Don't Ask Why [PG] 1/2
[title] Don't Ask Why
[author] churchslackzluv
[beta] Myself. Any mistakes are my own.
[pairing] David Archuleta/ David Cook---Friendship.
[rating] PG
[word count] 3,913
[summary] He's just lost him. How does he react? How does he cope? Will he be haunted by fierce flash backs of the past?
[disclaimer] I do not under any circumstances own David Archuleta or David Cook, nor have I met them. The portraying of their personalities are completely fictional. This story is fictional, ad once you read, you will know why.
[warnings] Third person. Angst. Character death.
[author's notes] I know that Cookleta are not a couple in this one, for I have not written a story with them being gay yet. Maybe in the near future I will. This is my first post on this community, actually, make that my first post on my account. Comments and criticism is greatly appreciated.
The young man sat quietly in the hard, wooden, and not to mention cold, church pew. Looking around His house, he could feel His presence. He was sending him messages of sympathy. You didn’t know about it, you couldn’t help it David. It was him time to leave. He spent his life well on Earth, but he needed to come back up here with me. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to see him again-you’ll meet him up here in heaven. Where you both belong; you both lived great lives. You will continue to live your life, knowing you’ll help many more people. I put you down here for a reason, David. To help others and the world. You will continue to do that until I’m ready for you to come back up here, with me. Than, you’ll be able to look over everyone else on Earth with him. You guys won’t be lonely. He did nothing bad, David. He had fulfilled his goal on Earth, but it was to a bitter ending. I didn’t mean for it to happen like that, but that is what ended up happening, and I’m sorry. Just remember, he will always love you as his brother, as everyone should love one another. I have faith in you, David. With that, He stopped talking to him. David had listened to his voice quietly, breathing softly and keeping his head down. Now that He stopped talking, he looked back up. The church had more people in it now, family, friends and others. It was hard to believe they were all gathered here for such a bad occasion.
They all gathered there today for a funeral.
Many sat in pews, talking amongst themselves, whispering to each other. People were kneeling and praying. Some were crying, keeping their heads down but their bodies evidently shook. Loved ones would be sitting next to them, rubbing their back softly and offering them words of sympathy. Though no matter how many times you’ve said “I’m sorry for the lost.” Or “It’ll be okay, he’s in a better place now.” Or “What’s important is that he’s happy now, he’ll never leave you, he’ll always be in here,” to which than they point to your chest, where your heart is, it doesn’t help anything. David knew from experience. No matter how many times you say “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t do anything. It’ll make you feel a little better, of course.
But it doesn’t bring that person back.
Once you’re dead, it’s all over. You can’t wake them up, no matter how many times you plead. It doesn’t matter how much you want them back, they won’t come back. Nothing will bring them back.
That’s the truth.
You can’t bring people back from the dead.
No matter how much you want to, or how much you try, it doesn’t change anything.
They’re dead. You have to come to terms with that.
They’re dead, gone, lost forever. Of course, you won’t forget them. That just wouldn’t be right, just because a person left, you completely forget they ever existed and you brush it off like it’s no big thing. So what if they can’t talk to you any more, or hug you, or tell you how much they love you?
Memories last forever.
But, no matter how many people leave you, no matter how many times you’ve been hurt, no matter how many times you just decided you didn’t want to deal with everything and wanted to leave, just remember one thing…
Love is the most important thing.
While David was wallowing in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice the big, heavy door to the church open. He was suddenly aware that everyone was standing, so he got to his feet too. Though, his legs shook wearily, from exhaustion.
In came the priest, holding his prayer book up in the air, right toward the crucifix in the middle of the church. Behind him, six men, all dressed in suits, wheeled something into the church. Over it, a white sheet with a cross stitched into the material was on top of it. They were wheeling in the coffin. David gulped hard, over the lump that was forming in his throat. David would be one of those people, but he didn’t want. He didn’t want to be lifting the coffin that contained his dead friend. It made his skin crawl just thinking about it.
All was silent as these seven, no eight, people entered the church. Everyone’s eyes were focused on the men traveling up the aisle. No one dared to speak, until told to do so. They finally made it to the altar, the priest bowing out of respect to the crucifix. The priest than walked up the steps, laying his book on a table that was set up.
The priest started to ramble, saying how they were all gathered here today for an unfortunate lost, and that He blesses us all and will help get us through this uncalled for, yet some what necessary, event. Finally, amidst the priest’s rambling, he finally came to a certain part of the service.
