RPF fic: Planetfall (2/2) (for SPN/J2 Big Bang)

[ciaan]

Continued from post one

Eventually Jensen succumbed to his exhaustion and when he woke there was bright light coming in through the edges of the hatch.

His mouth tasted foul, his whole body felt filthy, and his skin hurt, all hot and tight. When Jensen looked at his arm it was reddened and covered in small brown dots.

The sun. The sun had damaged him during just his brief exposure to it.

And he was even more hungry and thirsty than before.

Jensen stood up and had to hold onto the edge of the chair as another wave of dizziness pulsed through him. Thankfully it was only momentary.

He had dismantled the solid matter recycler so it was a good thing he didn't have to use that right now. He relieved himself into the water recycler and again was torn for a moment between leaving that for the oxygen membrane and taking it for himself. Not that there was much liquid in it since he had had so little to drink the cycle before. But in the end he reminded himself how important it was for the oxygen membrane to regrow.

Now of course came the question of what he was going to do about food and water. He would have to drink more of that dirty water. That was a certainty: there was nothing else to drink and he couldn't survive without it. Technically he could go a little longer without eating, it wouldn't kill him, but Jensen was realizing how very painful it would be, and it was already having a negative impact on his performance.

And in order to secure either water or food, he would have to go outside again. Back into that dangerously open and disgusting environment. Where the pirate was waiting.

Jensen took a deep breath, steeling himself, and opened the hatch all the way, clinging to the edge of it as he looked outside.

There was the pirate, just a short ways from the ship, sitting on the ground with an actual fire in front of him. Jensen could see the hot red flames leaping, hear them crackling. He pulled back automatically. The fire would consume all the oxygen. Then he reminded himself that no, it would not consume all the oxygen here. What was more of a danger was the chance that it would go wild and burn up all the plants, sweep its flames across the ship, leave this a scorched and barren place.

How could the pirate do something so dangerous and foolish? Of course, the pirate was a dangerous and insane fool anyway, so that was the answer to that question.

The pirate looked over and noticed Jensen standing there. "It's safe. It's contained," he said, gesturing to the fire. Jensen could see, now, that the pirate must have cleared some plants away, because there was a circle of bare dirt with the fire inside it, the flames consuming the pieces of tree piled there. "And I had an idea."

"This example of your ideas," Jensen replied, pointing to the fire, "doesn't give me any more confidence in them than I had before."

"I thought," the pirate continued as if Jensen hadn't even spoken, "that I could take the container down to the stream and run the water through the recycler for you."

That brought such a flash of relief that Jensen pulled out of his whirl of worry and annoyance for a moment. Then he berated himself for not having that idea already. He just hadn't thought to introduce the outside water into the system. But if it were put through the recycler, then it would be clean and he could drink it. He could drink as much as he wanted... That was about the best thing he could imagine right now, pathetic as that proved him.

The pirate grinned, Jensen's expression presumably having betrayed his thoughts. "There, see? Also, you can have those if you want." He nodded now to where his boots and jacket were set on the ground right by the entry. "And I got more food."

Jensen supposed that he would deign to continue using the pirate's vestments, horrid as they were, because it was still cold and he still had little desire to have his feet maimed by the wildlife on this planet. He slipped his feet into the boots as he stepped out of the runabout and picked up the jacket, repressing his distaste.

Walking warily closer, Jensen saw now that there was a large leaf on the ground by the pirate bearing more fruit and another with a few objects that looked like pictures Jensen had seen of the reproductive cycle of certain animals. He wasn't sure what the pirate had those for. These fruits were of a kind Jensen recognized. They were grown in the hydroponic gardens of his House. Obviously this world had been inhabited, or at least seeded, by the Old Republic. There might be ruins and artifacts somewhere that he hadn't bothered to look closely for when they were coming in from space. If there were any that were close enough to reach without transportation they could be interesting and possibly helpful.

Jensen found a mostly flat lump of mineral to sit on that was far enough from the fire to feel safe. The pirate slid the leaf covered in fruit over toward Jensen, who carefully reached out and picked up one of them. It was firm and ripe, though smaller and less evenly shaped than he would normally expect. It did, though, have a blemish on the side where it looked like something had bored into it. Jensen put it down with a shudder and examined the three other fruits until he found one that was unmarked.

He was so hungry, and looking at the fruit was making his dry mouth water, but he still couldn't stop thinking about how it had grown out here in the open, exposed and dirty, and then been sitting on the ground a moment ago.

"Just eat it," the pirate said in annoyance. "I don't particularly want the Empire to find me with your corpse and charge me for your murder."

"Of course you wouldn't be smart enough to hide the evidence," Jensen snapped back.

The pirate laughed another of his huge laughs at that. Jensen didn't appreciate being mocked. "It's good to know you can make a joke."

"I wasn't joking."

The pirate sobered and looked at him. "That's more true to form. Besides, it's not like they'd need evidence." He stood up and walked toward the ship, leaving Jensen confused again by another of his inexplicable statements. He disappeared inside and Jensen could hear the clang of a panel opening. He dropped the fruit he was still holding back onto the leaf and ran over to make sure the pirate wasn't sabotaging his work.

The pirate was easing out one of the small holding containers from the water recycler. He pulled it free and stared at Jensen. "I'm just getting you your water, my lord. I'm not breaking anything." He stepped out of the hatch and brushed past Jensen in a huff, then walked off toward the trees and the water.

There was no end to how infuriating that barbarian was.

Jensen sat down on his mineral lump again, eyeing the fire even more suspiciously now that he was alone with it. And he did wonder how the pirate had started it. He would like to shut himself away from it but someone needed to keep watch over it, though with no extinguisher he wasn't sure what he would do to turn it off if it went out of control. It couldn't be left alone, though. It was dangerous.

Though he did have to admit, if only to himself, that it was radiating a fairly pleasant warmth.

