly say it happened another way.
And yet I still have feelings for him. What is wrong with me?