“Today, we have a special young man who would like to do the honors of reading the eulogy, please welcome David Archuleta.” The priest said, that being David’s cue to get up from his pew and stand at the pulpit to read his eulogy that he had written and prepared all day, yesterday. When David finally got to the pulpit, he cleared his throat and adjusted the microphone so that it would reach his mouth.
“As you all know, I’m David Archuleta. I’m standing here today to talk about David Cook, who passed away a few days ago.” David began nervously, fumbling with his fingers while he spoke.
“Truly, you don’t know when you have such a great friend-until he’s gone. It’s really how I feel. David was such a great guy. Always helping others, protective of his friends, made sure that no one messed with him. Yet, he was laid-back and had a great sense of humor. I learned that when he tagged-teamed with his buddy, Michael Johns, during the summer of the American Idol tour,” David took a moment, forcing himself to look at his audience and putting on a fake smile. He decided that he could just smile for this second maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. He actually heard a couple of soft chuckles from various people. Some people smiled also. David looked back down his reading, his smile fading away and a frown tugging at his lips.
“I have to tell you-and I bet most of you know this already-David was one of my best friends. He always had my back, especially on performance nights when I could feel nervous butterflies twitter all around in my stomach. He always told me just to relax, sing with all you have, and focus on the song. Find my spot on that stage and sing my heart out. If you worry about judges, it’ll just make you be bad. So don’t worry about that stuff too much. David was one of the nicest guys I knew, and just wanted to be kind to everyone. I still look back on finale night, when after he was announced the winner. He turned right to me, and hugged me, and told me he loved me. That moment, I was just so proud of him, that he actually won. I was extremely happy he won, and I was expecting it. Than, there was the ac-accident…” David, remembering the horrifying night like it was yesterday. Out of all the phone calls he could get…this phone call had changed his life forever. He still could play the audio back in his head, a broken record that never stopped playing.
David sat quietly in his bed room in his Los Angeles house, enjoying the tranquility of a peaceful night-something he hadn’t had in ages. Dressed clad in green flannel pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt, David sat up-right on his soft bed, blankets pulled up to his waist. Having a random TV channel on, David had his laptop resting on his, well, lap, surfing the web. He read some of his myspace comments on his official channel, smiling at all the nice comments, most of them people asking if he had a good time on tour and just saying thank you. He was comfortable and happy.
I’m not going to write you a love song
‘Cause you tell me
It’s make or break me
If you’re on your way
Hearing his Sara Barielles ring tone fill the air, he grabbed his iPhone and looked at the caller ID. The name ‘Michael Johns’ flashed across the screen, with his number underneath. Why was Michael calling him at this time of the night? This had to be really important. David pressed the ‘accept’ button, bringing his phone to his ear.
“Hello?” David said into the receiver, putting the television on mute so he could hear the person on the other line.
“David…” Michael responded to David and only Michael saying his name told him that something was wrong. His tone of voice, how distressed and miserable he sounded. Something bad had happened, he just had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that something wasn’t right. Gulping hard and face holding a confused and questioning look, David decided to say something.
“What’s the matter, what happened?” David asked frantically into the phone, fearing how Michael was going to reply.
“I don’t know how to tell you this…” Michael spoke again, sounding distant yet somehow still there. His mind was else where and David knew.
“Michael, please just tell me, you’re scaring me!” David just about yelled into the phone, his stomach doing nervous flip-flops. He was met with silence, painfully slow silence.
“He’s gone.” The voice on the other side said. Hearing the words made David dizzy. Putting a shaking hand on the bed to steady himself David made himself start breathing again. He felt bile rise in his throat.
“No…no that’s not true you’re lying…you’re lying!” David was trying to convince Michael, and also himself, that what Michael was saying was false. Though it didn’t seem to do much help.
One week ago, David Cook had been admitted to the hospital, after a terrible accident left him in a coma. While he was rehearsing for his tour, a light above gave it up came crashing to the floor. Inevitably, Cook was standing under the light when it happened and he was hit hard in the head, automatically knocked unconscious. His condition didn’t seem to be improving, yet didn’t worsen either. Apparently, today he made a turn for the worst and it all came crashing down.
“He’s dead…Cook’s dead.” Michael stated, his voice shaking horribly. David dropped his phone on the bed, not being to bear taking it any longer. Silently, he walked into the bathroom, his stomach threatening to release at any moment. Once in the room, he switched on his light. He looked at himself, alive and well. It wasn’t fair. Here he was, still living and fine. The exact opposite of Cook. Cook wasn’t fine.
Cook was dead.