Jensen searched through the fruits until he relocated the one that he had decided was in the best shape. It was indeed true that he needed to eat something. If the solid matter recycler were online he could put these fruits through it and create a product more palatable and fit for consumption. But it was still dismantled. So this was his only option.

He shut his eyes, tried to forget about its origins, and took a bite.

It was sweet and good and the juice of it burst into his mouth. Then when he swallowed his stomach began to twist and claw even sharper inside him so Jensen devoured the rest of the fruit at a speed almost as intense as his shame.

While he was eating the next least bad-looking fruit the pirate returned. Jensen kept eating and let the man replace the now full container in the water recycler. He wanted to be able to rush in there and drink but he would have to wait a while for the water to be cleaned and processed.

The pirate came back out and sat next to the fire on Jensen's side. He was quiet for a moment, glancing sidelong at Jensen a few times as Jensen finished off the second fruit. Then he reached out toward the other leaf with its mysterious objects.

"I didn't manage to catch anything but eggs," he said ruefully as he picked up one of the hard greenish ovoids. Then he cracked it open on a flat mineral surface that was half inside the flames and coals of the fire and let its gooey insides run and pool in the center of the surface. They started to congeal and bubble in the heat and become more solid.

"But what is it for?" Jensen asked, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

The pirate looked at him like he couldn't believe what Jensen had said. "Eating," he replied, his tone indicating that what he said was perfectly self-evident when actually it was anything but.

It was awful. That was some kind of animal's attempt at reproducing and it looked like the most disgusting kind of bodily fluids and Jensen couldn't believe anyone would eat it. Dirty fruit was bad enough but this was even more beyond the pale. And Jensen said this even while wearing clothes made from dead animals. Wait, did that mean... Did that mean that the pirate had been trying to catch animals and kill them and eat their corpses? It was unbelievable. Jensen had no idea how the man could be a citizen of the Empire and act like this. It was as if he had no standards at all.

The egg thing had now fully solidified. The pirate tore off a piece of leaf, folded it up, and used it to lift the egg thing off the mineral surface. Jensen couldn't even think that being on the ground could make the egg thing any more dirty than it already was by virtue of its own nature, and he had to look away, shuddering, as the pirate popped it into his mouth.

"Better than I expected from the cooking method," the pirate said. "You want one?"

"No!" Jensen exclaimed. He had not sunk as far as that and he hoped with all his might that he would make it off this planet long before he ever reached that point.

"Okay," the pirate chuckled. "More for me." And he cracked another egg open.

Jensen stood up and went inside the runabout to check on the progress of the water recycler and get away from the pirate's disgusting habits. Only some of the water had cycled through but it was enough done by now that he could have a drink.

The clean, cool water was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced. He no longer felt so dried up and desperate. He was refreshed and brought back to life.

With water and food inside him and some sleep behind him Jensen was ready to go back to work now. He shucked off the boots and jacket near the hatch because they would only get in his way and he still didn't like wearing them.

He still needed to finish the connections for the grav generator, but he wanted to look at the shields more before he went back to that.

Jensen had just opened the access hatch to the shield controls when the pirate came inside, carrying the last two fruits, and settled himself in the pilot's seat again, raising it upright and setting the fruits on the dash panel.

"You can see I didn't break the water recycler," he said, "so possibly there's something I can do?"

"I don't need your help here," Jensen answered.

"I've been helping you all along and you continue to not even notice. You have the most horrible manners, you know."

"I have excellent manners for people who deserve them."

The pirate stretched his legs out even further, crossing his arms behind his head and lounging looser in the seat. "I was wondering earlier why a House scion was out by himself, but I've definitely found the answer by now. Even bodyguards can't stand to be around you, Jensen."

Jensen sat up as straight as possible. "Not that it's any of your business, pirate, but I was engaged in a scientific expedition."

"Alone."

"That is how I prefer it." He glanced pointedly back and forth between the pirate and the hatch to outside. The pirate didn't move. "Soon enough I shan't be allowed that anymore. But I should have been safe to enjoy some of my last moments of freedom except that certain people have unreasonably rejected all tenets of civilized behavior despite apparently being citizens of the Empire."

"Citizens? It's not like you allow protectorates any votes or rights. That's how civilized your Empire is." The pirate wasn't lounging anymore, rather bristling, his voice contemptuous and insulting.

"All new member worlds must be protectorates at first so they can learn the Charter and be integrated into society," Jensen responded calmly. He would not respond with his own uncouth. "You'll be full citizens eventually with seats in the Council."

"I don't want to be one of your citizens. I want my world to be free again. That's what I'm fighting for."

"Well, your world chose to join the Empire. Just because you personally would remain a barbarian-"

The pirate laughed with a mocking growl. "Some choice. You and the Union blasted us into ruins during your war, so when the pox hit we had no resources to handle it. But would you give us medicine in return for the damage you did? Of course not. We had to buy it from you, and when we couldn't afford the payments, since you'd broken everything, you annexed us because you said we owed you. Now we're a protectorate, protected from exploitation by anyone but you. And we have to follow your Charter and obey all your laws and pay your taxes and we don't have a say in anything. That's what seems barbaric to me."

"But that's not how it happened." Jensen didn't really study history and had only been a child during the war, didn't understand all the news then, but he knew how it had occurred. "The Union tried to conquer and bomb you and we helped liberate you and then aided you when the pox struck. That was why your world joined the Empire. The rest of your people were smart enough to realize that it was the best option." That was always how it went.

"Save your propaganda for someone else. I was there. My father was killed by an Empire blast," the pirate ground out.

"But- That must have been an accident." The Empire had only attacked Union targets.

"It was hardly an accident. You destroyed all our energy production facilities."

"I-" Jensen stopped and looked away from the pirate toward the open hatch. Could there possibly be some truth to what the pirate was saying? But it was so unbelievable. The Empire didn't force worlds to join. They didn't need to. People wanted to join because the Empire was a civilizing beacon of justice and prosperity, far preferable to the primitive conditions of the unaffiliated worlds or the despotism of the Union. If he were to think otherwise, Jensen might as well start believing that gravity repelled objects and that stars sucked in radiation.

