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wow! i feel so down..so depressed..i feel like doing something stupid...like going over the edge..but i cant..too many ppl care..i want to explode..so many feelings inside. i dont know what to do how to act. does she care. does she really love me. or does she say it to get me to leave her alone. im a nobody. a nothin. a blank face in the crowd. should i do what i want. should i go through with it. it wouldnt be the first time. probably wont be the last. why did i have to get this life. why cant i have hers. she is beautiful. family loves her. cares about her. cant i be loved. im done bein fake. im not happy. and now im going to go deal with it.