The thought had finally been processed, not being able to stomach it, David quickly found himself keeled over, retching terribly into the toilet. It was as if he threw up the bad things in life, they would be gone. But they wouldn’t be gone. They’d still be there, no matter what.
He finally finished, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He walked out of the bathroom and into his bed room, eyes watering. He picked back up his phone, hearing evident sobbing on the other side. David had never seen nor heard Michael cry before. Who knew the death of his ‘partner-in-crime’ could be the cause of it.
“Michael…” David said into the phone, voice cracking. He heard Michael take a deep, shaky breath.
“Y-yeah?” Michael eventually said back.
“He’s…not…dead.” David said almost inaudible, trying one more desperate plea, seeing if it would help anything. He knew the truth, yet it didn’t seem real. None of this seemed real.
Before Michael could respond and break his world down even more, David pressed the ‘call end’ button. Not only did that button end a call. It seemed like it also ended a life. David silently put down his phone, and stared blankly at it. Like as if he stared at the phone, Michael would call him back and tell him he was pulling his leg. Or the doctors made a mistake. Or Cook actually woke up. After staring at his phone for a moment, the room was still uncomfortably silent. The phone didn’t ring. No one was going to call him back.
David picked up the phone, staring hard at it in his hand, before he finally broke down. Clutching the phone tightly in his hand, tears pooled in his eyes and poured down his cheeks. His body began to shake harder than he ever imagined. He buried his face in his pillows in a sorry attempt to muffle the heart shattering cries emitting from him. He was sure that everyone in the hotel could hear him, but he didn’t care. So what if the others could hear him? His best friend just died. No one had any reason at all to try and stop him from being sad. Strangely enough, this was not the first time he cried that day.
“David…?” The priest questioned him, snapping David back to the present. What David didn’t know is that he just stood there for five minutes, quiet with his various emotions in the flashback splashing across his face as they played back in his head. David looked at the priest, putting on a fake smile again.
“Oh…uh…yeah, sorry about that...” David giggled nervously into the microphone, hearing himself echo throughout the church. His face turned a shade of red, before he started reading the eulogy again. Strangely enough, no one knew why he stopped for a while. Many thought he was just nervous or upset. Or he was trying to collect himself and regain his composure again. But his family knew better than that. They knew he was reliving the horrible night he found out his friend died. They had seen him do that many times before, to be talking about David Cook, or anything related to him, he would just fade out and get that same look on his face. They would leave him be, letting him play it out on his own, since they really couldn’t do anything about it.
“But even though now he’s gone, he will always be a part of me. He’s someone you can’t forget. He was the we of me. I’m really happy I got to interact with someone like him, but I’m sad that he’s gone. He’ll surely be missed. I’ve learned that you can’t ask “Why?” ‘Cause most likely, you’re not going to get an answer. There’s no real reason to why someone is gone. They just are. You can’t keep asking “Why?” after they are gone because frankly, you can’t do anything to reverse it. The facts may hurt, but they’re the truth. I’m going to think about that today. I hope you do too. Thank you for your time.” David finished, a numb feeling washing over him. He wasn’t crying at all, actually. He just felt numb. He basically just disconnected from the world, leaving him in his own world.
“Thank you David. May we all now join hands and say the Lord’s Prayer?” The priest said, everyone getting to their feet once more, taking hands with the people the next to them. David locked his hands with his little sister, Amber, and his brother, Daniel. They both gave him comforting smiles. He didn’t smile back, though. Daniel looked around his brother quickly, to look directly at his little sister.
“I hope he’ll be okay.” Daniel mouthed Amber, making sure David didn’t see him. Luckily, he didn’t.
“Me too.” Amber simply mouthed back, as everyone in the church went into the Our Father in unison.
After they finally made it out of that dreaded church, they began to go to the cemetery, everyone following the car in front of them with their lights and blinkers on. David decided to drive his own car to the cemetery so he could stay for as long as he pleased. You may think he would want to get out of there as fast he possibly could, running in the opposite direction, never looking back. Though, he didn’t want to do that at all. He wanted to sit there and think. Think about…life. How sometimes it just wasn’t fair. How sometimes you just can’t win. How sometimes you shouldn’t ask why something happened, just be happy it did.
This was nothing to be happy about.
As they pulled into the parking lot the sky was becoming darker and gloomier. There were evident signs of rain in the sky. David got out of his car, looking up at the briefly. It was almost scary how the weather perfectly reflected his mood. Dark… miserable... depressed.
