sometimes...

[churchgirl513]

sometimes in the morning
i am petrified and can’t move

sometimes on days like this
when it’s cold outside
and not nearly sunny enough
when i sit in class
and don’t speak
when i feel depressed
and can’t stop myself from shaking

these are the days when i feel the most alone

and i begin to question everything that i care about

all of my thoughts
and feelings
and even my faith
everything i have ever loved
every time i have ever cried

and i start to believe that
maybe everything i would use to define myself
is nothing more than a function of
a severe mental illness