"I suppose your whole Council is full of ignorant liars like you, and that explains it all."

"I am not a liar. Nor ignorant. And I don't even want a Council seat," Jensen hissed. "It's boring, pointless political arguments like-"

"Life or death power over billions is boring and pointless?" The pirate stood and walked toward Jensen and Jensen rose up as well to meet him. But the pirate kept moving forward and Jensen took a step away that left his back pressed up against the hull of the ship. The pirate leaned in, his face too close to Jensen's, his eyes dark with anger.

Jensen felt the same anger running through him, pulsing in every nerve as he clenched his fists and stared the pirate down. How dare he presume like this. The air between them felt like it was sparking with fury, swirling over Jensen's skin from the pirate's proximity.

The pirate raised up a hand and pressed it heavily against Jensen's throat, sending a shiver through Jensen's whole body. "Maybe I should just-" Jensen shoved hard at the pirate's chest but he didn't move away. Jensen was too angry to even be afraid. After a moment the man finally stepped back. "No. You're worthless." He turned and disappeared outside. Jensen collapsed back against the hull, panting.

Had he really been in danger? Was the pirate actually a madman, or was there some truth in what he said?

If the pirate's story was true then his actions made a lot more sense, and so did many of his earlier statements. Even if his story wasn't true, he clearly believed it. Knowing the shape of his delusions at least gave Jensen information to formulate better predictions for his actions.

When Jensen returned to his House he would research the subject and see if there was any evidence to support the pirate's claims. If there were, though Jensen couldn't believe there would be, then the pirate's attitude was understandable. There was no justice in the story he told.

There ought to be justice. Even if one situation had somehow been mishandled, that didn't change the general principles the Empire stood for, or the hope it brought to so many in the galaxy who would otherwise be worse off.

Jensen's attention was caught by the two fruits still sitting on the pilot's instrument panel. He wandered over, seated himself, and picked one up. From now on, he would change his tactics with the pirate. He would ignore the man's horrible habits and rude manners as much as possible and not complain about them. He might even try to see if the pirate was smart enough to assist him in some of his work. And he would be meticulously polite to the pirate and show him the true nature of civilized behavior.

With that solved to his satisfaction Jensen bit into the fruit and quickly finished both of them off. If he stoically resolved to ignore their origins he could stand to enjoy them a little. Afterwards he drank more water, and that was still as wonderful as it had been earlier. He did not, however, finish off all of what was clean. He filled the cup with it and went outside, putting on the boots but not the jacket.

The pirate was sitting there by his little fire, his back to the ship, staring off into the distance. He stiffened as Jensen approached but didn't turn to look at him.

"I brought you this," Jensen said, crouching down beside the pirate and holding the cup out to him.

The pirate turned cold eyes on him. "Something that I supplied for you in the first place."

Jensen drew on all his pride to do what he must do. "And thank you for that. For all the things you've supplied to me." He couldn't quite look at the pirate as he said it, though, focusing on a strand of the man's hair that had come loose and was curling about his ear.

For a long moment the pirate said nothing and neither of them moved. Then he took the cup from Jensen. "You're welcome," he said, and drained it in one long swallow. Jensen snatched the cup back from him when he was done before he could set it on the ground.

"I shall look into your claims when I get back to my House," Jensen continued. "If there have been mistakes made then the Empire will see to it that justice is restored. Worlds cannot be forced to join."

"I'm beginning to think," the pirate said slowly, "that you just don't understand how your own Empire works. That's their standard practice."

Jensen narrowed his eyes and glared at the pirate, then remembered that he was trying to stay polite. He shook his head. "No. It can't be. I would never vote for such a thing, and I know my mothers and siblings wouldn't either."

The pirate shrugged. "That's as may be. Doesn't change what happens."

"But if that happens then it must change. I will look into it," Jensen repeated. He was trying to placate the pirate, but he was also telling the truth. He would indeed research this strange claim.

The pirate cocked his head to the side, examining Jensen closely. Now Jensen did stare back. He noticed that the pirate's skin had darkened more, the color evening out and not leaving those pale rings around his eyes. But he hadn't turned red the way Jensen had. Maybe it didn't hurt him the same. There were also rough, short hairs growing in around his mouth and along his chin and throat. If he wasn't repressing the hairs there, how had there been none when Jensen first saw him? What did he do to keep them away?

"And please accept my condolences for your loss," Jensen continued. "I- My father and second mother died in the war as well, leaving me with only two parents. I can imagine how you feel."

"Or not. I only have one parent."

"I am trying," Jensen said, as calmly as possible, "to be nice to you. Don't make it harder than it has to be."

The pirate laughed at that, which was proof that Jensen still didn't have a theory that explained him well at all, because he hadn't predicted that response. He had mentioned his parents' deaths. That was hardly something that should lead to laughter.

"I think you have that backward," the pirate said.

"I do not."

"Did you know that you have freckles?" The pirate reached out and ran a fingertip across Jensen's cheek. Jensen twitched away. The pirate's skin was rough and hard, a contrast to the light touch, which, gentle as it was, pressed into the damage from the sun and made Jensen's face feel hot and pained.

"What?" Jensen asked.

"You look more like a real person, all sunburned and freckled."

Jensen flushed more. The pirate must mean the dark spots on him. Jensen had always hated the imperfections in his skin color, but they had been minor, just a slight difference in shading, easy enough to hide. Now they were standing out clearly visible all over him, pulled to the surface by the sun.

"But you don't like that. You don't like any of this." The pirate waved a hand to indicate the whole planet. "You think it's all wrong. You'd rather stay locked away in your space station where you can pretend everything's perfect. Where you can believe everyone wants to join you because why would we want to stay down here in the dirt?"

"Why do you?" Jensen snapped.

"Because my world is beautiful!" the pirate exclaimed. "And look at you, you hardly feel anything. You mention your parents dying to try to be polite to me, as if it means nothing to you. As if-"

"How dare you." Jensen cut him off. "How dare you even claim to know how I feel."