Everyone approached where Cook was going to be buried, as the priest stood nearby. The thought of David Cook actually being buried, stowed away in the ground forever, made David shudder violently. His own friend that he shared a brotherly love relationship with was being put in the ground. That’s what they do to you when you’re dead though. Everyone finally made it to the grave, surrounding the rectangular hole that was dug out of the ground. In came the same six men from before, carrying the casket once again.
David finally caught a glimpse of someone he hadn’t spoken to all day, which surprised him. It was Cook’s mother. Cook’s mother stood there surrounded by comforting friends hand over her mouth as she bawled loudly. She had been like that all day and that was one of the reasons why David willed himself not to cry today. He figured since many more people around him were suffering, just like him, he wanted to be one of the strong ones. Also the reason why he put on this fake smile even though he was hurting, with that strong, throbbing pain, on the inside. This pain spread through his nerve endings, sent to all parts of his body, carried through his blood stream, and it radiated off of him, though he masked it with that fake smile. As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn’t. People could take one look at him, and look right through his obvious transparency, and would know he was hurting. But no one said anything.
David felt a hand clap on his shoulder, so he turned around to see who had done it. It turned out to be a red-eyed Aussie, known as Michael Johns. He tiredly ran a hand through his dark brown, thick hair, before giving David a weak smile. David did nothing, said nothing, and just stared at him. He didn’t want to respond.
“You know, Cook said something to me before he went away.” Michael said softly into David’s ear, so only David could hear him. David looked at him bewildered, eye brows knitting together as he looked at Michael.
“What did he say?” David asked, in a voice he couldn’t even tell was his or not. Instead of his happy, go-lucky tone, was replaced with a raspy and troubled one. Even Michael raised his eyebrows slightly at the unusual sound of it.
“He said, ‘And remember, I am always with until the end of time.’ which I really don’t get at all.” Michael explained, as he tried to rack his brain to what it could possibly mean. David was confused for a second, but suddenly realized what it was, as he heard an involuntary gasp escape him. Michael looked down at him, a questioning look upon his features. David looked up at him, and he felt his eyes starting to swim. No, he wouldn’t cry.
“…I know what that means.” David said quietly. Michael raised his eyebrows for the second time in less than a span of two minutes. David took this as a cue for an explanation.
“That quote is from the bible. Matthew 28:20… ‘Remember, I am with you always until the end of time.’…I read that to him, Michael! I didn’t know he remembered.” David said, hearing his voice becoming choked as he spoke. Michael listened intently, before responding to this statement.
“I didn’t know that’s where it was from.” Michael said simply, before their attention was brought back to the situation at hand. The priest had cleared his throat and that signaled the beginning of the service. Everyone listened silently, even though the rain soaked everyone to the bone, causing people to shiver while the service took place.
David felt another person come up behind and rub his shoulder gently. Turning around, he saw his mother standing behind him. Her dark brown hair was clinging to her cheek, her eyes with a sad look present in them. There he went again plastering another fake smile on his face in a feeble attempt to hide his pain.
“Hey sweetie…” Lupe, his mother, greeted him while putting her arms around him because she knew he needed it.
“Hi Mom…” David said back to her, hugging her back. His mother’s arms offered him warmth, comfort and love. Love…what everybody needed right now.
“It all will be okay.” David’s mother said, as she rubbed her hand up and down David’s back. She decided not ask ‘How are you doing?’ because she already knew the answer. She knew that he wasn’t doing well. She knew he wanted his brother back. So they weren’t related, but it didn’t change how much David loved Cook as his own sibling. Not that Cook was gone it stung badly like a fresh, raw cut you get hand sanitizer in.
“How do you know?” David questioned quietly. Lupe looked at her son, running her hand through his soft, black hair.
“Because I know what you’re going through. I remember I lost my brother when I was around your age, and I was devastated. But he is always with me, and he’s watching over me. Now Cook is watching over you.” Lupe stated, but before she could do much more, she was interrupted by the priest.
“Let the body of David Roland Cook rest in piece, and may his soul be put to rest.” The priest said, closing his prayer book. Many people scrambled to get out of the rain, scurrying to their assorted cars. Lupe looked at everyone rushing around, and she knew she had to leave with David’s other siblings and her husband.
“You’ll be okay as the pain eases after a while. But you’ll never forget him. I love you.” Lupe said to him, leaning up to kiss his forehead. David looked at his mother.
“I love you too.” David said softly to her, before she kissed her cheek. Lupe gave hi one last smile, before she went with the rest of David’s family to the car. He watched as they all got in and drove off, leaving David in the middle of the cemetery by himself, with Cook’s casket still graveside.
Time could heal everything, right? David wasn’t too sure.
