6.

[ciaobastards]

Oh, San Valentino's. If I was back home, I would be in some nice, fancy restaurant that serves the best pasta and charming some lovely signorinas. And it's not my brother who does that and I can totally enchant more chicks than he can! Just because I don't have a photo album to prove doesn't mean it's not true, dammit

Comments

[handsoffmychips]

Why are you singing on the phone?

[ciaobastards]

[yet another person asking him what he's singing-nevertheless, he offers this song as an answer again anyways]

Possente amor mi chiama,
volar io deggio a lei

[which translates to: "Mighty love calls me/And I must fly to her"]

[handsoffmychips]

Keep your romance songs to yourself. Mari does not want to hear them.

[ciaobastards]

I palpiti, i palpiti sentir,
confondere i miei coi suoi sospir...
Cielo! Si può morir!

[ignores you and sings another song-and this one is about feeling the beat of "her" heart and how he could die for it]

[handsoffmychips]

So obnoxious--

[Wait a second, does that language seem familiar? Oh why yes it does!]

...Italian?

[ciaobastards]

Si!

[sung on a pretty high note]

[handsoffmychips]

[Have a scream of RAGE over the phone]

Shut up or Mari will come find you and make you shut up!

[ciaobastards]

[and he shrieks in fear in response, but then sings this anyways]

Morir! sì pura e bella!
Morir per me d'amore...

["To die is pure and lovely!/To die for my love"]

[handsoffmychips]

Wimpy idiot wants to die? Wimpy idiot can get his wish.

[Click.

Fear not! Guess who didn't learn their lesson the first time? This girl. So on the way, she's just eating those candy hearts, but she's avoiding the "Be Good" ones.]

[ciaobastards]

[just sobs and starts to nervously munch one some candy hearts as well...one of them being a blank one]

...What the fuck was I just doing?!

[handsoffmychips]

[...knock knock knock.]

[ciaobastards]

[opens the door a crack]

What do you want?

[handsoffmychips]

[You know all that candy she ate on the way? Well, now she feels all nice and lovey dovey now.]

To say that Mari is sorry for saying mean things over the phone. ...And that Mari l-likes you.

[ciaobastards]

Th-that means you're not going to hurt me, right?! Goddammit I hope not she better not be bullshitting me!

[handsoffmychips]

Hurt you? Mari would never hurt you.

[ciaobastards]

B-b-b-but you just said! On the phone!