suntok sa buwan
"di mo ba alam damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan..
makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan.."
yes, it feels that way. and yes, the painful slap of reality hit me that with my lack of patience, i'd barely survive all this-- that is, if i ever will.
first off, it's true that when you find out that the person you least expect to understand you actually do, you'd feel ecstatic. but the level of exhuberance you'd get from that won't compensate the disappointment & frustration of finding out that the number one person you had expected to understand you don't get you at all. i can't even say anything anymore without second guessing myself or thoroughly thinking if that would either sound nagging or too nonchalant. pbft!
then there's the vicious cycle of waiting. like literally waiting. it's only been months and i already feel trapped with all these technologies that are supposed to help but are actually getting in the way. it feels like all odds are going against me.
yeah, i'm just ranting.
i feel trapped. taken for granted. sometimes ignored. sometimes too scrutinized. again i say pbft!
and so i ask myself in exasperation... how long can i go through all this?