motion sensor
the more i think about it, the more i feel like i've stagnated for four and a half years. i reread some of my old blog entries from high school, and spotted minimal differences between the contents of my older blogs and some of my current thoughts. the process of writing itself has instead become an increasingly more difficult task; i've learned to become more critical of my writing, but haven't learned to write more precisely or more eloquently, resulting in increased dissatisfaction and decreased production.
i've also become a much more passive learner. most people sell the college experience as the surpassing of mental boundaries, pushing against presets from your background, w/e. for me, i've merely defined my own, learning how to get through the system so i can get an important sheet of paper to signify some level of accomplishment. that's not to say i don't value the importance of a college degree, but i don't think the system itself shares the same values i do. such is the result of frequent collisions with college of l&s. that said, i'm finally graduating with two degrees i won't find jobs in! should've just stuck with humanities to begin with instead of fucking myself over every semester until this one.
this entry probably comes off as insanely bitter, but i'm not here to say that college sucks; merely that i have failed to achieve what is supposedly the 'goal' of it. even so, being dependent on the selection of readings chosen by my professor has given me the fortune to have awesome professors who chose readings i wouldn't have ever selected for myself, which will just have to overcome my own guilt at my lack of extracurricular book-reading. even if isn't really, i'm glad to have met everyone that i did in college.
i've undeniably done a poor job of cataloging myself over the past few years, but i can't really claim any good reasons to explain why. i promised shenyang nvhai i would do better, so here goes step one...
i've also become a much more passive learner. most people sell the college experience as the surpassing of mental boundaries, pushing against presets from your background, w/e. for me, i've merely defined my own, learning how to get through the system so i can get an important sheet of paper to signify some level of accomplishment. that's not to say i don't value the importance of a college degree, but i don't think the system itself shares the same values i do. such is the result of frequent collisions with college of l&s. that said, i'm finally graduating with two degrees i won't find jobs in! should've just stuck with humanities to begin with instead of fucking myself over every semester until this one.
this entry probably comes off as insanely bitter, but i'm not here to say that college sucks; merely that i have failed to achieve what is supposedly the 'goal' of it. even so, being dependent on the selection of readings chosen by my professor has given me the fortune to have awesome professors who chose readings i wouldn't have ever selected for myself, which will just have to overcome my own guilt at my lack of extracurricular book-reading. even if isn't really, i'm glad to have met everyone that i did in college.
i've undeniably done a poor job of cataloging myself over the past few years, but i can't really claim any good reasons to explain why. i promised shenyang nvhai i would do better, so here goes step one...