breaking heads and breaking patterns
i'm going to be honest here. real honest.
i'm angry. incredibly angry.
not just right now- but in general.
at what?
not knowing my asshole dad, or even having him care? sure.
having to suffer through molestation? sure.
having to suffer through molestation... again? sure.
being passed my grandma's fat gene? sure.
suffering her criticism for that same fat gene? sure.
at my mom's alcoholic ex-boyfriend, who pretty much ruined our lives? sure.
at a college full of hypocrites? sure.
at myself for not knowing fully who i am? sure.
it really doesn't matter why... what matters is that i am.
because right now...
i'm actually just angry because i had a bad day.
it builds up, and people fuck me...
and then my head explodes.
i have to rub my hands through my hair, squeeze the nape of my neck...
keep my hands busy. and even then, i punch the ceiling of my car.
all because i had to wait 15 mins.
sometimes my words are far more vicious than my fists could ever be.
my rage is something that even my boss has come to fear.
you should hear some of the things i've said during a trivia game turned bad.
the anger lives and breathes on it's own though...
it feeds every day on the shittiness of others.
i just need to get in a good fist fight...
anyone think they can take me?
i'm angry. incredibly angry.
not just right now- but in general.
at what?
not knowing my asshole dad, or even having him care? sure.
having to suffer through molestation? sure.
having to suffer through molestation... again? sure.
being passed my grandma's fat gene? sure.
suffering her criticism for that same fat gene? sure.
at my mom's alcoholic ex-boyfriend, who pretty much ruined our lives? sure.
at a college full of hypocrites? sure.
at myself for not knowing fully who i am? sure.
it really doesn't matter why... what matters is that i am.
because right now...
i'm actually just angry because i had a bad day.
it builds up, and people fuck me...
and then my head explodes.
i have to rub my hands through my hair, squeeze the nape of my neck...
keep my hands busy. and even then, i punch the ceiling of my car.
all because i had to wait 15 mins.
sometimes my words are far more vicious than my fists could ever be.
my rage is something that even my boss has come to fear.
you should hear some of the things i've said during a trivia game turned bad.
the anger lives and breathes on it's own though...
it feeds every day on the shittiness of others.
i just need to get in a good fist fight...
anyone think they can take me?