Everything Will Shatter
Do you remember what it feels like to believe in something?
I can hear the rain outside, it's soft. It's cool outside, but hot in here. I'm breaking out into a cold sweat.
I cannot remember what it feels like to believe in something.
Yet my inability to extract specific beliefs from all the muddle, and my tendency to allow one fundamental, overarching belief to overwhelm and permeate all that is around me, indicates some form of belief. Or is it just another way to hold on to something? To scrape on the edges of nothingness, and with fire, scar the walls of my mind, clawing and begging, fighting and screaming, in need of a meaning. The sensation of nothingness washes over me with a satisfying chill.
The illusory qualities of the world never cease to taunt me. From what I feel, sense, need, want, and know, to the energy that emanates from me and all that is around me. Caught in a web of petty intricacies. The world around me seems so disgusting and stubbornly illusory! The most persistent of illusions! Each and every thing on earth from monetary systems, to systems of law and legislature, to governments, nations, religions, and boundaries, pale in their illusory qualities when compared to the largest illusion of all. The one that so permeates every aspect of human existence that our lives, actions, thoughts and feelings only act to further perpetuate and validate it. The one that is bonded to the essence of our very being. Intertwined, and up and down, and in a cage of only mirrors, it's impossible to know where to go. You can lose yourself in the infinity mirrors.
The illusion of heart, soul, and mind. The illusion of being. The illusion of separated substances and separated states of being; states of awareness. An illusion so clever it has us fooled. One so deeply rooted in the mind of the human that it has us operating under the constant belief that we are independently acting, separate organisms, a separate substance, bound by nothing, yet restricted by everything. When in fact, the very energy that surrounds us, creates us, and binds our very sacks of flesh together at the most fundamental level is the same in all that surrounds us. Every single thing on earth is only a separate and unique manifestation of the same exact thing. All appearing, behaving, and existing as one of an infinite amount of variables. A universe, and an existence, where everything can and does exist. Beyond the human scope.
And sitting here, I feel so utterly detatched from the heightened awareness that allows the flow between myself and the world to be activated. Even in deep mediation, I am bound to my essence. I am my essence. It is inescapable. I am a prisoner in my own body, forced to play a cruel game. I am a prisoner, trapped and embedded within organs and muscles, bone and blood, forced to manifest my personal essence in a physical manner in which others can understand, forced to operate within the realm of finiteness, a place where the world is truly only a cage.
The qualities of the world as I see them impede my ability to apply trust, faith, and belief to anything I see around me. The universe is a mesh of variables, energies, and manifestations of the same energy. It has come to the point of cruel complication, where it would seem that humans themselves, in all their tenacity and free-will decision making, seem to only perpetuate the same persistent illusion, never ending! Unknown to them that all they see have no actual meaning such as they have been applied superficially. As we struggle to understand all that is around us, the table upon which the whole puzzle must rest to be solved is utterly missing! Look beyond the physical. My pen, my camera, this desk, my computer, my hands, my feet, my eyes; all substances of matter, yet only given a meaning when it's antithesis exists. Thus, the utterly maddening paradox of our dimension.
MIRROR MIRROR ALL AROUND
ON THE CEILING ON THE GROUND,
SPINNING FASTER ROUND AND ROUND.
ARE YOU UP OR ARE YOU DOWN?
ARE YOU DOWN OR ARE YOU UP?
IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER
BECAUSE WHEN THIS MIRROR BUBBLE BURSTS,
EVERYTHING WILL SHATTER.
Lose yourself in the infinity mirrors.
I can hear the rain outside, it's soft. It's cool outside, but hot in here. I'm breaking out into a cold sweat.
I cannot remember what it feels like to believe in something.
Yet my inability to extract specific beliefs from all the muddle, and my tendency to allow one fundamental, overarching belief to overwhelm and permeate all that is around me, indicates some form of belief. Or is it just another way to hold on to something? To scrape on the edges of nothingness, and with fire, scar the walls of my mind, clawing and begging, fighting and screaming, in need of a meaning. The sensation of nothingness washes over me with a satisfying chill.
The illusory qualities of the world never cease to taunt me. From what I feel, sense, need, want, and know, to the energy that emanates from me and all that is around me. Caught in a web of petty intricacies. The world around me seems so disgusting and stubbornly illusory! The most persistent of illusions! Each and every thing on earth from monetary systems, to systems of law and legislature, to governments, nations, religions, and boundaries, pale in their illusory qualities when compared to the largest illusion of all. The one that so permeates every aspect of human existence that our lives, actions, thoughts and feelings only act to further perpetuate and validate it. The one that is bonded to the essence of our very being. Intertwined, and up and down, and in a cage of only mirrors, it's impossible to know where to go. You can lose yourself in the infinity mirrors.
The illusion of heart, soul, and mind. The illusion of being. The illusion of separated substances and separated states of being; states of awareness. An illusion so clever it has us fooled. One so deeply rooted in the mind of the human that it has us operating under the constant belief that we are independently acting, separate organisms, a separate substance, bound by nothing, yet restricted by everything. When in fact, the very energy that surrounds us, creates us, and binds our very sacks of flesh together at the most fundamental level is the same in all that surrounds us. Every single thing on earth is only a separate and unique manifestation of the same exact thing. All appearing, behaving, and existing as one of an infinite amount of variables. A universe, and an existence, where everything can and does exist. Beyond the human scope.
And sitting here, I feel so utterly detatched from the heightened awareness that allows the flow between myself and the world to be activated. Even in deep mediation, I am bound to my essence. I am my essence. It is inescapable. I am a prisoner in my own body, forced to play a cruel game. I am a prisoner, trapped and embedded within organs and muscles, bone and blood, forced to manifest my personal essence in a physical manner in which others can understand, forced to operate within the realm of finiteness, a place where the world is truly only a cage.
The qualities of the world as I see them impede my ability to apply trust, faith, and belief to anything I see around me. The universe is a mesh of variables, energies, and manifestations of the same energy. It has come to the point of cruel complication, where it would seem that humans themselves, in all their tenacity and free-will decision making, seem to only perpetuate the same persistent illusion, never ending! Unknown to them that all they see have no actual meaning such as they have been applied superficially. As we struggle to understand all that is around us, the table upon which the whole puzzle must rest to be solved is utterly missing! Look beyond the physical. My pen, my camera, this desk, my computer, my hands, my feet, my eyes; all substances of matter, yet only given a meaning when it's antithesis exists. Thus, the utterly maddening paradox of our dimension.
MIRROR MIRROR ALL AROUND
ON THE CEILING ON THE GROUND,
SPINNING FASTER ROUND AND ROUND.
ARE YOU UP OR ARE YOU DOWN?
ARE YOU DOWN OR ARE YOU UP?
IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER
BECAUSE WHEN THIS MIRROR BUBBLE BURSTS,
EVERYTHING WILL SHATTER.
Lose yourself in the infinity mirrors.