"Why not? You claimed to know how I felt. But you didn't have to take shelter from the raids. You didn't have to live in fear."

"Is that why you enjoy making me your prisoner?"

"But I thought I was under arrest by you. Because of course you're always in control and always untouchable and pristine."

"Well, I ended up here," Jensen said, angry yet closer to being overwhelmed than he had been since the time before when he had first stepped outside. He hadn't been in control or untouched since the pirate's ship had appeared, no matter what he claimed, and certainly not pristine. For example, here he was arguing with the pirate again when he had just resolved to be scrupulously polite. But the pirate made it impossible to do otherwise. "And that doesn't mean- I tell you about the worst thing that's ever happened to me, barring this current situation, and you say I have no feelings?"

"Precisely because nothing bad ever happens to you."

"That doesn't give you the right-"

"No, that doesn't give you the right."

"I never did anything to you."

"Apparently you just stood by and ignored it all. Because you can do that, you can avoid anything you don't like, hide away from the world while still getting to play with whatever you want."

Jensen glared, even more furious. "I said I would help you, but your continued ungratefulness makes that seem foolish."

The pirate widened his eyes in faked surprise. "Oh, was that an offer of help? It sounded like you didn't believe a word I said, my lord. Besides, we hardly need your help."

"What would you prefer then, if your story is true? To get justice, or to continue your fruitless piratical attempts until you're arrested?"

"You can just stay out of it," the pirate emphasized, crossing his arms.

"Fine." Jensen turned away. He didn't need this. He would still do what he had to do to ease his own curiosity and conscience, but he didn't care at all about what the pirate thought of it. The pirate was just a single very annoying person. That wasn't what mattered. It was the principle of the thing in general that was important.

"Fine," the pirate echoed.

Jensen stood up and went back inside to have another drink of water. He first very carefully wiped off the cup and then rinsed it, pouring that water back in to be cleansed again before filling it to drink from once more. The pirate had been touching it after all.

He really ought to keep working, but he was getting very tired of doing so. It was the only thing to do, other than sit outside and talk to the pirate. Jensen was bored, and he wasn't used to being bored. He'd always been able to find some way to entertain himself. But he'd never had options that were this limited before, or something that he felt he had to do, needed to do, even when he didn't want to.

But even the threat of being stuck here forever and dying here couldn't make Jensen really want to work when he was bored with it. Needing to do it just made him more bored.

What he actually wanted to do, to his own surprise, was see if there was anything left here of the Old Republic other than some fruiting plants. He hadn't noticed anything when he was coming in from space, but he hadn't been looking for it, either, so he might have missed something. He could scan for it now, though.

Nothing showed up though, even at the greatest lengths of the scanners. There was no evidence of any structures or machines. Nothing showed that anyone had ever lived here, even though someone had left plants and possibly animals or other life here. There were planets like that, though. Ones that had been seeded for various reasons and then never inhabited. A lot of that information had been lost in the fall of the Old Republic.

That was too bad, because if there had been something to find, that would have been interesting. And possibly helpful for getting out of here.

Jensen peeked outside again to see what the pirate was doing now. The fire had been put out, dirt piled over it, and the man was walking away toward the trees. Jensen decided to follow him. The pirate glanced back over his shoulder at one point and saw Jensen behind him but didn't slow, and Jensen hurried a little faster to catch up with the man just after he had stepped under the first trees. The pirate was looking up, scanning the tops of the trees as they went along.

Finally he stopped and pointed up, though Jensen couldn't figure out what exactly about the tree he was pointing to. Then the pirate started to scramble up it, holding on to the limbs and scrabbling against the trunk. As the pirate got higher there came a squawking noise and an animal launched itself away from the tree with a rapid flutter of wings to disappear in the distance, still squawking. Jensen moved around the side of the tree as the pirate circled it, continuing to watch the man's ascent in amazement.

Now he could see where the pirate was aiming: the tangle of leaves and sticks balanced atop one tree-limb that the animal had flown from.

The pirate crept out further along that limb, holding on to the one above it. Suddenly there was a snap and a crash and before Jensen could move out of the way, the tree-limb, the pirate, and the tangle with eggs inside it came down atop him.

There was pain all through his body, sore from being smashed into and scratched all over, and a sharper, stronger pain on his right thigh, where when he looked down Jensen could see blood flowing from a deeper cut. There was egg goo on him, too. The pirate rolled away, also bleeding from a scratch on his upper arm. He grabbed at the fallen limb and tugged it as Jensen shoved it off him.

Jensen stood up as quickly as possible to get off the ground and get his wounds away from the dirt. The motion and the weight on his leg made it hurt even more and he whimpered, trying to wipe the egg goo off himself and just getting it all over his hands as well. He was shaking from the suddenness of the event.

"Sorry, sorry," the pirate said. "Here, let me-"

Jensen ducked away from him. "Stay back, you've done enough already." All he wanted right now was to get back inside his ship. He started walking that way and stumbled, his leg unable to hold him up from the pain the steps caused. Jensen had never been injured before. Nothing had ever hurt like this. He didn't like it at all. His head was starting to feel fuzzy. The pirate came up on Jensen's left side, wrapping the hand of his uninjured arm around Jensen's elbow. Jensen tried to pull away again but almost fell over. So he let the pirate touch him and keep him steady as he walked.

"Okay, once we're inside I'll look at that," the pirate said.

"What are you going to do?" Jensen asked in annoyance. "Someone recently stole all my medical supplies." Maybe he was just going to bleed to death here on this planet now, killed by the pirate's clumsiness and desire to eat disgusting things.

The pirate shook his head and rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad. You'll be fine anyway."

They finally, after the longest trek of Jensen's life, reached the runabout and Jensen dropped down into the pilot's seat with relief, not caring that he was dripping blood all over it, and pulled off the boots. His head felt light, his leg was still causing him horrible pain, and most other parts of his body were filled with lesser pain, but at least he was inside where he felt safer and cleaner.