~TBC~
[author] churchslackzluv
[beta] Myself. Any mistakes are my own.
[pairing] David Archuleta/ David Cook---Friendship.
[rating] PG
[word count] 3,913
[summary] He's just lost him. How does he react? How does he cope? Will he be haunted by fierce flash backs of the past?
[disclaimer] I do not under any circumstances own David Archuleta or David Cook, nor have I met them. The portraying of their personalities are completely fictional. This story is fictional, ad once you read, you will know why.
[warnings] Third person. Angst. Character death.
[author's notes] I know that Cookleta are not a couple in this one, for I have not written a story with them being gay yet. Maybe in the near future I will. This is my first post on this community, actually, make that my first post on my account. Comments and criticism is greatly appreciated.
The young man sat quietly in the hard, wooden, and not to mention cold, church pew. Looking around His house, he could feel His presence. He was sending him messages of sympathy. You didn’t know about it, you couldn’t help it David. It was him time to leave. He spent his life well on Earth, but he needed to come back up here with me. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to see him again-you’ll meet him up here in heaven. Where you both belong; you both lived great lives. You will continue to live your life, knowing you’ll help many more people. I put you down here for a reason, David. To help others and the world. You will continue to do that until I’m ready for you to come back up here, with me. Than, you’ll be able to look over everyone else on Earth with him. You guys won’t be lonely. He did nothing bad, David. He had fulfilled his goal on Earth, but it was to a bitter ending. I didn’t mean for it to happen like that, but that is what ended up happening, and I’m sorry. Just remember, he will always love you as his brother, as everyone should love one another. I have faith in you, David. With that, He stopped talking to him. David had listened to his voice quietly, breathing softly and keeping his head down. Now that He stopped talking, he looked back up. The church had more people in it now, family, friends and others. It was hard to believe they were all gathered here for such a bad occasion.
They all gathered there today for a funeral.
Many sat in pews, talking amongst themselves, whispering to each other. People were kneeling and praying. Some were crying, keeping their heads down but their bodies evidently shook. Loved ones would be sitting next to them, rubbing their back softly and offering them words of sympathy. Though no matter how many times you’ve said “I’m sorry for the lost.” Or “It’ll be okay, he’s in a better place now.” Or “What’s important is that he’s happy now, he’ll never leave you, he’ll always be in here,” to which than they point to your chest, where your heart is, it doesn’t help anything. David knew from experience. No matter how many times you say “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t do anything. It’ll make you feel a little better, of course.
But it doesn’t bring that person back.
Once you’re dead, it’s all over. You can’t wake them up, no matter how many times you plead. It doesn’t matter how much you want them back, they won’t come back. Nothing will bring them back.
That’s the truth.
You can’t bring people back from the dead.
No matter how much you want to, or how much you try, it doesn’t change anything.
They’re dead. You have to come to terms with that.
They’re dead, gone, lost forever. Of course, you won’t forget them. That just wouldn’t be right, just because a person left, you completely forget they ever existed and you brush it off like it’s no big thing. So what if they can’t talk to you any more, or hug you, or tell you how much they love you?
Memories last forever.
But, no matter how many people leave you, no matter how many times you’ve been hurt, no matter how many times you just decided you didn’t want to deal with everything and wanted to leave, just remember one thing…
Love is the most important thing.
While David was wallowing in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice the big, heavy door to the church open. He was suddenly aware that everyone was standing, so he got to his feet too. Though, his legs shook wearily, from exhaustion.
In came the priest, holding his prayer book up in the air, right toward the crucifix in the middle of the church. Behind him, six men, all dressed in suits, wheeled something into the church. Over it, a white sheet with a cross stitched into the material was on top of it. They were wheeling in the coffin. David gulped hard, over the lump that was forming in his throat. David would be one of those people, but he didn’t want. He didn’t want to be lifting the coffin that contained his dead friend. It made his skin crawl just thinking about it.
All was silent as these seven, no eight, people entered the church. Everyone’s eyes were focused on the men traveling up the aisle. No one dared to speak, until told to do so. They finally made it to the altar, the priest bowing out of respect to the crucifix. The priest than walked up the steps, laying his book on a table that was set up.
The priest started to ramble, saying how they were all gathered here today for an unfortunate lost, and that He blesses us all and will help get us through this uncalled for, yet some what necessary, event. Finally, amidst the priest’s rambling, he finally came to a certain part of the service.
