a long transfer post in which i am myself, which means nasty and professionally offensive.
I've already talked about it loads in other blogs&journals&message boards, and of course, Челкси and Real Madrid have yet to officially announce it, but Mr Arjen Robben is just as good as a Real Madrid player at this point (finally - lovely that it happened yesterday, on my birthday!) and I expect to see him in a white kit quite soon. That said, yes, I am happy about this. He's basically a diving twat, but now he's (just about) our diving twat, which makes the situation rather different. The boy (well, he's only 23 isn't he?) has massive amounts of speed when he's not throwing himself to the ground in 'pain'. I rather like him. I've been finding it somewhat unfunny, however, when I hear people on communities&journals going on and on about how he'll 'make the squad uglier!!! oh no!!!'. They all say that they're joking, yes, but when this is the only comment ever bandied about concerning Robben - no, I know you're really just superficial and you have nothing else constructive to say about the matter. Please kindly fuck off and learn something about football and get a real reason to bitch (i.e. that he is a diving twat).
Now I'm going to be a bitch, if you look at it in an ~ultrasensitive~ manner. Челкси fans beware. And you can deal with it, because if you're a football fan and you can't stand people criticising/hating your team, then I feel rather sorry for you. Grow a skin and Keano will be proud. And then he'll go to Italy to hunt down Patrick Vieira.
On SkySports yesterday they posted a rather bit of information and analysis about how Челкси played in the 2006/2007 season in relation to when Robben was on the pitch and when he was not. His injury problems kept him off for quite a while, but the numbers cannot lie, because goals are truly the only statistics that count in football, and the disparity is quite clear...
Well, I loled. I mean, the goals are the most important, but the rest is quite funny to me, especially win percentage - which is a direct result of goals scored, so perhaps it does count. Anyway. Moving on. Also I laughed hysterically while reading this from an English parody website. Frank "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned" Lampard and his relations with Arjen - it's hilarious. Go read. He played a big part in their 04/05 and 05/06 title wins, and it really can't be a surprise that he was absent so much in this past season and Челкси seem to lack a certain large silver trophy that they so prized just one season earlier. (As I feel as though I'm about to throw up in my mouth.) But I won't be bitter about Челкси. I won't complain. The Premiership starts tomorrow on an even playing field (West Ham...?) and that includes Челкси, unless we discuss their injury problems which I won't because quite frankly, I'm laughing too hard to care. Besides - Mourinho's been forcing him out with the addition of Florent Malouda, who is absolutely one of my most beloved players in the world. Formerly of Lyon (♥!) and France (♥♥♥!!!), and a proven goalscorer with incredible pace on the wing. (But I think he's injured? Confirm, anyone?) He's a magnificent player and he has PREMIERSHIP written all over him. Челкси, you're lucky bastards on this one. Not to mention that you're probably going to get Daniel Alves with the money from Robben.
And apart from Arjen, there is the less-discussed transfer, ROYSTON DRENTHE, formerly of Dutch club Feyenoord. He's my other birthday present. As you can see, he bears a striking resemblance to Edgar Davids, but thankfully has no connection to Spurs. He is 20 years old, and this summer he distinguished himself at the U21 Euro tournament - he became player of the tournament, actually, with the winning team Holland. As I have been reading about him in the past months, I was under the impression that Mr Drenthe was a left-back. And so I thought he was to be Roberto Carlos' replacement (as if anybody could do that). But if reports are to be believed, there are clauses in his contract with Madrid that stipulate that he will not be played mainly as a defender, but as a left sided midfielder/winger/maybe-even-striker. I do so adore versatile players (Eboue anyone?) - but I will move on. He's VERY young, obviously extraordinarily talented, and best of all, perhaps - the boy has a temper. Click here to see evidence: he tries to fight Liverpool, and primarily Steven Gerrard. Yet again, I loled. What a massive bitch he is. I am utterly thrilled about this policy of signing younger, up-and-coming starlet type players instead of aging superstars as we have done in the past. Of course I adored them all, but there is a rather brilliant, young aura about this squad that is faintly electric, I must say - they're all fighting for their spots, really fighting, and I even vaguely wonder if Drenthe will play in the Supercopa on Sunday? Probably not, but perhaps in the return leg at the Bernabéu. I hope he's super-bitchy. I like scary defenders. I like his hair. I like him.
