Happy New Year!!!
Ok so let me start off by saying: Hi, I know it's been a while but I have a lot of shit to tell of y'all. You won't believe some of the stuff that has happened between Kenny and me or anything else that's going on for that matter. Let me mention some of my New Year's revelutions...
1. Lose between 20 to 30 lbs by summer
2. Get my license
3. Get a car
4. Take a tour of CCMT in Groton by the end of this year
5. Tell Kenny every day how much I really love him (that's not hard to do)
6. Figure out where I'm going in life
7. Become more out going
8. Work on my dancing skills
9. Hang out more with the people who will always be there...my family
10. Get rid or my low self-esteem
Ok so now let me go into last night. Kenny and I hung out. I stayed over at his house. Things got a little rough. We rung in the new year both crying hard. He couldn't understand why I stay with him. He didn't get that I love him so much that I don't want to let him go. I held him and he was saying what shitty boyfriend he is because he feels that he neglects me for the game and I told him he wasn't at all, that I didn't care. He said he had no good qualities. I simply stated that he has lots of good qualities. I mentioned some...like for instance "you care about me, and you love me." I went on to say you make me laugh and you're the first boyfriend that hasn't abused me or put me down in any way. Last night it was like our love was renaud. He told me that I was everything he's hoped for and more. I started crying all over again. I told him not to leave me, and he said that he would try. A little after that he said I could never leave you. We laid around all day basically. Last night he reminded me of why I feel the way I do about him. He's finally opening up to me. When he was crying I was trying to calm him down and I said "shhh...it's ok I'm not going anywhere" He cried more. We're so close now. I feel it. We're going to go on. I know it now. We're going to get married to each other. I know this because I can feel it. He's the one regardless of what he says. lol.
Now to move on to work. There's nothing much to say there. I'm sick of everyone trying to figure me out. There's nothing for them to figure out. I'm starting to come out of my shell a lot more though. I joke around in sexual ways with a lot of people now. It doesn't really bother me too much. My face turns red a lot. Oh well. Vikki is supposed to talk to Patrick for me and see if he thinks I'm a snob or whatever. I don't really care anymore about him. I mean yeah he's ok, but I'm not interested. I guess I should be going for now. I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. See y'all in 2005...even though we're already here. All I need is my lover. I'll love Kenny forever and ever!
1. Lose between 20 to 30 lbs by summer
2. Get my license
3. Get a car
4. Take a tour of CCMT in Groton by the end of this year
5. Tell Kenny every day how much I really love him (that's not hard to do)
6. Figure out where I'm going in life
7. Become more out going
8. Work on my dancing skills
9. Hang out more with the people who will always be there...my family
10. Get rid or my low self-esteem
Ok so now let me go into last night. Kenny and I hung out. I stayed over at his house. Things got a little rough. We rung in the new year both crying hard. He couldn't understand why I stay with him. He didn't get that I love him so much that I don't want to let him go. I held him and he was saying what shitty boyfriend he is because he feels that he neglects me for the game and I told him he wasn't at all, that I didn't care. He said he had no good qualities. I simply stated that he has lots of good qualities. I mentioned some...like for instance "you care about me, and you love me." I went on to say you make me laugh and you're the first boyfriend that hasn't abused me or put me down in any way. Last night it was like our love was renaud. He told me that I was everything he's hoped for and more. I started crying all over again. I told him not to leave me, and he said that he would try. A little after that he said I could never leave you. We laid around all day basically. Last night he reminded me of why I feel the way I do about him. He's finally opening up to me. When he was crying I was trying to calm him down and I said "shhh...it's ok I'm not going anywhere" He cried more. We're so close now. I feel it. We're going to go on. I know it now. We're going to get married to each other. I know this because I can feel it. He's the one regardless of what he says. lol.
Now to move on to work. There's nothing much to say there. I'm sick of everyone trying to figure me out. There's nothing for them to figure out. I'm starting to come out of my shell a lot more though. I joke around in sexual ways with a lot of people now. It doesn't really bother me too much. My face turns red a lot. Oh well. Vikki is supposed to talk to Patrick for me and see if he thinks I'm a snob or whatever. I don't really care anymore about him. I mean yeah he's ok, but I'm not interested. I guess I should be going for now. I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. See y'all in 2005...even though we're already here. All I need is my lover. I'll love Kenny forever and ever!