Easter
Honestly I don't understand this life. I do'nt understand how we grow up and cannot be children any longer. HOw are families treat us as if we are a new pawn in the game facing the cruelness everyone has to face. But do we really have to face it? Maybe we aren't facing it but rather avoiding it all together. Im really sick of being lost in the shuffle. I was always an adult while being a child. Why doesn't it work anymore? Holidays seem so pointless now. This past year has been one of the worst as far as they go. There's no reason. One of the best easter's I've ever had was when I went to Neal and Jenny's and dyed eggs. It seemed so silly and mundane at the time but you knwo I will never forget that. Someday it will be like that again. Except hopefully this time we'll get the white eggs :P. How does time pass so quickly that we are rushing to catch up? I miss my family. I miss that feeling of security. I miss not thinking about every little thing I will say or do. I miss not feeling defensive. I miss real hugs. On top of it all I miss those nights where I felt welcome and was just content with sitting watching a movie together. Long talks by the fire. Where did it all go? Was that my adulthood and this my childhood? How does this work? Can it really be lost forever until the day I have children of my own? The lost transition is one which makes no sense and seems so unneccesary.