i will lay awake..when you fall for every empty word i say..

[cidith2289]

i am exhausted. when i was little, i would try so hard just to stay up till 10, because it was like..the cool thing to do. and then i grew up a little and it seemed talking about everything and anything would bring up the sun faster than the blink of an eye. now, there is hardly anything to talk about. it seems i'm too restless or emotionally drained to ever do anything besides lay down and watch tv. and why do i watch tv? i hate tv. and there is nothing to do in this town, no one is as full of life as they used to be. sometimes it feels and looks as if the whole world is careless to anything around them. they act interested, they get into your buisness and right when you think you are happy they find something in your life to use against you. that's the drama that has to be created to keep people busy. that's the price you pay for being happy. it's illegal. it's absolutly unexceptable to be happy. and they will do anything it takes to bring you down. and the time goes so fast when i'm with you, but in that moment i don't have to care about the world. i don't have to care that they don't care. and i feel like i never lost anything or anyone dear to me and i never will again..because it's all right there in your eyes.

i told myself i would wait for the sun.
but why should i?