(no subject)
MEME!
Instruction #1: No "I can't pick one" allowed.
Instruction #2: Explain your choices.
Instruction #3: Post it in your journal.
1. You're going out for a fancy dinner (like for an important anniversary or something). Would you rather eat at a place with "Dining Lounge" in its name, or a place with "Restaurant & Grill" in its name?
I'm going to go with "Dining Lounge," because it's a fancy dinner date. I feel like at "Restaurant & Grill" I'm more likely to come across themed food, or to have an enormous kitschy soda can or clever license plate mounted on the wall next to my head... or that the waitstaff is more likely to have a cutesy themed welcome, like "Welcome to Bob's Restaurant & Grill - your one-stop-shop for 'Flaming Fajita Screamers' and 'Jot Jalapeno Jorsemeat!'"
2. Is your answer different if its "Restaurant & Grille"?
Surprisingly, yes. ...I'd still choose "Dining Lounge," but I'd think about it longer. "Restaurant & Grille" sounds like the sort of place where I'd have to pay $73 for the same enormous greasy steak I'd get for $13.50 down at the "Restaurant & Grill," only it'd have some weird shit like "Mango and Black Truffle Whale Vomit Custard" slathered on it. Which sounds tasty, but... eating an enormous greasy steak on a fancy dinner date doesn't sound like the sort of thing that'll leave my shirt un-grease-stained.
3. Later on, your fancy night of celebration includes an overnight stay... will it be in "[blank] Hotel" or "[blank] Inn"?
Definitely "[blank] Hotel." The Inn sounds cozier, but it also sounds like the sort of place where when you call down to the front desk for room service, you get the owner's wife, and she sends her surly teenage son up with some cold-cut sandwiches and a religious pamphlet. You know what you get with "[blank] Hotel": homogenized, unsuprising, but quality-controlled and at-least-decent service.
4. You're at the beach, looking for a seafood restaurant. Would you rather eat at "The Rusty [blank]" or "The Salty [blank]"?
I'm going to go with "The Salty [blank]" on this, just because salt makes me think of food, and rust makes me think of lockjaw. Although I'd bet the shitty fried seafood platter is better at "The Rusty [blank]."
5. Now you're going clothes shopping. There are two clothing stores in town you may choose from, and you don't know anything about them but their names. Would you rather shop at "La [blank]" or "[blank] Rack"?
I'm going with the Rack. La [blank] sounds like the sort of place where you have to ring the doorbell to get in, nothing fits anyone who's not build like a Holocaust victim, and the staff looks at you like you're a precariously-leaning tower of feces.
6. "[blank] Hut" or "[blank] Barn"?
Hut. Hut sounds friendlier.
7. A combination restaurant-and-haunted-house or a combination restaurant-and-circus (no animals)?
Definitely the restaurant-and-haunted-house, if only because of the possibility that I will be served by a Dracula impersonator with a really bad phony accent, who will say "I vant to take your drink order!"
8. Would you rather eat at a place with a cutesy Southern misspelling in its title (think "Marge's Good Eatin'") or a place with an omnipresent cartoonish anthropomorphized animal mascot plastered all over the menu and the collectible souvenir t-shirts sold at the front desk?
The clever misspelling. I figure a place that needs an anthropomorphized animal mascot (complete with merchandize) is a place that can't stand on its food alone. Plus, the screaming kid quotient? Screw that.
9. "Chez [blank]" or "El [blank]"?
"El [blank]," any day of the week and twice on Sunday. If it's Spanish food, yay. If it's Tex-Mex, yay. If it's Latin American, yay.
10. You feel like getting some drinks this evening. Would you rather pony up to the bar at "Bob's Bar" or "Bob's Tavern"?
This question really boils down to what you want WITH your drinks. Sandwiches with the little colorful toothpicks? Bar. Stale pretzels? Tavern. I'm a sandwich guy, so it's the Bar.
11. ...or "Bob's Waterin' Hole"?
No. Just, no.
12. ...or "Bob's Pub"?
Hmm... that's a tough one. I'm still going to go with Bar, because Pub seems likely to feature bagpipe music.
13. Would you rather eat at "The [blank] Factory" or "The [blank] Hole"?
Factory. Hole sounds like the sort of place that wants to be a dive, but real dives never incorporate their diveyness into their name. And faux-dives are stupid. At least Factory sounds like they'd pass a health code inspection.
