Is This Fixable? (2/5)
Title: Is This Fixable? (2/5)
Author: Chwitchety
Rating: M
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: I dont own or have anything to do with Grey's nor do I profit from this. Pablo Neruda is such a great poet and I have nothing but respect for his poetry.
Summary: Callie deals with her first meeting with Arizona since she has returned.
A/N: So I aquiesced to requested to continue on with a resolution to this fic. I have always wanted to add in a poetry handle, so this is part one of a Pablo Neruda series of poems.
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~ I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You ~
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
my heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
~ Pablo Neruda ~
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Taking a shaky breath, Callie steadied her emotion for the short walk to the female bathroom. She kept her eyes down where the wall met the floor for the entirety of the journey, for fear someone might notice her. Or worse, speak to her.
Reaching the bathroom and ascertaining its emptiness, Callie dumped the half eaten salad in its plastic container into the bin. Pointedly averting her gaze from the mirror, she made her way into one of the cubicles and locked the door behind her.
Sitting heavily down on the toilet lid, Callie sighed deeply. She had felt like crying, but having to hold tears in for the short shuffle down the busy corridor had dissipated the immediate shock of Arizona’s barbed comment.
“Fucking Mark Sloan, more like it.”
Callie swallowed painfully. The words were echoing around her brain, sending sharp jabs of emotion through her heart.
She rubbed her forehead intently, before resting her elbow on her leg and pincering the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger.
It wasn’t only that.
Ever since Callie had heard of Arizona’s return, she had been on edge. When Arizona had first left, Callie had been desperate, forgiving, regretful and full of apology. By the time Arizona had arrived in Africa, she was fairly certain she would have checked her phone to find her voice mail full. Callie really never did have any pride when it came to love. Career, health, money, opportunities and prospects were all a bonus, all just extra benefits, which paled in comparison to the sublime and insatiable feeling of loving, of being loved. Cristina had laughed at her hardly ever being single. In truth, Callie could barely look in the mirror these days.
Arizona had left her. She hadn’t answered her voice mail. She hadn’t answered her email. The phone would ring out when Callie called. The one time she had called the hospital Arizona was based at, the administration had cordially informed her that Arizona ‘was not in at the moment’ and ‘could they take a message’. Callie had declined. The vague hope she had that Arizona was simply run off her feet and too busy to return her messages was blown out of the water the following week by Teddy confirming Callie’s suspicion that they were in contact. She didn’t think her heart could sink any lower, but she clung to the information, that Arizona hadn’t even mentioned her, like a masochist in the wretched hope that this new knowledge would help her push Arizona Robbins out of her brain. She would grasp the information like a weeping wound in the night, desperate to escape the revolving images and memories, hopeful to find ever elusive sleep.
That was just over three months ago. Two weeks of torture after Arizona had gone, Callie had slept with Mark. His rough beard had tickled her face in not an entirely unpleasant way, both disgusting and pleasing her that it was so different to Arizona.
Arizona.
That had been all she could think about before, during and after. She had thought, like the understanding that Arizona had cut her out of her life completely, that it would help her forget and move on.
It just made her hate herself more.
She found herself starting to get irritated at Mark for the slightest things - for pouring the wrong amount of milk in her coffee, for being so goddamn freaking obsessively health-wise in his eating habits, for…for not being Arizona. It was unfair, she knew. After that first night, she found herself subconsciously pushing him away and archly reacting to him. Callie loathed herself for it, and found herself more and more often in his bed attempting to recreate their connection she felt slipping through her fingers.
Sitting back upright on the toilet, Callie rested backwards, her head lolling to the ceiling.
Three months gone, and last Wednesday Teddy had cautiously sidled up to her at a nurse’s station and informed her that Arizona would be back in town by the weekend. She hadn’t mentioned exactly why Arizona would be back, only that she would be reprising her job as Head of Paediatrics immediately on the Monday as organized by Chief Webber. That meant that Arizona was back for good.
Didn’t it?
