(no subject)
Well, it's two weeks before I move in, and a fortnight and a couple days till classes start. I don't know what to feel, it's so unreal that very soon I will be partially free of Dad and his tyranny. It's difficult to explain to an outsider, anyone with a normal set of parents, what happens to someone mentally, emotionally, and even physically (after eighteen years) when they're living in a house where someone not only has complete and utter control over everything they say and do and have, they take full advantage of it. A normal parent lets a kid live their own life, make mistakes, be a little stupid sometimes. Normal parents do not insult their child's intelligence, they encourage it. A person in this situation, even at the age of eighteen, still feels like a child in the presence of The Lord&Master of the House who has the Final Word, and may change it at any time. They feel like a child, they crave affection and get it only from a single sibling, they start to lose sleep.
So when this child is two weeks away from the world tilting and the boulders and lightning falling away, and they know it, what is the child supposed to feel? You might say freedom, elation, and while this is partially true, in the back of her mind, the child knows there has never before been life without Dad, apart from his ever-increasing trips to the psych ward. She is facing the unknown, and has some pretty poor footing underneath her.
And packing is proving quite exhausting and difficult. Guess how many lacrosse balls are under my bed. Go on, guess.
So when this child is two weeks away from the world tilting and the boulders and lightning falling away, and they know it, what is the child supposed to feel? You might say freedom, elation, and while this is partially true, in the back of her mind, the child knows there has never before been life without Dad, apart from his ever-increasing trips to the psych ward. She is facing the unknown, and has some pretty poor footing underneath her.
And packing is proving quite exhausting and difficult. Guess how many lacrosse balls are under my bed. Go on, guess.