He watched through the pain haze as the pirate took off his shirt and poured a little bit of water over the cut on his arm, letting the water and blood run back into the recycler. Then the pirate took one of the sharp metal pieces Jensen had been utilizing for engineering and ripped the shirt into strips, wrapping one tightly around his cut. He turned back to Jensen and Jensen struggled the few steps to get there. He stood over the recycler and lifted aside the hem of his tunic while the pirate poured thankfully clean water over Jensen's cut.

That minor cleanliness would be entirely undone, though, if the pirate put a piece of his shirt over the wound as he seemed about to do. When Jensen lifted a hand to stay him the pirate raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have any suggestions other than this or just bleeding everywhere?"

Jensen supposed he didn't, so he let the pirate hand him a piece of shirt to wipe the egg goo off him while the man wrapped another piece tightly around Jensen's thigh. Jensen tried not to think how dirty the cloth must be by now.

It was actually shockingly easy to avoid that thought, and even to ignore the pain now, because Jensen was extremely distracted by the feel of the pirate's hands on him. The pirate's hands were sure and firm and his rough skin kept brushing against Jensen's. Jensen was suddenly aware of the proximity of the pirate's whole body, the warmth of him, the sound of his breathing. The pirate was bent over and Jensen was staring down at the stretch of his bare back.

The pirate tied the cloth shut and glanced up at Jensen. His fingers were still wrapped around the top of Jensen's thigh and Jensen felt his breath catch in his throat, his heart pound. The pirate gave a knowing smirk that only infuriated Jensen more.

He stood up now, his hands dragging Jensen's leg up around his waist, but his whole body pressed so close to Jensen's that Jensen didn't, couldn't stumble, even when his leg banged into the holster of the pirate's disruptor. Jensen tilted his face up to protest and then the pirate was kissing him, or he was kissing the pirate, he couldn't even tell.

It was unlike any kiss Jensen had ever experienced before. Not just because of the unpleasant taste of both their unwashed mouths, but because of everything that drove it. All Jensen's previous sexual encounters had been soft, lazy games, generally played in situations such as decadent parties designed to stimulate all the senses.

This kiss was harsh, furious, all sharp and biting.

Jensen didn't like the pirate at all. He wasn't even attracted to him. But somehow, his anger and annoyance and worry and hatred were mixing with the physical pain in his body and creating something that drove him on even more than desire or lust would have.

The pirate pulled back, his eyes dark and glittering, and opened his mouth to say something. Jensen didn't want to hear it, so he buried his hands in the pirate's hair and yanked him back in, using his tongue to keep any words from coming out.

Jensen was hard already, and he could feel that the pirate was, too.

The pirate knelt down, slipping Jensen's injured leg up over his shoulder, nuzzling at Jensen's other thigh and pulling aside the loincloth covering him under his tunic. Jensen gripped his left hand hard on the pirate's shoulder, nails digging into the skin and muscle, and slid the other along the hull to raise it above his head.

Up there the gravity quadrants were still unaligned from the work Jensen had been doing earlier. Higher on the hull the gravity pointed perpendicularly, toward the outside of the ship, so that what was the wall down here became the deck up there. Jensen let go of the pirate and grasped a strut with both hands, pulling himself up and along until his head and shoulders, then most of his upper body, felt like he was lying on the deck, while only his legs were dangling down a wall. The pirate rose up with him, hands under Jensen's buttocks and both of Jensen's legs over his shoulders now, until he was standing up, supporting Jensen.

Jensen gasped when the pirate swallowed him down deep.

It felt incredibly good. It was hard and fast, with the pirate licking and tightening his cheeks. The strange feel of the pirate's roughened hands on the delicate skin of his thighs, the harshness of the short hair around his mouth, just added to that. He kept knocking into the cut on Jensen's thigh and the sharp bursts of pain didn't seem to hurt anymore in this situation but only made Jensen shudder and moan more.

After a few moments Jensen sat up, leaning toward the pirate's head. He started to fall forward slowly as he slid between gravity quadrants, and the pirate began to lean backwards. The speed increased as Jensen retuned to the other section of gravity entirely, both of them crashing to the deck, Jensen on top of the pirate. This fall was more exciting than the other one had been. This time the slam of hitting the ground rushed through Jensen with a wave of pleasure.

The pirate quickly returned to sucking him and Jensen thrust down into his mouth. He could feel the motion of the man's arm against his leg now, tell he was jerking himself off, but frankly Jensen didn't care either way about that.

Despite that, only a moment later the pirate tensed underneath Jensen, hips pushing up sharply, mouth going slack as he came. He was shaking under Jensen's thighs, gasping as Jensen just kept thrusting regardless.

When Jensen came soon after his orgasm was explosive, an overwhelming jolt though his nerves and mind, as great as all the impacts of all the physical crashes he'd been through these past few cycles, smashing through him all at once. He slid off to the side, collapsing to the deck and adjusting his clothes back into place, body suddenly sore again as the pleasure slowly drained away.

The pirate licked his lips, glancing over at Jensen with some surprise, as if he didn't believe it ought to be over, didn't understand why Jensen had stopped. He reached out again and Jensen batted his hand away in annoyance, blinking confusedly at him through the haze in his brain.

That was when he saw the unfamiliar sticky white mess on the man's stomach and hand and realized what it must actually be.

Jensen had taken his contraceptive repressors, of course; everyone unmarried did so. But he should have guessed that a barbarian wouldn't have even the slightest sense of propriety in this area, either.

He shuddered and pulled away even more and the pirate drew his hand back and looked off to the side. The reality of what he had just done overwhelmed Jensen in a cold rush. That had been utterly foolish and inappropriate, and he couldn't even explain it to himself. He would certainly never be able to explain it to anyone else. Not that he would ever admit to it or tell anyone about it. That is if he ever got a chance to tell anyone about anything ever again.

