I Don't Believe in Fairy Tales-a Shannon Rutherford (Lost) story for dance_the_dance
This is for the wonderful dance_the_dance who has been endlessly patient and kind about how long this has taken me to write for her.
Despite what everyone else may believe, Shannon did not become an au pair so she could hook up with her charge's father. Shannon had already had a father, thank you very much, and he had died, and she was not looking to replace him, especially not like that. She had no Electra Complex, just an evil stepmother, and a dead father, and a stepbrother she definitely idolized and just might love in a way she was never quite prepared for. That was enough for any one girl to handle. More than enough.
And Shannon certainly did not see herself in Laurent. That kid was a brat, plain and simple. Shannon knew she could have brat-like tendencies, a desire and will to get her way, the ability to bat her eyelashes at someone and cry later when they decided she wasn't worth the effort anymore. But she also could love deeply, did love deeply, Boone, her father, dance. Laurent didn't love anyone. He loved things, money, making her watch Finding Nemo over and over again until she could no longer find the joy in that sweet film anymore, and La Mer played on endless repeat in her head.
Shannon used to love those movies of her childhood. When it was just her and her father, mother long gone, Shannon barely able to picture the crinkle around her eyes when she laughed anymore-that was when they watched endless cartoons, brightly-colored princesses, princes, talking animals, magical creatures. Her father, who knew her perhaps better than anyone, until Boone came along, her father did not know what to do with a child's grief.
So they watched movies, on old video cassettes, her father installing a boxy beautiful television set and VCR near the foot of her bed, where she could turn it on with no effort when sleep eluded her. She would fall asleep on her father's shoulder, dream of enchanted forests and towers and bunnies with big eyes and sweet songs.
Shannon never expected a Prince Charming though. She was already savvy enough to know that princes didn't exist. She knew her mother and father had cared for each other, had enjoyed each other's company, and in that they were probably luckier than a lot of other married couples, especially in their social circle. But they didn't love each other, not that all-consuming fight the dragon take on the evil witch kind of love. Not even the love where you care enough to honor someone's memory with a quiet continuation of existence, just raising the child you had with them, not seeking out anything new, or anyone new.
Shannon never expected a wicked stepmother either, obviously. But maybe she gave her father too much credit, or believed in the fading memory of her mother too much. Deep down, she knows she's not being fair to her father, not really. He never really loved Sabrina either, or ever even really seemed to enjoy her company all that much. Sabrina was always shopping, he was always working, and while they technically shared a bedroom, most nights her father would doze off on the couch in the study, business papers spilled across his chest, his tie still on.
So no, Shannon didn't become an au pair, travel to France, take care of a terrible terror of a child, have an affair, all to find some mythical prince, some reincarnation of a father.
She left for simple reasons. Because she hated her stepmother. Because her stepmother hated her. Because her father was dead and her mother was dead and she couldn't afford to dance anymore. Everything and everyone was gone, except Boone, and Shannon knew he'd have to leave sometime soon because she loved him and that meant he would leave her.
Sabrina had even thrown away all the VHS tapes.
Heaven, Shannon believed (and found out later, after the reunion and the church and that bright light ushered in by Jack's dad, that she was of course completely right) meant no one ever left, unless you wanted them to. And VHS tapes still played beautifully when she watched them up there with Boone.