“Today, we have a special young man who would like to do the honors of reading the eulogy, please welcome David Archuleta.” The priest said, that being David’s cue to get up from his pew and stand at the pulpit to read his eulogy that he had written and prepared all day, yesterday. When David finally got to the pulpit, he cleared his throat and adjusted the microphone so that it would reach his mouth.
“As you all know, I’m David Archuleta. I’m standing here today to talk about David Cook, who passed away a few days ago.” David began nervously, fumbling with his fingers while he spoke.
“Truly, you don’t know when you have such a great friend-until he’s gone. It’s really how I feel. David was such a great guy. Always helping others, protective of his friends, made sure that no one messed with him. Yet, he was laid-back and had a great sense of humor. I learned that when he tagged-teamed with his buddy, Michael Johns, during the summer of the American Idol tour,” David took a moment, forcing himself to look at his audience and putting on a fake smile. He decided that he could just smile for this second maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. He actually heard a couple of soft chuckles from various people. Some people smiled also. David looked back down his reading, his smile fading away and a frown tugging at his lips.
“I have to tell you-and I bet most of you know this already-David was one of my best friends. He always had my back, especially on performance nights when I could feel nervous butterflies twitter all around in my stomach. He always told me just to relax, sing with all you have, and focus on the song. Find my spot on that stage and sing my heart out. If you worry about judges, it’ll just make you be bad. So don’t worry about that stuff too much. David was one of the nicest guys I knew, and just wanted to be kind to everyone. I still look back on finale night, when after he was announced the winner. He turned right to me, and hugged me, and told me he loved me. That moment, I was just so proud of him, that he actually won. I was extremely happy he won, and I was expecting it. Than, there was the ac-accident…” David, remembering the horrifying night like it was yesterday. Out of all the phone calls he could get…this phone call had changed his life forever. He still could play the audio back in his head, a broken record that never stopped playing.
David sat quietly in his bed room in his Los Angeles house, enjoying the tranquility of a peaceful night-something he hadn’t had in ages. Dressed clad in green flannel pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt, David sat up-right on his soft bed, blankets pulled up to his waist. Having a random TV channel on, David had his laptop resting on his, well, lap, surfing the web. He read some of his myspace comments on his official channel, smiling at all the nice comments, most of them people asking if he had a good time on tour and just saying thank you. He was comfortable and happy.
I’m not going to write you a love song
‘Cause you tell me
It’s make or break me
If you’re on your way
Hearing his Sara Barielles ring tone fill the air, he grabbed his iPhone and looked at the caller ID. The name ‘Michael Johns’ flashed across the screen, with his number underneath. Why was Michael calling him at this time of the night? This had to be really important. David pressed the ‘accept’ button, bringing his phone to his ear.
“Hello?” David said into the receiver, putting the television on mute so he could hear the person on the other line.
“David…” Michael responded to David and only Michael saying his name told him that something was wrong. His tone of voice, how distressed and miserable he sounded. Something bad had happened, he just had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that something wasn’t right. Gulping hard and face holding a confused and questioning look, David decided to say something.
“What’s the matter, what happened?” David asked frantically into the phone, fearing how Michael was going to reply.
“I don’t know how to tell you this…” Michael spoke again, sounding distant yet somehow still there. His mind was else where and David knew.
“Michael, please just tell me, you’re scaring me!” David just about yelled into the phone, his stomach doing nervous flip-flops. He was met with silence, painfully slow silence.
“He’s gone.” The voice on the other side said. Hearing the words made David dizzy. Putting a shaking hand on the bed to steady himself David made himself start breathing again. He felt bile rise in his throat.
“No…no that’s not true you’re lying…you’re lying!” David was trying to convince Michael, and also himself, that what Michael was saying was false. Though it didn’t seem to do much help.
One week ago, David Cook had been admitted to the hospital, after a terrible accident left him in a coma. While he was rehearsing for his tour, a light above gave it up came crashing to the floor. Inevitably, Cook was standing under the light when it happened and he was hit hard in the head, automatically knocked unconscious. His condition didn’t seem to be improving, yet didn’t worsen either. Apparently, today he made a turn for the worst and it all came crashing down.
“He’s dead…Cook’s dead.” Michael stated, his voice shaking horribly. David dropped his phone on the bed, not being to bear taking it any longer. Silently, he walked into the bathroom, his stomach threatening to release at any moment. Once in the room, he switched on his light. He looked at himself, alive and well. It wasn’t fair. Here he was, still living and fine. The exact opposite of Cook. Cook wasn’t fine.
Cook was dead.
