This is What it Feels Like to Have No Body Heat
I haven't been okay for a couple of days now. I cried two nights ago, last night, and now I'm well on my way to crying again this night. I can't get a break. I've been thinking a lot about my aunt who died last winter and of how much I really need her here with me to help me get through this. I have spent my whole life not wanting, or liking, depending on other people and now I find I've cleaved myself to the bosom of a dead aunt. Tragic. I hear the noises coming from the garage of a group of happy teens, talking and chatting and smoking away their lungs into the dewy night. I feel panic crushing my ribs and I feel the itch in my legs to run. I had a pseudo breakdown last night. I sat in the rain for two hours downtown sitting on the fence in front of my friend's car leaning against the parking meter. I sat and shook and cried and heard things in my head that were not my own thoughts. I believe they call this place the "Throes of Depression."