Callie had been shocked and nervous. Why was she back? She knew Arizona would try to speak with her, but didn’t want to be caught off guard whenever Arizona decided to show up, prepared with one of her logical speeches. She didn’t know what to expect. As the days had crept closer and closer to the Saturday flight Teddy had told her about, Callie felt inordinate anger at both herself and Arizona. The fact that Arizona had treated her as such, and the fact that she found herself, though incredibly hurt, so willing to forgive. Had she learnt nothing from after-school specials? Taking back someone who hurt you, simply because you loved them never turned out well.
Callie Torres was not going to be taken for a fool. She hated Arizona.
And yet…
Callie sighed again before standing up in the cubicle and wiping any potential running mascara from under dry eyes.
She had been a bitch and Arizona had taken the bait and Callie was infuriated at herself for allowing her ‘Plan A: Being calm and collected’ to backfire so readily. Now Arizona would know for sure that she was sleeping with Mark. Now Arizona would know for sure she was in a bad place. Her little attempt at charade had all but screamed out at Arizona, ‘I’m not over you. Not one bit.’
Shaking her head and raising her eyes to the heavens, Callie unlocked and stepped out of the cubicle to the still empty bathroom. Two swift steps towards the mirror, Callie focused on the unstained cheeks. Satisfied, she suffocated the thoughts of Arizona - of what she had said, of the gorgeous, now tanned, skin that emphasized her impossibly blue eyes and soft blonde hair, of her smell that was still intoxicating Callie even as she stood - and left with a renewed vigour to continue her day.
Looking at cheeks was one thing, seeing dead, dull eyes was quite another.
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Callie was glad Mark was on call tonight.
She had heard about the fire at Costa’s Italian, which meant Mark was probably not going to be home for a while. She knew she shouldn’t be, but she was entirely thankful to the fire that would keep Mark busy. Callie wanted to lie down and process her day. Think about her next move.
Reaching the door to the apartment, she bristled at the aura of the ever-present door behind her. The door to their old apartment. It was beyond her why she did this to herself. She could have been reasonably happy living at the hotel, not sleeping with Mark and healthily getting over losing the love of her life, but no. Callie Torres was an all or nothing kinda gal. If she was going to subtly go off the rails it would be by living across the hall from a constant reminder of her ex and what they had lost, and by sleeping with her best friend and losing him gradually through hating them both for doing so.
Shrugging off the stifling presence, Callie entered Mark’s apartment. She chucked her handbag onto the floor and flopped onto the makeshift sofa bed.
It was times like this she was grateful she was in Mark’s apartment and not her old apartment.
If she was at her old apartment, she might have flopped down on her own sofa, and that would have triggered memories of Arizona. Thankfully she was on Mark’s sofa, so she wouldn’t have memories of Arizona. Memories, of Arizona, like, for example, the last time Callie had flopped down on her sofa in her old apartment. Thank god she wouldn’t have memories like that.
It had been two days before Arizona had found out about the Carter-Madison Grant. They had both managed to finish at the same time for a change and had walked home, hand-in-hand.
Callie had been particularly exhausted that day after 4 hip replacements and a clinic. She had been running at least an hour late, which was why Arizona had found her unexpectedly in the change room at 6pm sitting on the bench and messaging on her phone.
“I was just about to text you! I finished late so I thought I’d wait ten minutes and walk you home.”
Arizona grinned.
“Are you gonna carry my books for me?”
“Depends. Are we going steady?”
Opening her locker and pulling out her casuals, Arizona slipped her scrub pants off, eyes twinkling as she watched Callie’s gaze follow their progress.
“Oh, I think I’d say we are.”
As Arizona pulled her jeans into place, Callie looked back at her girlfriend’s face and shrugged her shoulders.
“Well, no then.”
“No?” Arizona pulled her scrub top off to slip on her shirt and jumper.
“If we’re going steady already, then I don’t need to score points, right?”
Adjusting the jumper, Arizona looked wryly at Callie.
“Don’t push your luck, beautiful.”
“I’m real tired.”
Grabbing her bag and locking the locker behind her, Arizona reached out her hand to her girlfriend, indulgent look on her face.
“Come on, Whiney McPoser. Let’s go home.”
The evening had been pleasant and the company had been pleasanter. Callie was glad Cristina had moved out recently, as even she figured that their PDA was in the sickeningly sweet zone. Arriving at their apartment door, Callie had reached for her key as Arizona’s hand gently slid onto the small of her back. She loved it how Arizona would often and non-consciously be in contact with her. The hand on her back felt warm and full of deep affection, a gesture full of love that made Callie’s spine tingle.