And as if we need a Dutch trifecta (well, a quartet if you count Ruud who is already there), Schuster is after Van Der Vaart (who has said in interviews that he will leave Hamburg for one reason and one reason only: he wants to play for Real Madrid). But he's given up on Ballack if reports are to be believed. Yay? Yay? Maybe? Dunno. He was rubbish in England, but English rejects often do well in Spain - but they can keep him. Still want Nasri but that looks slightly unlike this season, if not next (unless we get Cesc or Kaká, in which case I'm afraid that Arsenal fans will come cry on my shoulder and then realise no, I actually wouldn't mind, and then I'll get stabbed; and who the hell knows at this point - the first person to go on about how sentimental and talismanic these players are will swiftly be directed to a link displaying their age and date of birth, and also how they have expressed desires to play in Spain... sorry guys, it's been said and I'm just pointing it out - I don't specifically want either one, but how could I truly say no if Calderón delivered that? as a fan, how could I?) - but a girl can dream of the mini Kabyles. I think Kaká could be a Milan legend if he were to stay, but there are no guarantees, and if we got him, and the entire Milan fangirl contingent collapsed in peals of "but I love him so much, he's so lovely; Calderón eats babies, why are his eyebrows so damn big", I would probably go into hiding and/or build myself a barricade. (Bear in mind, lovelies, that if Kaká were to go to Real Madrid at some distant point in the future, it wouldn't directly be Calderón's fault. After all, Kaká is the one who has to put pen to paper and agree personal terms.)
I also wish people would stop acting like the transfer window has never happened. It happens every year, and it should NOT change your allegiance to a team. Deciding you don't like your old team, or like a brand new one, simply because a few players have moved around, is simply ridiculous, fair-weather, and rather proving that you just like the footballers and cannot truly be branded a 'football fan'. You stick through the thick&thin no matter what happens. The Real Madrid of 07/08 is lightyears away from the Real Madrid of 97/98. I love them both for their virtues; I hope this one achieves what the boys of 97/98 did (victory in the European Cup final) but I love it already because it is Real Madrid. I won't be an idiot and turn just because the likes of Roberto Carlos, David Beckham, Ronaldo, and even Iván Helguera, have all left. They were Real Madrid, but THIS, this now, these young South American and Dutch and Spanish (and many more of course, but I'm talking about the brand new Castilla boys who have been promoted), are Real Madrid too.
How delightfully off-topic I am. I'm going to sleep now. It's 7am wtf!
~~Anissa
P.S. - Premiership tomorrow, I must say it again. Tottenham-Sunderland is at 7am, and I might just get up to watch it so I can cheer for Roy Keane & Co. against Spurs. Might. Might. Also warning to Liverpool fans: I am cheering for Villa, because I like them, and also because I don't like the 'Pool no matter how much I respect it. But half the fun of football is rivalry. (The other half is winning them.) Also I hate basically every team in the Premiership that isn't Villa or Arsenal, so expect ranting - although I can't totally hate Manchester United, as I grew up with my brother's best friend being a United fan who grew up right next to Old Trafford. And I had/have a massive crush on the boy. (Same with La Liga, except minus the exceptions apart from obviously Real Madrid, and especially the Supercopa this weekend will be bad because as everybody knows, Sevilla are devil-worshipping blood-drinking scumbags.) And Serie A will prove to be fascinating with an actual title race. Juve for the scudetto, comme toujours, but if Real do well all else goes out the window and that should be plain by now ;p
P.P.S. - Casillas reconoce que al Real Madrid para mostrar su nivel les "falta tiempo, como a todos los equipos". "No podemos conseguirlo todo el primer día. Los partido de pretemporada están para intentar corregir errores", explica Íker Casillas.
(Marca.com)
I do love this man.