The thought had finally been processed, not being able to stomach it, David quickly found himself keeled over, retching terribly into the toilet. It was as if he threw up the bad things in life, they would be gone. But they wouldn’t be gone. They’d still be there, no matter what.
He finally finished, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He walked out of the bathroom and into his bed room, eyes watering. He picked back up his phone, hearing evident sobbing on the other side. David had never seen nor heard Michael cry before. Who knew the death of his ‘partner-in-crime’ could be the cause of it.
“Michael…” David said into the phone, voice cracking. He heard Michael take a deep, shaky breath.
“Y-yeah?” Michael eventually said back.
“He’s…not…dead.” David said almost inaudible, trying one more desperate plea, seeing if it would help anything. He knew the truth, yet it didn’t seem real. None of this seemed real.
Before Michael could respond and break his world down even more, David pressed the ‘call end’ button. Not only did that button end a call. It seemed like it also ended a life. David silently put down his phone, and stared blankly at it. Like as if he stared at the phone, Michael would call him back and tell him he was pulling his leg. Or the doctors made a mistake. Or Cook actually woke up. After staring at his phone for a moment, the room was still uncomfortably silent. The phone didn’t ring. No one was going to call him back.
David picked up the phone, staring hard at it in his hand, before he finally broke down. Clutching the phone tightly in his hand, tears pooled in his eyes and poured down his cheeks. His body began to shake harder than he ever imagined. He buried his face in his pillows in a sorry attempt to muffle the heart shattering cries emitting from him. He was sure that everyone in the hotel could hear him, but he didn’t care. So what if the others could hear him? His best friend just died. No one had any reason at all to try and stop him from being sad. Strangely enough, this was not the first time he cried that day.
“David…?” The priest questioned him, snapping David back to the present. What David didn’t know is that he just stood there for five minutes, quiet with his various emotions in the flashback splashing across his face as they played back in his head. David looked at the priest, putting on a fake smile again.
“Oh…uh…yeah, sorry about that...” David giggled nervously into the microphone, hearing himself echo throughout the church. His face turned a shade of red, before he started reading the eulogy again. Strangely enough, no one knew why he stopped for a while. Many thought he was just nervous or upset. Or he was trying to collect himself and regain his composure again. But his family knew better than that. They knew he was reliving the horrible night he found out his friend died. They had seen him do that many times before, to be talking about David Cook, or anything related to him, he would just fade out and get that same look on his face. They would leave him be, letting him play it out on his own, since they really couldn’t do anything about it.
“But even though now he’s gone, he will always be a part of me. He’s someone you can’t forget. He was the we of me. I’m really happy I got to interact with someone like him, but I’m sad that he’s gone. He’ll surely be missed. I’ve learned that you can’t ask “Why?” ‘Cause most likely, you’re not going to get an answer. There’s no real reason to why someone is gone. They just are. You can’t keep asking “Why?” after they are gone because frankly, you can’t do anything to reverse it. The facts may hurt, but they’re the truth. I’m going to think about that today. I hope you do too. Thank you for your time.” David finished, a numb feeling washing over him. He wasn’t crying at all, actually. He just felt numb. He basically just disconnected from the world, leaving him in his own world.
“Thank you David. May we all now join hands and say the Lord’s Prayer?” The priest said, everyone getting to their feet once more, taking hands with the people the next to them. David locked his hands with his little sister, Amber, and his brother, Daniel. They both gave him comforting smiles. He didn’t smile back, though. Daniel looked around his brother quickly, to look directly at his little sister.
“I hope he’ll be okay.” Daniel mouthed Amber, making sure David didn’t see him. Luckily, he didn’t.
“Me too.” Amber simply mouthed back, as everyone in the church went into the Our Father in unison.
After they finally made it out of that dreaded church, they began to go to the cemetery, everyone following the car in front of them with their lights and blinkers on. David decided to drive his own car to the cemetery so he could stay for as long as he pleased. You may think he would want to get out of there as fast he possibly could, running in the opposite direction, never looking back. Though, he didn’t want to do that at all. He wanted to sit there and think. Think about…life. How sometimes it just wasn’t fair. How sometimes you just can’t win. How sometimes you shouldn’t ask why something happened, just be happy it did.
This was nothing to be happy about.
As they pulled into the parking lot the sky was becoming darker and gloomier. There were evident signs of rain in the sky. David got out of his car, looking up at the briefly. It was almost scary how the weather perfectly reflected his mood. Dark… miserable... depressed.