Jensen lay on the deck a few moments more, not moving or speaking. He didn't know what to do now. He wanted to be alone; he wanted to tell the pirate how obnoxious he still found the man; he didn't want to say anything that might let the pirate think this had affected Jensen at all.

The pirate was quiet too and as the silence dragged on Jensen eventually decided he had to say something, do something, anything. Just as he started to sit up the pirate looked over.

The pox marks on his face shifted and crumpled with his grin, his crooked teeth sharp and feral, his eyes flashing with mocking mirth. "So I finally discovered something you're good for."

Jensen glowered. "That wasn't good."

The pirate leaned in closer and Jensen slid back again. "I think it was. I enjoyed it. And you clearly enjoyed it, too." The man's pants were still open and unfastened, his mess still covering his exposed crotch. Jensen glanced away, at the open hatch, feeling himself blush.

His distraction gave the pirate the chance to get even closer to him, though. He wrapped his fingers around Jensen's chin and pulled Jensen's head around, making him meet the pirate's eyes. Then he raised his other hand, licking his own sexual excretions off it.

"I know you look down on me," he continued, tongue darting out to catch the last speck of white from the corner of his lips. "But that was exactly what made it hot for you, wasn't it? The fact that you weren't supposed to do it. The twisted way it made you feel. You liked it all dirty and rough."

Jensen wanted to pull away but he couldn't move. It was the sad and shameful truth. "You have every single bit of that wrong," he lied, trying to sound as haughty as he could.

"Well, don't worry, Jensen. Now that we know, we can always do it again." The pirate smirked at him and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Jensen grabbed the man's wrist and finally pulled his head out of the pirate's grip. But he didn't, still couldn't, move away any further. The pirate leaned in closer and pushed Jensen down, settling on top of him.

Jensen felt his hips pulsing up automatically and the pirate's grin widened. Jensen's heart was racing and he was getting turned on again already as the pirate bent down and fastened his mouth on Jensen's neck, sucking sharply, the rough hairs around his mouth scratching Jensen's skin.

"I abhor you," Jensen said, trying not to whimper from the pleasure. He was still flushed with his anger and humiliation. It was like his body was running away on its own, leaving all his better judgment and standards behind.

The pirate bit down even harder and Jensen arched up into him. "Probably not half as much as I hate you," he whispered against Jensen's throat, then bit down again. Jensen scraped his nails hard down the pirate's bare back and let his legs drop open, the pirate's hips falling snugly into his.

Reaching down, the pirate loosened Jensen's loincloth between his legs and pushed his tunic up around his waist, then shoved his own pants down his thighs. He braced his hands by Jensen's head and rolled his hips down, his erection pressing into Jensen's, the cooling goop of his earlier orgasm rubbing everywhere. It was utterly disgusting and Jensen pushed up to meet it, closing his eyes and throwing his legs around the pirate's waist, each thrust knocking against the cut on his thigh.

Jensen slid a hand down between them, wrapping his fingers around both their erections and pulling hard. The pirate gasped and stuttered into his ear. "Then what?" Jensen asked, his voice shaking. "Do you just enjoy tormenting me?" Jensen gripped the pirate's upper arm with his other hand and dug into the wound there through the makeshift bandage.

The pirate thrust his hips down harder and bit Jensen's earlobe, gnawing and sucking. "I want to see you coming apart, laid low, just totally..." he whispered and trailed off.

"Defeated?" Jensen supplied breathlessly.

The pirate raised himself up, threading his fingers through Jensen's hair and pulling Jensen's head back hard. Jensen met his gaze. The pirate's eyes were narrowed and dark. He dug his teeth into his lower lip as he shook his head. Then he attacked Jensen's mouth, biting at Jensen's lips instead. Jensen crept his tongue into the pirate's mouth and the pirate sucked on it roughly before he pulled back. "Human," he said, rocking his hips down as Jensen continued tugging harshly. "Not so stuck up and self-righteously perfect."

Jensen's anger flared even higher. How dare this ruffian call him such things as that. "You're the one who's overly self-righteous, blast you," he growled. The pirate laughed.

"There's your dirty mouth."

Jensen twisted his fingers tighter around the pirate's erection and bit down himself now, hard on the pirate's shoulder. The pirate shuddered and groaned against him and came with a hot rush over Jensen's hand. Jensen felt vindicated for a moment and then he had to grimace as the substance dripped down onto his stomach.

But he rocked into it as the pirate reached down as well, rubbing his excretions along Jensen's erection, all wet and warm. To Jensen's horror that was what drove him over the edge of another shockingly intense orgasm.

He lay there panting and shaking, little aftershocks of pleasure trembling through his body, as the pirate stood up. The man picked up the last rag of his ripped-apart shirt and wiped himself off with it, dropping it on the deck near Jensen as he tucked himself away and fastened up his pants and then straightened up his hair.

"You would think there's nothing shameful in what I've done just now," the pirate said, his voice tight and raw. "I scored with a scion of a noble House. But..." He stopped and shook his head quickly. "Well, I'll just leave you here to think about what you've done." Then he disappeared outside.

Jensen waited, breathing slowly and deeply, trying to make the combination of pleasure, fury, and disgust flow away. When he finally stopped shaking he wiped himself off, feeling another rush of shame to need to use the pirate's dirty cloth again to do so. Then he put his clothes in order and hauled himself up into the pilot's seat.

He couldn't believe that he had just had sex with that horrible barbarian pirate. And not just once; no, he had even done it again a second time immediately afterward. Each time he thought he couldn't fall any further into unspeakable behavior he found some new way to do so.

The only thing he could do to lift himself up, to make some kind of penance for his actions and distract himself from thinking about them, was to continue his work on the ship.

Luckily that was enough to make Jensen's mind blank for hours as he worked. First he checked the oxygen membrane and found it growing back satisfactorily. It was over half repaired and in another few cycles would be completely restored to full health. Even if he were to take off into space now he would have enough oxygen, because it could support him as it grew from this point on, and working to supply him wouldn't hinder its progress.