Entering the apartment, Callie chucked her handbag on the coffee table and flopped onto the couch on her stomach with a groan.
“I am so, so tired.”
Arizona laughed at her girlfriend’s antics as she placed her bag on the kitchen counter before walking over to the couch.
“Poor, poor baby,” she pouted as she patted the backs of Callie’s ankles.
Callie flicked one of her ankles ineffectually in Arizona’s direction in annoyance. Arizona’s eyes gleamed at the challenge.
Before Callie had time to respond, Arizona had climbed on top of her girlfriend, her head on Callie’s lower neck, body against body. Callie let out a strained groan.
“Oh my god, get off me you great lump.”
At Callie’s dismay, Arizona began to giggle lightly. The giggles, however, were shaking her body and pushing Callie even more uncomfortably into the sofa.
“Oh my god!” Callie groaned again, as Arizona’s body above her began to shake uncontrollably with mirth. Hearing her giggles, Callie began to laugh, which only compounded the problem of Arizona’s weight on her and just caused Arizona to laugh louder.
“Right.”
Still laughing, but managing to find strength in her boneless body, Callie attempted to push her body off the couch with her arms. Arizona, realizing what was happening, quickly poked her hands into Callie’s sides startling her effort and causing her to exhale quickly. Arizona continued to giggle as Callie fell back to the sofa with a whumpf and a groan.
“Ow!” Callie’s tone was suddenly distressed. “Omigod Ow!”
Arizona quickly got off her girlfriend and knelt beside the sofa peering at her girlfriend’s covered face as she slowly sat up clutching her shoulder.
“Callie? I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”
Callie’s pain-ridden face instantaneously changed into a shit-eating grin.
“You are so easy.”
Exasperated, but relieved Callie was unharmed, Arizona stood and slapped her on the upper arm playfully. Callie’s hand shot up to grasp where her hit had landed, indignantly.
“Domestic Abuse!”
Arizona began to laugh again.
“You idiot. I thought you were hurt.”
She straddled Callie’s lap and placed her hands around her neck. Callie’s hands automatically found their way to Arizona’s hips as she gazed up to her girlfriend and pouted.
“I could report you, y’know.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
Callie sensed the change in mood of her partner. She could feel Arizona’s breath on her face and felt her body echo her girlfriend’s arousal as she inhaled her exhales. Arizona’s eyes dropped to her lips and Callie smiled as her own gaze did the same. She lived for moments like these, were it felt like her and Arizona were the only people in the world - breathing, thinking and hearts beating as one.
Her lips were soft as they both melded together, progressing to a rhythmic exploration. Callie felt heady at Arizona’s control of the kiss and her hands shifted from her hips to the front of her jeans, fingers fumbling at the button and zip. She could feel Arizona’s smile against her lips.
“I thought you were so, so tired?”
Arizona’s hips rolled into Callie, stilling any smart-alec response she may or may not have had in her head.
The feeling of love was so unbearably sweet, it made Callie’s heart hurt.
Goddammit.
Goddammit. Goddammit. Goddammit.
Callie was drawn back to the present as a singular tear escaped and tracked over the bridge of her nose to plop onto the sheet covering the sofa cushion below.
It was so good she was at Mark’s because she wouldn’t have memories of Arizona like that. She definitely wouldn’t have that particular memory of Arizona every time she had to lay down on Mark’s sofa, so similar to her own. She barely thought of Arizona these days, really.
Goddammit.
Now she felt uncomfortably horny. Especially after actually seeing Arizona today, Callie’s senses had been reawakened by the familiar smell.
Usually if she felt like this, she would get up and find Mark. Sleeping with him was often a hit or miss situation. Sometimes it relieved her frustration, sometimes it made it worse. Either way, tonight, Callie didn’t feel like sleeping with Mark. Something about Arizona’s presence had affected her and Callie was just frustrated, sad and confused. She felt her anger build towards Arizona.
If Arizona didn’t want to have anything to do with Callie, then why the fuck didn’t she stay the hell out of her life? Callie hated her. She hated, hated, hated her.
