goodbye to you, heart.
i do not believe i have ever hurt so much in my life.
this will take a while to get used to.
and im so scared for my next relationship. the next time in a relationship that i might feel that whole "everythign is different this time. its so open and we talk about every little thign that bothers us." no. i WILL have doubts. even more then i had this time.
we had everythign so perfect. and it changed. within 12 hours. we were so open. and...perfect. i thoguht everything was different.
but apparently not.
im most definatley going on a guy strike for a very long. long. long time.
i look around and nothign to make me stop thinking about what we had.
what hurts even more is that the day before eveything was perfect. and he even said it.
people wonder why i have no faith in my relationships and have a fear that it could end any day. he told me not to live in my past and think like that. but it happened.
yeah sure...i know. theres a guy out there. blah blah blah.
but everytime we saw each other, i fell harder. even the night we called things off...he said a few things that made me fall even harder.
i big protion of my heart is missing right now. a big portion of my life. the best thing in my life so far has just been ripped from me.
i do not believe i can accept anything less ina relationship from now on. and that is a whole hell of alot to live up to. i have experienced something REAL this time...but its gone.
and im SO. SOPRRY. zach. god i am SO. SORRY.
damn.
i do not believe i have ever hurt so much in my life.
honestley and truly i believe this.
this will take a while to get used to.
and im so scared for my next relationship. the next time in a relationship that i might feel that whole "everythign is different this time. its so open and we talk about every little thign that bothers us." no. i WILL have doubts. even more then i had this time.
we had everythign so perfect. and it changed. within 12 hours. we were so open. and...perfect. i thoguht everything was different.
but apparently not.
im most definatley going on a guy strike for a very long. long. long time.
i look around and nothign to make me stop thinking about what we had.
what hurts even more is that the day before eveything was perfect. and he even said it.
people wonder why i have no faith in my relationships and have a fear that it could end any day. he told me not to live in my past and think like that. but it happened.
yeah sure...i know. theres a guy out there. blah blah blah.
but everytime we saw each other, i fell harder. even the night we called things off...he said a few things that made me fall even harder.
i big protion of my heart is missing right now. a big portion of my life. the best thing in my life so far has just been ripped from me.
i do not believe i can accept anything less ina relationship from now on. and that is a whole hell of alot to live up to. i have experienced something REAL this time...but its gone.
and im SO. SOPRRY. zach. god i am SO. SORRY.
damn.
i do not believe i have ever hurt so much in my life.
honestley and truly i believe this.