(no subject)
I hate that I can't find the words to say about so many things that need to be the adressed.
Well here I go, ready or not
~1~
I don't know why but I feel untrusted. By one of my closest friends. Something happened, something changed. No more phone calls, emails, IM's, communication between us has almost completely halted. I've tried to IM a few times, yet it seems as though I am not trusted. Everytime it's as though there is nothing to say, even though I know we are capable of talking for hours.
Everytime I think about it, it feels as though I'm dealing with failure, and failure on a large scale. Have I failed as a friend? Was it my fault? Both of ours? Surely it can't be 100% me because there has been no attempt of communication from the other.
My life feels _________ now. I don't know what word to put in there, but it would be something along the lines of lonley or empty.
~2~
I've found in my life a reoccuring theme. The people I get most attached to are actually out of reach. In more ways than one.
Krystal. I love you, hands down, unconditional. I may be a mess and screw everything up with you at times, but I seriously love every bit of you. You've helped me through so much, you are my guiding light. I'm so happy that you are finally happy. There's a love there that I will hopefully understand.
Sass, I don't know when I'll see you again, it's rather sporadic, but you are a huge influence on my "just do it" attitude. I've never met anyone who just up and does something because they want to until you. oy, I strive to live on the wind like you do.
Jumanah, I can't figure out the attraction, but I am not one to argue with how I feel. When I think of you it's as though I have a bottle of liquid sunshine keeping me warm. You illuminate. It's marvelous.
oy! there are others, but for another time.
~Charley
Well here I go, ready or not
~1~
I don't know why but I feel untrusted. By one of my closest friends. Something happened, something changed. No more phone calls, emails, IM's, communication between us has almost completely halted. I've tried to IM a few times, yet it seems as though I am not trusted. Everytime it's as though there is nothing to say, even though I know we are capable of talking for hours.
Everytime I think about it, it feels as though I'm dealing with failure, and failure on a large scale. Have I failed as a friend? Was it my fault? Both of ours? Surely it can't be 100% me because there has been no attempt of communication from the other.
My life feels _________ now. I don't know what word to put in there, but it would be something along the lines of lonley or empty.
~2~
I've found in my life a reoccuring theme. The people I get most attached to are actually out of reach. In more ways than one.
Krystal. I love you, hands down, unconditional. I may be a mess and screw everything up with you at times, but I seriously love every bit of you. You've helped me through so much, you are my guiding light. I'm so happy that you are finally happy. There's a love there that I will hopefully understand.
Sass, I don't know when I'll see you again, it's rather sporadic, but you are a huge influence on my "just do it" attitude. I've never met anyone who just up and does something because they want to until you. oy, I strive to live on the wind like you do.
Jumanah, I can't figure out the attraction, but I am not one to argue with how I feel. When I think of you it's as though I have a bottle of liquid sunshine keeping me warm. You illuminate. It's marvelous.
oy! there are others, but for another time.
~Charley