14. On another fancy dinner date, you have a choice of two restaurants: one with a single abstract and vaguely-foreign-sounding unfamiliar word as its name, and a place with the word "The" followed by a stately, masculine, old-fashioned sounding word like "Marshall." Which'll it be?
Give me "The [blank]" any day. The food will almost certainly not be daring or mind-blowing or new, but it will almost certainly be excellent. The single abstract word sounds like a place where you end up paying about 35 dollars per gram of food, and it's 99% asparagus, and it comes looking beautiful but afterward you're just as hungry as you were when you walked in.
15. A place identifiable by its bright neon sign of a pig with a fork sticking out of it, or a place identifiable only by its buzzing, flickering neon sign that says "EAT"?
"EAT." Sometimes "EAT" can be really tasty. On the other hand, a place that advertises its victims will almost always make you feel like a bad person.
16. You're going skydiving for the very first time ever this morning! (If you've already been skydiving, substitute something else appropriately dangerous and intimidating in its place, like motorcycle racing or trapeze-with-no-net.) At the last minute, you inadvertently discover that your instructor and chaperone has a nickname - nearly everyone who knows him/her uses it to address him/her. Would you rather find out that this nickname is "Balls-To-The-Wall" or "Chickenshit"?
If it's skydiving, "Chickenshit." On the other hand, if it's a choice between "Balls-To-The-Wall" and "Splat," I'm going with "Balls-To-The-Wall" every time.
17. Would you rather go winetasting at "[blank] Winery" or "[blank] Vineyard," assuming that both places actually include both a vineyard and a winery?
Vineyard, but with no real basis. I love Tarara Winery, but I think the word Vineyard is a great-sounding word.
18. You're in an unfamiliar town late at night, and you're friggin' starving. The only two places that are open are: A) a double-wide diner with two dozen Harley Davidsons parked out front, loud honkey-tonk music coming from inside, and the recurring sound of glass breaking; and B) a dimly lit place on the corner at the edge of town, with no cars parked anywhere nearby, no sounds coming from inside, no signs of life at all, except for an askew, flickering, buzzing neon sign that says "OPEN." Which one will be providing your late-night feast?
If I can't shoot myself, then I'm going to go with the "OPEN" place, if only because I generally trust my ability to wriggle out of tough situations... and that sounds like a tough situation just waiting to take shape.
Instruction #1: No "I can't pick one" allowed.
Instruction #2: Explain your choices.
Instruction #3: Post it in your journal.
1. You're going out for a fancy dinner (like for an important anniversary or something). Would you rather eat at a place with "Dining Lounge" in its name, or a place with "Restaurant & Grill" in its name?
I'm going to go with "Dining Lounge," because it's a fancy dinner date. I feel like at "Restaurant & Grill" I'm more likely to come across themed food, or to have an enormous kitschy soda can or clever license plate mounted on the wall next to my head... or that the waitstaff is more likely to have a cutesy themed welcome, like "Welcome to Bob's Restaurant & Grill - your one-stop-shop for 'Flaming Fajita Screamers' and 'Jot Jalapeno Jorsemeat!'"
2. Is your answer different if its "Restaurant & Grille"?
Surprisingly, yes. ...I'd still choose "Dining Lounge," but I'd think about it longer. "Restaurant & Grille" sounds like the sort of place where I'd have to pay $73 for the same enormous greasy steak I'd get for $13.50 down at the "Restaurant & Grill," only it'd have some weird shit like "Mango and Black Truffle Whale Vomit Custard" slathered on it. Which sounds tasty, but... eating an enormous greasy steak on a fancy dinner date doesn't sound like the sort of thing that'll leave my shirt un-grease-stained.
3. Later on, your fancy night of celebration includes an overnight stay... will it be in "[blank] Hotel" or "[blank] Inn"?
Definitely "[blank] Hotel." The Inn sounds cozier, but it also sounds like the sort of place where when you call down to the front desk for room service, you get the owner's wife, and she sends her surly teenage son up with some cold-cut sandwiches and a religious pamphlet. You know what you get with "[blank] Hotel": homogenized, unsuprising, but quality-controlled and at-least-decent service.
4. You're at the beach, looking for a seafood restaurant. Would you rather eat at "The Rusty [blank]" or "The Salty [blank]"?
I'm going to go with "The Salty [blank]" on this, just because salt makes me think of food, and rust makes me think of lockjaw. Although I'd bet the shitty fried seafood platter is better at "The Rusty [blank]."