Everyone approached where Cook was going to be buried, as the priest stood nearby. The thought of David Cook actually being buried, stowed away in the ground forever, made David shudder violently. His own friend that he shared a brotherly love relationship with was being put in the ground. That’s what they do to you when you’re dead though. Everyone finally made it to the grave, surrounding the rectangular hole that was dug out of the ground. In came the same six men from before, carrying the casket once again.
David finally caught a glimpse of someone he hadn’t spoken to all day, which surprised him. It was Cook’s mother. Cook’s mother stood there surrounded by comforting friends hand over her mouth as she bawled loudly. She had been like that all day and that was one of the reasons why David willed himself not to cry today. He figured since many more people around him were suffering, just like him, he wanted to be one of the strong ones. Also the reason why he put on this fake smile even though he was hurting, with that strong, throbbing pain, on the inside. This pain spread through his nerve endings, sent to all parts of his body, carried through his blood stream, and it radiated off of him, though he masked it with that fake smile. As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn’t. People could take one look at him, and look right through his obvious transparency, and would know he was hurting. But no one said anything.
David felt a hand clap on his shoulder, so he turned around to see who had done it. It turned out to be a red-eyed Aussie, known as Michael Johns. He tiredly ran a hand through his dark brown, thick hair, before giving David a weak smile. David did nothing, said nothing, and just stared at him. He didn’t want to respond.
“You know, Cook said something to me before he went away.” Michael said softly into David’s ear, so only David could hear him. David looked at him bewildered, eye brows knitting together as he looked at Michael.
“What did he say?” David asked, in a voice he couldn’t even tell was his or not. Instead of his happy, go-lucky tone, was replaced with a raspy and troubled one. Even Michael raised his eyebrows slightly at the unusual sound of it.
“He said, ‘And remember, I am always with until the end of time.’ which I really don’t get at all.” Michael explained, as he tried to rack his brain to what it could possibly mean. David was confused for a second, but suddenly realized what it was, as he heard an involuntary gasp escape him. Michael looked down at him, a questioning look upon his features. David looked up at him, and he felt his eyes starting to swim. No, he wouldn’t cry.
“…I know what that means.” David said quietly. Michael raised his eyebrows for the second time in less than a span of two minutes. David took this as a cue for an explanation.
“That quote is from the bible. Matthew 28:20… ‘Remember, I am with you always until the end of time.’…I read that to him, Michael! I didn’t know he remembered.” David said, hearing his voice becoming choked as he spoke. Michael listened intently, before responding to this statement.
“I didn’t know that’s where it was from.” Michael said simply, before their attention was brought back to the situation at hand. The priest had cleared his throat and that signaled the beginning of the service. Everyone listened silently, even though the rain soaked everyone to the bone, causing people to shiver while the service took place.
David felt another person come up behind and rub his shoulder gently. Turning around, he saw his mother standing behind him. Her dark brown hair was clinging to her cheek, her eyes with a sad look present in them. There he went again plastering another fake smile on his face in a feeble attempt to hide his pain.
“Hey sweetie…” Lupe, his mother, greeted him while putting her arms around him because she knew he needed it.
“Hi Mom…” David said back to her, hugging her back. His mother’s arms offered him warmth, comfort and love. Love…what everybody needed right now.
“It all will be okay.” David’s mother said, as she rubbed her hand up and down David’s back. She decided not ask ‘How are you doing?’ because she already knew the answer. She knew that he wasn’t doing well. She knew he wanted his brother back. So they weren’t related, but it didn’t change how much David loved Cook as his own sibling. Not that Cook was gone it stung badly like a fresh, raw cut you get hand sanitizer in.
“How do you know?” David questioned quietly. Lupe looked at her son, running her hand through his soft, black hair.
“Because I know what you’re going through. I remember I lost my brother when I was around your age, and I was devastated. But he is always with me, and he’s watching over me. Now Cook is watching over you.” Lupe stated, but before she could do much more, she was interrupted by the priest.
“Let the body of David Roland Cook rest in piece, and may his soul be put to rest.” The priest said, closing his prayer book. Many people scrambled to get out of the rain, scurrying to their assorted cars. Lupe looked at everyone rushing around, and she knew she had to leave with David’s other siblings and her husband.
“You’ll be okay as the pain eases after a while. But you’ll never forget him. I love you.” Lupe said to him, leaning up to kiss his forehead. David looked at his mother.
“I love you too.” David said softly to her, before she kissed her cheek. Lupe gave hi one last smile, before she went with the rest of David’s family to the car. He watched as they all got in and drove off, leaving David in the middle of the cemetery by himself, with Cook’s casket still graveside.
Time could heal everything, right? David wasn’t too sure.
~TBC~