Relationship Advice
Well, my roommate and I wound up in the same boat with the lady situation. I myself was trying to find some catharsis and a way to pull myself out of this black hole of self pity and misery and “what did I do wrong” stuff and all that other bullcrap. We got to thinking about how vigorous exercise releases endorphins into your system and how maybe that could help us make a clean break.
So here’s the breakdown for the system we came up with to minimize our recovery time. Do your best to adhere to the penalties for each respective offense. It’s easier if you have a friend in the same situation so you can do it together keep each other in check.
(I use the word “her” in all these, but I guess the ladies could do it too if you’d like.)
Anyhow, here goes:
Thinking about her excessively: (Honor system on this one, don’t cheat!): 10 pushups
Leaving her in your “Top 8”: 15 pushups for every day she’s still there
Stalling or procrastinating about getting a task done (homework, taxes etc.): 20 pushups
Cooking up homespun theories about the opposite sex to explain “why:” 25 pushups
Reading old emails you sent each other: 30 pushups
Listening to old voicemails she left you: 35 pushups
Looking at old pictures of you and her together: 40 pushups
Intentionally listening to any music you know will remind you of her: 45 pushups
Talking about the girl or the breakup to friends: 50 pushups
(This includes talking about it over the phone or IM)
Hanging onto any souvenirs: 60 pushups (hide that shit in a box somewhere that you don’t have to look at it, the closet or under the bed is a probably best)
Mentioning the mere idea of rebounding with some uggo: 75 pushups
Texting her: 80 pushups
Calling her: 90 pushups
Writing her a letter/email: 100 pushups (especially if you pour yourself out, tsk tsk tsk)
Myspace stalking: 150 pushups
You don’t have to do all the pushups in one go, just make sure you settle your debts the day you incur them. As for me, I’m seeing a lot more upper body definition and I think I’m coming around faster than I would otherwise. (Not that I’m necessarily guilty of all the above offenses, just making sure we cover every contingency.)
Anyhow, out of sight, out of mind. Try it out yourself next time you find yourself in that situation, I think you’ll be happy to find yourself wasting a lot less time feeling shitty about yourself and more time admiring your new muscles in the mirror.
Look what it did for Al Roker:
Any suggestions or criticism are welcome.
So here’s the breakdown for the system we came up with to minimize our recovery time. Do your best to adhere to the penalties for each respective offense. It’s easier if you have a friend in the same situation so you can do it together keep each other in check.
(I use the word “her” in all these, but I guess the ladies could do it too if you’d like.)
Anyhow, here goes:
Thinking about her excessively: (Honor system on this one, don’t cheat!): 10 pushups
Leaving her in your “Top 8”: 15 pushups for every day she’s still there
Stalling or procrastinating about getting a task done (homework, taxes etc.): 20 pushups
Cooking up homespun theories about the opposite sex to explain “why:” 25 pushups
Reading old emails you sent each other: 30 pushups
Listening to old voicemails she left you: 35 pushups
Looking at old pictures of you and her together: 40 pushups
Intentionally listening to any music you know will remind you of her: 45 pushups
Talking about the girl or the breakup to friends: 50 pushups
(This includes talking about it over the phone or IM)
Hanging onto any souvenirs: 60 pushups (hide that shit in a box somewhere that you don’t have to look at it, the closet or under the bed is a probably best)
Mentioning the mere idea of rebounding with some uggo: 75 pushups
Texting her: 80 pushups
Calling her: 90 pushups
Writing her a letter/email: 100 pushups (especially if you pour yourself out, tsk tsk tsk)
Myspace stalking: 150 pushups
You don’t have to do all the pushups in one go, just make sure you settle your debts the day you incur them. As for me, I’m seeing a lot more upper body definition and I think I’m coming around faster than I would otherwise. (Not that I’m necessarily guilty of all the above offenses, just making sure we cover every contingency.)
Anyhow, out of sight, out of mind. Try it out yourself next time you find yourself in that situation, I think you’ll be happy to find yourself wasting a lot less time feeling shitty about yourself and more time admiring your new muscles in the mirror.
Look what it did for Al Roker:
Any suggestions or criticism are welcome.