Except because she loved her.
Author: Chwitchety
Rating: M
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer: I dont own or have anything to do with Grey's nor do I profit from this. Pablo Neruda is such a great poet and I have nothing but respect for his poetry.
Summary: Callie deals with her first meeting with Arizona since she has returned.
A/N: So I aquiesced to requested to continue on with a resolution to this fic. I have always wanted to add in a poetry handle, so this is part one of a Pablo Neruda series of poems.
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~ I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You ~
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
my heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
~ Pablo Neruda ~
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Taking a shaky breath, Callie steadied her emotion for the short walk to the female bathroom. She kept her eyes down where the wall met the floor for the entirety of the journey, for fear someone might notice her. Or worse, speak to her.
Reaching the bathroom and ascertaining its emptiness, Callie dumped the half eaten salad in its plastic container into the bin. Pointedly averting her gaze from the mirror, she made her way into one of the cubicles and locked the door behind her.
Sitting heavily down on the toilet lid, Callie sighed deeply. She had felt like crying, but having to hold tears in for the short shuffle down the busy corridor had dissipated the immediate shock of Arizona’s barbed comment.
“Fucking Mark Sloan, more like it.”
Callie swallowed painfully. The words were echoing around her brain, sending sharp jabs of emotion through her heart.
She rubbed her forehead intently, before resting her elbow on her leg and pincering the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger.
It wasn’t only that.
Ever since Callie had heard of Arizona’s return, she had been on edge. When Arizona had first left, Callie had been desperate, forgiving, regretful and full of apology. By the time Arizona had arrived in Africa, she was fairly certain she would have checked her phone to find her voice mail full. Callie really never did have any pride when it came to love. Career, health, money, opportunities and prospects were all a bonus, all just extra benefits, which paled in comparison to the sublime and insatiable feeling of loving, of being loved. Cristina had laughed at her hardly ever being single. In truth, Callie could barely look in the mirror these days.
Arizona had left her. She hadn’t answered her voice mail. She hadn’t answered her email. The phone would ring out when Callie called. The one time she had called the hospital Arizona was based at, the administration had cordially informed her that Arizona ‘was not in at the moment’ and ‘could they take a message’. Callie had declined. The vague hope she had that Arizona was simply run off her feet and too busy to return her messages was blown out of the water the following week by Teddy confirming Callie’s suspicion that they were in contact. She didn’t think her heart could sink any lower, but she clung to the information, that Arizona hadn’t even mentioned her, like a masochist in the wretched hope that this new knowledge would help her push Arizona Robbins out of her brain. She would grasp the information like a weeping wound in the night, desperate to escape the revolving images and memories, hopeful to find ever elusive sleep.
That was just over three months ago. Two weeks of torture after Arizona had gone, Callie had slept with Mark. His rough beard had tickled her face in not an entirely unpleasant way, both disgusting and pleasing her that it was so different to Arizona.
Arizona.
That had been all she could think about before, during and after. She had thought, like the understanding that Arizona had cut her out of her life completely, that it would help her forget and move on.
It just made her hate herself more.
She found herself starting to get irritated at Mark for the slightest things - for pouring the wrong amount of milk in her coffee, for being so goddamn freaking obsessively health-wise in his eating habits, for…for not being Arizona. It was unfair, she knew. After that first night, she found herself subconsciously pushing him away and archly reacting to him. Callie loathed herself for it, and found herself more and more often in his bed attempting to recreate their connection she felt slipping through her fingers.
Sitting back upright on the toilet, Callie rested backwards, her head lolling to the ceiling.
Three months gone, and last Wednesday Teddy had cautiously sidled up to her at a nurse’s station and informed her that Arizona would be back in town by the weekend. She hadn’t mentioned exactly why Arizona would be back, only that she would be reprising her job as Head of Paediatrics immediately on the Monday as organized by Chief Webber. That meant that Arizona was back for good.
Didn’t it?
Callie had been shocked and nervous. Why was she back? She knew Arizona would try to speak with her, but didn’t want to be caught off guard whenever Arizona decided to show up, prepared with one of her logical speeches. She didn’t know what to expect. As the days had crept closer and closer to the Saturday flight Teddy had told her about, Callie felt inordinate anger at both herself and Arizona. The fact that Arizona had treated her as such, and the fact that she found herself, though incredibly hurt, so willing to forgive. Had she learnt nothing from after-school specials? Taking back someone who hurt you, simply because you loved them never turned out well.
