SPN and Marvel: things that are not really fic
Quacktain America and Iron Duck protect freedom in bed, made during the con_txt comics room party.
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Apparently I really, really like fic where Sam and Dean have to, for some case-related reason, pretend to be a couple. The only problem is that all such fics I've found end up being Wincest. I really want to read gen fic of this type. I toyed with writing it, but while I have elaborate scenarios in my head, I don't want to do the work of filling in between them to make them a real story. So here are my scenario snippets. I started off thinking of a haunted gay bar or club, but I have come up with something much better.
Sam and Dean end up on a gay cruise ship. Maybe it's haunted, maybe there's some oceanic supernatural monster somewhere, whatever. All I do know is, Sam was doing the research, and he was aware it was a gay cruise ship, but Dean wasn't - he tuned it out, Sam didn't mention it, something. So they get on the ship and they go to the cabin, and Dean is like, man, this is the tiniest room I've ever stayed in, how much did we pay for it? Sam is all, it's a CABIN, Dean, and we didn't pay anything because fake credit cards, remember? (This totally happens in no-particular-time-just-that-they-are-not-as-angsty-as-current-canon fanfic land timezone.) I mean, have you guys seen cruise ship cabins? Miniscule. So then Dean is like, fine, I'm going to the buffet, because dude, he did not tune out the part about 24 HOUR ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. So he heads to the buffet and is filling his plate with little mini-sandwiches and mini-quiches and whatnot, and some guy gropes his ass, and Dean gives him a little glare, and that is when Dean notices that, hey, wait, the rainbow ribbons hanging on the fake palm trees in the lounge, the disco music, the flaming men making out on the deck, the lack of women… It all adds up.
He takes his food back to the room I mean cabin, and kinda leans in where Sam is doing research, all, Sammy, is there something you forgot to mention to me?
Um, says Sam. It's a gay cruise?
And where are the hot lesbians?
Probably on the lesbian cruise.
Damn it, Sam!
Then Dean consoles himself that maybe at least this means he can bat his eyelashes while playing poker in the casino and win more money.
Of course they have to go to dinner and they are assigned to sit with some other guys, two other couples, and they ask where they met, and Sam starts giving some answer about a film festival or something, all totally not caring that Dean is glaring at him more, and there is one-up-manship and ante-upping pet names and all kinds of silly stuff with pinching under the table and yes, awesome.
Then some scenes of Dean, like, taking advantage of the casino and the gym and the sundeck and the massages in the spa (and then being dismayed at the lack of hot chick masseuses and how he is getting a massage from a man) and the BUFFET did we mention it is 24 HOURS ALL YOU CAN EAT ALL THE TIME FOOD FOOD FOOD.
Then they hit a big storm and of course Dean gets seasick and Sam laughs at him a lot.
After the storm is over Dean is all sitting out on the deck by the pool soaking up the sun and he is lying there on his back la la la when Sam plops down on his stomach on the deck chair next to Dean. So of course Dean is evil and gets back at Sam by sitting on top of him and putting more sunscreen on him and calling him baby and talking about oiling him up and stuff, and Sam cannot complain and blow their cover any more than Dean could earlier.
Then later some guy is hitting on Sam and so Dean comes over and is all touchy and possessive and drives the guy away and Sam glares at Dean who is like, hey, no one else is allowed to touch my bitch.
Various things of that sort continue to occur.
And probably somewhere in there they solve the case and save some people.
Then they traipse merrily off the ship and go on with their lives without having any big Wincesty epiphany amen. The readers get lots of laughs and there are hot scenes and it is great.
Plz write this for me. Make it a very very cheesy gay cruise ship and make Sam and Dean bicker a lot and be dumb and make them touch and stuff. Also save people. Plz? Or else I will just continue to imagine it for myself.
Because I continue to think that it's hotter when they aren't having sex. Mmm, things like the sunscreen scene totally only work when it's teasing, and would be dumb if they meant it.
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Apparently I really, really like fic where Sam and Dean have to, for some case-related reason, pretend to be a couple. The only problem is that all such fics I've found end up being Wincest. I really want to read gen fic of this type. I toyed with writing it, but while I have elaborate scenarios in my head, I don't want to do the work of filling in between them to make them a real story. So here are my scenario snippets. I started off thinking of a haunted gay bar or club, but I have come up with something much better.
Sam and Dean end up on a gay cruise ship. Maybe it's haunted, maybe there's some oceanic supernatural monster somewhere, whatever. All I do know is, Sam was doing the research, and he was aware it was a gay cruise ship, but Dean wasn't - he tuned it out, Sam didn't mention it, something. So they get on the ship and they go to the cabin, and Dean is like, man, this is the tiniest room I've ever stayed in, how much did we pay for it? Sam is all, it's a CABIN, Dean, and we didn't pay anything because fake credit cards, remember? (This totally happens in no-particular-time-just-that-they-are-not-as-angsty-as-current-canon fanfic land timezone.) I mean, have you guys seen cruise ship cabins? Miniscule. So then Dean is like, fine, I'm going to the buffet, because dude, he did not tune out the part about 24 HOUR ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. So he heads to the buffet and is filling his plate with little mini-sandwiches and mini-quiches and whatnot, and some guy gropes his ass, and Dean gives him a little glare, and that is when Dean notices that, hey, wait, the rainbow ribbons hanging on the fake palm trees in the lounge, the disco music, the flaming men making out on the deck, the lack of women… It all adds up.
He takes his food back to the room I mean cabin, and kinda leans in where Sam is doing research, all, Sammy, is there something you forgot to mention to me?
Um, says Sam. It's a gay cruise?
And where are the hot lesbians?
Probably on the lesbian cruise.
Damn it, Sam!
Then Dean consoles himself that maybe at least this means he can bat his eyelashes while playing poker in the casino and win more money.
Of course they have to go to dinner and they are assigned to sit with some other guys, two other couples, and they ask where they met, and Sam starts giving some answer about a film festival or something, all totally not caring that Dean is glaring at him more, and there is one-up-manship and ante-upping pet names and all kinds of silly stuff with pinching under the table and yes, awesome.
Then some scenes of Dean, like, taking advantage of the casino and the gym and the sundeck and the massages in the spa (and then being dismayed at the lack of hot chick masseuses and how he is getting a massage from a man) and the BUFFET did we mention it is 24 HOURS ALL YOU CAN EAT ALL THE TIME FOOD FOOD FOOD.
Then they hit a big storm and of course Dean gets seasick and Sam laughs at him a lot.
After the storm is over Dean is all sitting out on the deck by the pool soaking up the sun and he is lying there on his back la la la when Sam plops down on his stomach on the deck chair next to Dean. So of course Dean is evil and gets back at Sam by sitting on top of him and putting more sunscreen on him and calling him baby and talking about oiling him up and stuff, and Sam cannot complain and blow their cover any more than Dean could earlier.
Then later some guy is hitting on Sam and so Dean comes over and is all touchy and possessive and drives the guy away and Sam glares at Dean who is like, hey, no one else is allowed to touch my bitch.
Various things of that sort continue to occur.
And probably somewhere in there they solve the case and save some people.
Then they traipse merrily off the ship and go on with their lives without having any big Wincesty epiphany amen. The readers get lots of laughs and there are hot scenes and it is great.
Plz write this for me. Make it a very very cheesy gay cruise ship and make Sam and Dean bicker a lot and be dumb and make them touch and stuff. Also save people. Plz? Or else I will just continue to imagine it for myself.
Because I continue to think that it's hotter when they aren't having sex. Mmm, things like the sunscreen scene totally only work when it's teasing, and would be dumb if they meant it.