Next he continued his efforts on the shields. They still needed some more work before he would actually be able to trust in them to hold together while leaving the atmosphere and gravity well of the planet. Even then they wouldn't be acceptable for hyperspace, but with the hyper drive dead, that was a moot point.

Unfortunately all too soon he was actually done with the shields. Now there was nothing to occupy and distract him. Well, no, there was one thing. He could put the pieces back in the solid matter recycler, though he would have to do some jury-rigging to get around the missing wires he had left in the gravity generator.

So Jensen replaced all the bits of metal that he had taken out of that recycler, hoping that he hadn't bent them out of shape or made them unusable. To test the machine he dumped the dirty pieces of cloth with his and the pirate's biological waste all over them inside.

The recycler worked.

And watching that piece of cloth disappear and become clean basic particles made Jensen feel so much more calm and content. Maybe his memory would do the same; maybe the experience itself would do the same.

Now that he was out of work, though, his hunger was reasserting itself.

Jensen was going to have to go outside again and face the pirate.

He was not going to repeat his mistake. He was not even going to acknowledge that anything had occurred. The pirate would surely want to rub it in Jensen's face but Jensen would show nothing. From now on, his behavior must be beyond reproach, no matter what the pirate did.

Jensen put on the unfortunate but necessary boots though he rejected the jacket again. He did not need the pirate to think him too beholden or weak. He took a long drink of water and filled the cup with more as another show of politeness.

Then he squared his shoulders, schooled his face into stillness, and exited the runabout.

The pirate was nowhere to be seen.

Jensen felt a rush of relief at his absence and also a sense of betrayal. The pirate was supposed to be there so that he could provide Jensen with food. If he was missing, where was he? How far had he gone? When would he return? Or would he return at all? There wasn't anywhere to go to on this planet, but the pirate might be perfectly fine just being nowhere. Maybe he had left Jensen entirely alone.

The solitude Jensen had thought he desired did not seem quite so appealing now.

He returned to the runabout, poured the water back into the recycler, and went to the instrument panel to scan for the pirate's life signs.

The pirate was actually not that far away, inside the trees down by the open water.

So Jensen began walking in the pirate's direction.

When he arrived he saw that the pirate had removed his clothing and was crouched in the shallow water, splashing it over himself. Jensen scowled. The pirate was clearly washing himself, though Jensen didn't believe that such dirty water would be effective to the purpose. And while he might indeed logically want to cleanse himself of his own mess the implication almost seemed to be that he believed contact with Jensen required him to wash. Jensen was insulted. He also desperately wished that he had access to adequate facilities so he could cleanse himself fully of his contact with the pirate, and the rest of this planet for that matter.

Unfortunately the pirate's clothes and disruptor were on the far side of the water, behind him and away from Jensen, so Jensen had no hope of getting to them and thus having an upper hand over the pirate.

The pirate looked up as Jensen approached. "Back for more?" he asked coldly.

Jensen couldn't stop himself from blushing again but resolved not to otherwise respond to that statement. He gazed at a tree behind the pirate rather than look at the man's nakedness. "I came looking for food," he said.

The pirate laughed harshly. "I suppose that even the most beautiful automaton needs to be refueled, though you must find such base needs to be very frustrating. Especially so when you find yourself relying on one such as me to fulfill them."

Jensen narrowed his eyes, imagining that the tree he was looking at might fall on the pirate and crush him. The tree remained standing, unaffected. It didn't appear to have any fruit, either, so it was not helping him in any fashion. "I will leave you to the privacy of your ablutions," he responded. He would stick to his resolution to not let the pirate disturb him. He turned and walked away, back toward the runabout.

He was not helpless. He could find his own food.

Now that the solid matter recycler was fixed, Jensen could just use it to synthesize basic nutrients from any material. But now he wanted to prove a point here. He wanted to show that he could succeed at surviving on this planet under a barbarian's standards.

So instead he used the ship's sensors to scan the surrounding area for edible plants. He found a number of them. There were also lots of small animals in the vicinity and Jensen was glad that none of them had turned out to be dangerous so far.

There was a stand of trees nearby that grew a type of nut Jensen really liked. Fairly close to that was a set of bushes that grew another good fruit. Jensen carefully noted the coordinates, the angle and distance from the runabout. Then he set off into the trees by himself.

It was mostly quiet, but he still didn't like the sound of the trees moving with the air. The occasional small sounds from animals worried him but none of them seemed to pose a threat or even make themselves visible. Clearly they were also nervous about him.

At one point Jensen had to push his way through a clump of scratchy plants that grew very close together, and he was glad that he had worn the jacket this time, because it protected his arms.

Finally he reached the place where the nut trees were. That was when he encountered a problem. There was no way he was even going to try to get up a tree like the pirate had. And the nuts all seemed to be very high up in the trees. Then Jensen examined the ones that had fallen from the trees onto the ground. They didn't look at all like what he was expecting. They were much larger and harder and had spikes all over them. If these were the nuts he was used to, then they must be contained inside that shell somewhere. And Jensen had no way to break through the shell out here. He tried stomping on one with the boots but that didn't do it. They were very hard indeed. Not that he would want to eat a nut he had stepped on, anyway.

If he could get them back to the ship he could probably open them there. They were very sharp, but he could fit a few inside the jacket pockets. He picked out a couple that seemed to be in good condition. They had been sitting on the ground, indeed, but he would pretend that the shells were keeping the nuts inside clean.

Then he went off to the side to find the fruit bushes. All the trees were very alike, so it took him a moment to figure out which direction he had originally come from before he moved around while looking at the nuts.

He found the bushes quickly, though. These fruits were not quite ripe, but Jensen was so hungry that he ate a few anyway. Then he took a few more back with him to have for later. And to show the pirate that he could do it.

Instead of going back via the nut trees, Jensen calculated the direction he would have to go to get back to the runabout. He had the image of the scans clearly in his mind, so it wasn't very difficult.