Callie Torres was not going to be taken for a fool. She hated Arizona.
And yet…
Callie sighed again before standing up in the cubicle and wiping any potential running mascara from under dry eyes.
She had been a bitch and Arizona had taken the bait and Callie was infuriated at herself for allowing her ‘Plan A: Being calm and collected’ to backfire so readily. Now Arizona would know for sure that she was sleeping with Mark. Now Arizona would know for sure she was in a bad place. Her little attempt at charade had all but screamed out at Arizona, ‘I’m not over you. Not one bit.’
Shaking her head and raising her eyes to the heavens, Callie unlocked and stepped out of the cubicle to the still empty bathroom. Two swift steps towards the mirror, Callie focused on the unstained cheeks. Satisfied, she suffocated the thoughts of Arizona - of what she had said, of the gorgeous, now tanned, skin that emphasized her impossibly blue eyes and soft blonde hair, of her smell that was still intoxicating Callie even as she stood - and left with a renewed vigour to continue her day.
Looking at cheeks was one thing, seeing dead, dull eyes was quite another.
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Callie was glad Mark was on call tonight.
She had heard about the fire at Costa’s Italian, which meant Mark was probably not going to be home for a while. She knew she shouldn’t be, but she was entirely thankful to the fire that would keep Mark busy. Callie wanted to lie down and process her day. Think about her next move.
Reaching the door to the apartment, she bristled at the aura of the ever-present door behind her. The door to their old apartment. It was beyond her why she did this to herself. She could have been reasonably happy living at the hotel, not sleeping with Mark and healthily getting over losing the love of her life, but no. Callie Torres was an all or nothing kinda gal. If she was going to subtly go off the rails it would be by living across the hall from a constant reminder of her ex and what they had lost, and by sleeping with her best friend and losing him gradually through hating them both for doing so.
Shrugging off the stifling presence, Callie entered Mark’s apartment. She chucked her handbag onto the floor and flopped onto the makeshift sofa bed.
It was times like this she was grateful she was in Mark’s apartment and not her old apartment.
If she was at her old apartment, she might have flopped down on her own sofa, and that would have triggered memories of Arizona. Thankfully she was on Mark’s sofa, so she wouldn’t have memories of Arizona. Memories, of Arizona, like, for example, the last time Callie had flopped down on her sofa in her old apartment. Thank god she wouldn’t have memories like that.
It had been two days before Arizona had found out about the Carter-Madison Grant. They had both managed to finish at the same time for a change and had walked home, hand-in-hand.
Callie had been particularly exhausted that day after 4 hip replacements and a clinic. She had been running at least an hour late, which was why Arizona had found her unexpectedly in the change room at 6pm sitting on the bench and messaging on her phone.
“I was just about to text you! I finished late so I thought I’d wait ten minutes and walk you home.”
Arizona grinned.
“Are you gonna carry my books for me?”
“Depends. Are we going steady?”
Opening her locker and pulling out her casuals, Arizona slipped her scrub pants off, eyes twinkling as she watched Callie’s gaze follow their progress.
“Oh, I think I’d say we are.”
As Arizona pulled her jeans into place, Callie looked back at her girlfriend’s face and shrugged her shoulders.
“Well, no then.”
“No?” Arizona pulled her scrub top off to slip on her shirt and jumper.
“If we’re going steady already, then I don’t need to score points, right?”
Adjusting the jumper, Arizona looked wryly at Callie.
“Don’t push your luck, beautiful.”
“I’m real tired.”
Grabbing her bag and locking the locker behind her, Arizona reached out her hand to her girlfriend, indulgent look on her face.
“Come on, Whiney McPoser. Let’s go home.”
The evening had been pleasant and the company had been pleasanter. Callie was glad Cristina had moved out recently, as even she figured that their PDA was in the sickeningly sweet zone. Arriving at their apartment door, Callie had reached for her key as Arizona’s hand gently slid onto the small of her back. She loved it how Arizona would often and non-consciously be in contact with her. The hand on her back felt warm and full of deep affection, a gesture full of love that made Callie’s spine tingle.
