Why I don't believe in "bullies" in the classic sense
This has been going on for months, so I might as well weigh in.
And don't get me wrong, I believe that an individual can bully, but when it boils down to it, someone is either committing an offense, or they are not. None of this "Kids will be kids" stuff - and no double standards (I once read a book on the difference between aggression in girls and boys, and wow, did it open my eyes when I started noticing how differently we tend to treat people of different genders, especially young people), but what it really boils down to is that a teacher will have to intervene and, I've learned from personal experience, the new, bright-eyed social justicesteers usually get slammed down from the old guy sitting on his rumpus and he's protected by his union.
There's a lot of drama going on in my province because they powers that be are trying to legislate an anti-bullying bill into the schools, which allows whatever special-interest groups to set up, even in the religious schools who oppose some of the clubs that could in theory be set up.
My running attitude was, "I thought schools were supposed to teach us how to think, not what to think." But I just read a fascinating book called Infidel by Ayaan Hirisi Ali and it put into perspective some of the horrific stuff I've heard and read about, but it was on a very personal level (unfortunately for the author, this tactic usually invokes and emotional response and, I scoff and repress my emotions, filing them accordingly). I think schools have become places of social engineering and, more unfortunately, this is necessary because they allow for people who are in genuinely f*cked up situations a chance to get out. So the cynic over here is all like, "When are we going to talk about how the education system's not preparing kids for higher learning?" when the issue at hand is band-aid solutions for big problems. If you manage to stop overt tactics, this bullshit will continue - it'll just be done on levels that aren't as easy to catch. That's not saying that schools should be a cesspool for snotty shits to congregate and plot, but I just don't think that asking teachers to fix this problem is the solution.
I could easily tangent about power-structures in society, most of which expect that most of us smile, nod, and essentially bend over and take it. But I think it's part and parcel to our society. I had a boss who tried to bully me into submission (Didn't work, I got generically fired when I was no longer of use).
Things have changed - I remember when the internet was all new and sparkly and I had no idea how to use a search engine, so people weren't making hate blogs and trashing reps. People still made up nasty rumors about me. People tried to pick on me, but I gave it back to them, so I really can't say I was bullied.
But I can't really accept the, "Well, it's not racist if nobody took offense to it!" line, so what about the "Well, Billy thought the joke was funny yesterday, but now, he thinks it's getting old. Oh, and now Harry's saying it, so that's not cool." I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but I thought the law wasn't supposed to be that subjective. Furthermore, most people suck at communication - and I don't think we should be freaking out when someone says something that might be misconstrued to have a different meaning then the original intent (and believe me, those of us who like to debate like to twist words; it's kind of a game, really, so imagine a professional doing it). And I'm all for a culture that says, "Let's stop catering to asses." But I think because we have a consumer-culture that caters to the individual on a highly materialistic, almost unattainable level, where we're taught to be in competition with each other, that there's too many people and not enough to go around, we get into this idea of "Me first!" and then we give scraps to the needy to feel better about ourselves. I feel so bad for Them but I am not Them! I Am Better - but maybe it's just me going into poor people's houses, and me wondering how our lives can be so different.
Maybe I'm being cynical, but I think if we want to change this problem, we need to take an honest, good look at our society, and ourselves, and make the changes we want to see take place, and not expect the government to solve it for us. Bullying is not anytime anyone hurts my feelings, but no one has the right to belittle, threaten, or assault someone, especially not on school grounds. Let's cut the doublespeak and start laying police charges on the serious offenses, including restraining orders on the net-stalkers.
And don't get me wrong, I believe that an individual can bully, but when it boils down to it, someone is either committing an offense, or they are not. None of this "Kids will be kids" stuff - and no double standards (I once read a book on the difference between aggression in girls and boys, and wow, did it open my eyes when I started noticing how differently we tend to treat people of different genders, especially young people), but what it really boils down to is that a teacher will have to intervene and, I've learned from personal experience, the new, bright-eyed social justicesteers usually get slammed down from the old guy sitting on his rumpus and he's protected by his union.
There's a lot of drama going on in my province because they powers that be are trying to legislate an anti-bullying bill into the schools, which allows whatever special-interest groups to set up, even in the religious schools who oppose some of the clubs that could in theory be set up.
My running attitude was, "I thought schools were supposed to teach us how to think, not what to think." But I just read a fascinating book called Infidel by Ayaan Hirisi Ali and it put into perspective some of the horrific stuff I've heard and read about, but it was on a very personal level (unfortunately for the author, this tactic usually invokes and emotional response and, I scoff and repress my emotions, filing them accordingly). I think schools have become places of social engineering and, more unfortunately, this is necessary because they allow for people who are in genuinely f*cked up situations a chance to get out. So the cynic over here is all like, "When are we going to talk about how the education system's not preparing kids for higher learning?" when the issue at hand is band-aid solutions for big problems. If you manage to stop overt tactics, this bullshit will continue - it'll just be done on levels that aren't as easy to catch. That's not saying that schools should be a cesspool for snotty shits to congregate and plot, but I just don't think that asking teachers to fix this problem is the solution.
I could easily tangent about power-structures in society, most of which expect that most of us smile, nod, and essentially bend over and take it. But I think it's part and parcel to our society. I had a boss who tried to bully me into submission (Didn't work, I got generically fired when I was no longer of use).
Things have changed - I remember when the internet was all new and sparkly and I had no idea how to use a search engine, so people weren't making hate blogs and trashing reps. People still made up nasty rumors about me. People tried to pick on me, but I gave it back to them, so I really can't say I was bullied.
But I can't really accept the, "Well, it's not racist if nobody took offense to it!" line, so what about the "Well, Billy thought the joke was funny yesterday, but now, he thinks it's getting old. Oh, and now Harry's saying it, so that's not cool." I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but I thought the law wasn't supposed to be that subjective. Furthermore, most people suck at communication - and I don't think we should be freaking out when someone says something that might be misconstrued to have a different meaning then the original intent (and believe me, those of us who like to debate like to twist words; it's kind of a game, really, so imagine a professional doing it). And I'm all for a culture that says, "Let's stop catering to asses." But I think because we have a consumer-culture that caters to the individual on a highly materialistic, almost unattainable level, where we're taught to be in competition with each other, that there's too many people and not enough to go around, we get into this idea of "Me first!" and then we give scraps to the needy to feel better about ourselves. I feel so bad for Them but I am not Them! I Am Better - but maybe it's just me going into poor people's houses, and me wondering how our lives can be so different.
Maybe I'm being cynical, but I think if we want to change this problem, we need to take an honest, good look at our society, and ourselves, and make the changes we want to see take place, and not expect the government to solve it for us. Bullying is not anytime anyone hurts my feelings, but no one has the right to belittle, threaten, or assault someone, especially not on school grounds. Let's cut the doublespeak and start laying police charges on the serious offenses, including restraining orders on the net-stalkers.