The way back seemed somehow longer than the way in, and since he was traveling a slightly different path and hadn't passed anything he recognized from the way in, he was beginning to worry that he had miscalculated, when he finally came out into the open area where his ship was.

Jensen felt very proud of himself for navigating the planet alone and acquiring his own food from deep inside the difficult growth of plants. It was quite an accomplishment. One he would prefer never to have been driven to, but still, something that would be very impressive if, or rather when, he got back to his House and could tell everyone of the dangers he had faced. Leaving out the embarrassing parts, of course.

When he got back the pirate was sitting in the hatch of the ship with it open as far as it would go. He was drinking water out of Jensen's cup and kicking his heels against the hull.

"I wasn't expecting you to go off anywhere," the pirate commented. "You didn't get eaten by some scary grass or anything?"

Jensen tried to ignore his offensive attitude. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And the most dangerous creature on this planet is you, to judge by my current wounds."

"It's just a little scratch." The pirate took another sip, glancing up at Jensen through his eyelashes over the edge of the cup.

Deciding to be magnanimous, Jensen handed him a piece of fruit.

The pirate examined it closely, as if he didn't believe that Jensen knew enough to pick something safe, and then took a bite. "Maybe you wouldn't just starve without servants like a worthless parasite," he said while chewing.

Jensen quashed his urge to respond to that, and instead just went inside, took off the jacket and boots, took the nuts out carefully, and set them down on the instrument panel. He was trying to think what he could use to cut or smash them open when the pirate came up behind him, picked one up, and jimmied the edge of his wrist communicator into a particular spot on the shell. The whole thing cracked open into two even pieces and the smaller nut Jensen was used to lay revealed there. Jensen picked it up and popped it in his mouth. It was good.

"And now you're back to having someone else do all the work," the pirate said.

"You could show me how," Jensen suggested. He didn't want the pirate to be able to say something such as that legitimately. Nor did he want a claim like that to have any truth to it in general.

The pirate gave Jensen a long look and then nodded. "This spot right here." He pointed to a tiny dot just barely visible in the tip of the shell where it was slightly uneven. The nuts were not perfect spheres. "You can even do it with a fingernail if they're ripe enough, but these are maybe just a little green for that."

Jensen got out one of his screwdriver and picked up a nut, wary of the spikes on it. He pressed the tip of the tool against the spot and the shell fell apart easily. He was pleased. He could do this. Contrary to what the pirate claimed, Jensen was very competent at a number of things, and he took pride in them. He didn't want to be useless or helpless. Though possibly the pleasure he was feeling at this accomplishment was greater than the proportion of it really warranted.

This second nut tasted much better than the first, though.

Jensen popped all the rest of them open and again generously gave a few to the pirate. Not that the pirate thanked him, despite all his talk of Jensen's ungratefulness. But Jensen wasn't going to let the pirate get to him, so he generously decided not to point that out.

When he was done eating Jensen found himself at loose ends again. He was suddenly acutely aware of the silence lying heavy between him and the pirate, the proximity of the man leaning against the other end of the instrument panel, the bare expanse of his chest and his long fingers idly twisting at the waistband of his pants, as if he didn't even realize he was doing it.

Jensen didn't want to risk saying anything to the pirate, but he also didn't want to risk letting the silence stretch on, not when it felt as if the air was getting thicker with each breath. He glanced around the familiar confines of the runabout, automatically inventorying every part in it, and he could feel the pirate's gaze on him now, like fingers against the back of his neck, making his shoulders rise.

"Maybe..." the pirate said, just the one word and then his voice drifted off. Jensen clamped his teeth shut to keep from asking for more, to keep from snapping at the pirate to shut up.

Just then the alarm that Jensen had rigged on the sensors sounded, indicating that a ship had come out of hyperspace within the system. Both Jensen and the pirate startled and jerked around. Jensen dropped down into the pilot's seat, heart pounding as he checked the instrument panel to see what ship it was.

It was a battle cruiser of his House.

The rush of relief caused him to wobble forward, dropping his hands to the panel dash to support himself. He was rescued, no longer at all captive. He would be going home in a few moments. He wasn't stuck on this planet anymore. He wasn't going to waste away to death here. He no longer had to worry about his responses to the pirate.

He was safe and all was right again. Jensen could put this whole thing behind him.

He was about to open a message in response to the hailing frequencies that were now reaching him when the pirate leaned forward into his vision. His face was blank as he glanced from Jensen to the readout on the instrument panel and back again.

"I guess that's that, then." The pirate loosened his disruptor from its holster and Jensen tensed in worry for a second before the pirate reached over and set it in Jensen's lap.

Jensen paused with his hand next to the transmit command. He didn't realize what he was about to say until he was already saying it. "Jared." Jensen watched the pirate's eyebrows rise in matching surprise. "If you come aboard I'll tell them to send you home. Whatever story I give, no one will question it."

The pirate's expression returned to neutral but his eyes were a little brighter and clearer. "Can't. There's an open warrant out for me."

Jensen felt a twinge of conscience knowing that he was releasing a wanted criminal, but in the current situation he suddenly couldn't do otherwise. "Then if I leave you here, they won't investigate the planet once I'm off it. You can tell me where to send a message for you."

The pirate grinned at him. "Or you could come back here. If you return shortly I'll take you to my world and no one will accost you."

Jensen knew he didn't have any time to decide. The request for a response was still pouring across the screen and the ship was coming closer to the planet. He nodded.

The pirate leaned down close and pressed his rough cheek against Jensen's. "I want to whisper more seditious ideas into your perfectly curved ear until you bend to all of my wicked whims." Jensen shivered from the soft warmth of his breath.

Before he could respond, the pirate snatched up his disruptor, jacket, and boots, stepped out of the ship, and walked away without looking back. Jensen watched until he had disappeared into the trees and then shut the hatch. He opened the communications channel and prepared for lift-off. He was going home.

For a little while.

***

Note: If you liked this enough to want more, I'm really thrilled. But please don't specifically ask for more, because that will just make me feel worse about my current inability to write. Thanks.