Entering the apartment, Callie chucked her handbag on the coffee table and flopped onto the couch on her stomach with a groan.
“I am so, so tired.”
Arizona laughed at her girlfriend’s antics as she placed her bag on the kitchen counter before walking over to the couch.
“Poor, poor baby,” she pouted as she patted the backs of Callie’s ankles.
Callie flicked one of her ankles ineffectually in Arizona’s direction in annoyance. Arizona’s eyes gleamed at the challenge.
Before Callie had time to respond, Arizona had climbed on top of her girlfriend, her head on Callie’s lower neck, body against body. Callie let out a strained groan.
“Oh my god, get off me you great lump.”
At Callie’s dismay, Arizona began to giggle lightly. The giggles, however, were shaking her body and pushing Callie even more uncomfortably into the sofa.
“Oh my god!” Callie groaned again, as Arizona’s body above her began to shake uncontrollably with mirth. Hearing her giggles, Callie began to laugh, which only compounded the problem of Arizona’s weight on her and just caused Arizona to laugh louder.
“Right.”
Still laughing, but managing to find strength in her boneless body, Callie attempted to push her body off the couch with her arms. Arizona, realizing what was happening, quickly poked her hands into Callie’s sides startling her effort and causing her to exhale quickly. Arizona continued to giggle as Callie fell back to the sofa with a whumpf and a groan.
“Ow!” Callie’s tone was suddenly distressed. “Omigod Ow!”
Arizona quickly got off her girlfriend and knelt beside the sofa peering at her girlfriend’s covered face as she slowly sat up clutching her shoulder.
“Callie? I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”
Callie’s pain-ridden face instantaneously changed into a shit-eating grin.
“You are so easy.”
Exasperated, but relieved Callie was unharmed, Arizona stood and slapped her on the upper arm playfully. Callie’s hand shot up to grasp where her hit had landed, indignantly.
“Domestic Abuse!”
Arizona began to laugh again.
“You idiot. I thought you were hurt.”
She straddled Callie’s lap and placed her hands around her neck. Callie’s hands automatically found their way to Arizona’s hips as she gazed up to her girlfriend and pouted.
“I could report you, y’know.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
Callie sensed the change in mood of her partner. She could feel Arizona’s breath on her face and felt her body echo her girlfriend’s arousal as she inhaled her exhales. Arizona’s eyes dropped to her lips and Callie smiled as her own gaze did the same. She lived for moments like these, were it felt like her and Arizona were the only people in the world - breathing, thinking and hearts beating as one.
Her lips were soft as they both melded together, progressing to a rhythmic exploration. Callie felt heady at Arizona’s control of the kiss and her hands shifted from her hips to the front of her jeans, fingers fumbling at the button and zip. She could feel Arizona’s smile against her lips.
“I thought you were so, so tired?”
Arizona’s hips rolled into Callie, stilling any smart-alec response she may or may not have had in her head.
The feeling of love was so unbearably sweet, it made Callie’s heart hurt.
Goddammit.
Goddammit. Goddammit. Goddammit.
Callie was drawn back to the present as a singular tear escaped and tracked over the bridge of her nose to plop onto the sheet covering the sofa cushion below.
It was so good she was at Mark’s because she wouldn’t have memories of Arizona like that. She definitely wouldn’t have that particular memory of Arizona every time she had to lay down on Mark’s sofa, so similar to her own. She barely thought of Arizona these days, really.
Goddammit.
Now she felt uncomfortably horny. Especially after actually seeing Arizona today, Callie’s senses had been reawakened by the familiar smell.
Usually if she felt like this, she would get up and find Mark. Sleeping with him was often a hit or miss situation. Sometimes it relieved her frustration, sometimes it made it worse. Either way, tonight, Callie didn’t feel like sleeping with Mark. Something about Arizona’s presence had affected her and Callie was just frustrated, sad and confused. She felt her anger build towards Arizona.
If Arizona didn’t want to have anything to do with Callie, then why the fuck didn’t she stay the hell out of her life? Callie hated her. She hated, hated, hated her.
Except because she loved her.