5. Now you're going clothes shopping. There are two clothing stores in town you may choose from, and you don't know anything about them but their names. Would you rather shop at "La [blank]" or "[blank] Rack"?
I'm going with the Rack. La [blank] sounds like the sort of place where you have to ring the doorbell to get in, nothing fits anyone who's not build like a Holocaust victim, and the staff looks at you like you're a precariously-leaning tower of feces.
6. "[blank] Hut" or "[blank] Barn"?
Hut. Hut sounds friendlier.
7. A combination restaurant-and-haunted-house or a combination restaurant-and-circus (no animals)?
Definitely the restaurant-and-haunted-house, if only because of the possibility that I will be served by a Dracula impersonator with a really bad phony accent, who will say "I vant to take your drink order!"
8. Would you rather eat at a place with a cutesy Southern misspelling in its title (think "Marge's Good Eatin'") or a place with an omnipresent cartoonish anthropomorphized animal mascot plastered all over the menu and the collectible souvenir t-shirts sold at the front desk?
The clever misspelling. I figure a place that needs an anthropomorphized animal mascot (complete with merchandize) is a place that can't stand on its food alone. Plus, the screaming kid quotient? Screw that.
9. "Chez [blank]" or "El [blank]"?
"El [blank]," any day of the week and twice on Sunday. If it's Spanish food, yay. If it's Tex-Mex, yay. If it's Latin American, yay.
10. You feel like getting some drinks this evening. Would you rather pony up to the bar at "Bob's Bar" or "Bob's Tavern"?
This question really boils down to what you want WITH your drinks. Sandwiches with the little colorful toothpicks? Bar. Stale pretzels? Tavern. I'm a sandwich guy, so it's the Bar.
11. ...or "Bob's Waterin' Hole"?
No. Just, no.
12. ...or "Bob's Pub"?
Hmm... that's a tough one. I'm still going to go with Bar, because Pub seems likely to feature bagpipe music.
13. Would you rather eat at "The [blank] Factory" or "The [blank] Hole"?
Factory. Hole sounds like the sort of place that wants to be a dive, but real dives never incorporate their diveyness into their name. And faux-dives are stupid. At least Factory sounds like they'd pass a health code inspection.
14. On another fancy dinner date, you have a choice of two restaurants: one with a single abstract and vaguely-foreign-sounding unfamiliar word as its name, and a place with the word "The" followed by a stately, masculine, old-fashioned sounding word like "Marshall." Which'll it be?
Give me "The [blank]" any day. The food will almost certainly not be daring or mind-blowing or new, but it will almost certainly be excellent. The single abstract word sounds like a place where you end up paying about 35 dollars per gram of food, and it's 99% asparagus, and it comes looking beautiful but afterward you're just as hungry as you were when you walked in.
15. A place identifiable by its bright neon sign of a pig with a fork sticking out of it, or a place identifiable only by its buzzing, flickering neon sign that says "EAT"?
"EAT." Sometimes "EAT" can be really tasty. On the other hand, a place that advertises its victims will almost always make you feel like a bad person.
16. You're going skydiving for the very first time ever this morning! (If you've already been skydiving, substitute something else appropriately dangerous and intimidating in its place, like motorcycle racing or trapeze-with-no-net.) At the last minute, you inadvertently discover that your instructor and chaperone has a nickname - nearly everyone who knows him/her uses it to address him/her. Would you rather find out that this nickname is "Balls-To-The-Wall" or "Chickenshit"?
If it's skydiving, "Chickenshit." On the other hand, if it's a choice between "Balls-To-The-Wall" and "Splat," I'm going with "Balls-To-The-Wall" every time.
17. Would you rather go winetasting at "[blank] Winery" or "[blank] Vineyard," assuming that both places actually include both a vineyard and a winery?
Vineyard, but with no real basis. I love Tarara Winery, but I think the word Vineyard is a great-sounding word.
18. You're in an unfamiliar town late at night, and you're friggin' starving. The only two places that are open are: A) a double-wide diner with two dozen Harley Davidsons parked out front, loud honkey-tonk music coming from inside, and the recurring sound of glass breaking; and B) a dimly lit place on the corner at the edge of town, with no cars parked anywhere nearby, no sounds coming from inside, no signs of life at all, except for an askew, flickering, buzzing neon sign that says "OPEN." Which one will be providing your late-night feast?
If I can't shoot myself, then I'm going to go with the "OPEN" place, if only because I generally trust my ability to wriggle out of tough situations... and that sounds like a tough situation just waiting to take shape.