the raindrops, the raindrops, the raindrops, the raindrops..
sometimes i stay up late at night, trying to resist the concept of waking up in the morning one day older. who says we have to grow up anyways? i mean sure, we get older..we get taller..no one can stop that (except those asian people who wrap their feet so they don't grow), but no one ever made a rule that we have to grow up. this month holds the day that my great grandmother was born on 90 years ago, but i was still hurt when my family went to visit her and she didn't even know who we were. today was better. she didn't remember us visiting her yesterday, but at least she knew us today. that's all that matters. i just wanted her to look at me as her great grandaughter, not as a stranger.
the whole ride up to minnesota i played out scenes in my head, trying to think of ways to make things better. but i still wasn't satisfied. i knew that anything i did to make myself happy, would really only make things worse in the long run. so i decided to let it go. it's expected of me to get upset. i'm supposed to let it get to me..i know..but i don't want to live up to the expectations of something so childish. i'm too strong for this, so i'm going to let it go and maybe in time people will realize that it wouldn't be worth it to try and fight back.
driving in the car for 6 hours without a notepad was horrible. i had all these thoughts and no where or way to write them down. this was supposed to be a major update, but i'm happy to be home, i'm happy to have seen my family, and i'm happy that i'm alive and well. and that my life is going better than it has in a long time. and i realized that it's going to stay good. no matter how bad things get..it will still be good and i will still be smiling. even if i cry i'll be laughing inside knowing that there will be a better day.
<3 cid.
the whole ride up to minnesota i played out scenes in my head, trying to think of ways to make things better. but i still wasn't satisfied. i knew that anything i did to make myself happy, would really only make things worse in the long run. so i decided to let it go. it's expected of me to get upset. i'm supposed to let it get to me..i know..but i don't want to live up to the expectations of something so childish. i'm too strong for this, so i'm going to let it go and maybe in time people will realize that it wouldn't be worth it to try and fight back.
driving in the car for 6 hours without a notepad was horrible. i had all these thoughts and no where or way to write them down. this was supposed to be a major update, but i'm happy to be home, i'm happy to have seen my family, and i'm happy that i'm alive and well. and that my life is going better than it has in a long time. and i realized that it's going to stay good. no matter how bad things get..it will still be good and i will still be smiling. even if i cry i'll be laughing inside knowing that there will be a better day.
<3 cid.