changes just in time for the holidays.
i like to piss off Alexis sometimes. is that bad? i love her, we're
great friends, but the dynamic is just fun to playfully piss her off...
so i officially stressed all day, and now i am not working on the tons of work i have to do but instead writing completely random and non important yet mysteriously interesting things, at least to me
if you can't fart in front of true friends, who can you fart around??? i hope i grossed everyone out with that.
and okay, so i was working on my chemistry coursepack to get ready for my exam tomorrow and i went into talk to my lab professor Masato Koreeda (great name huh?) and i began realized how fun chemistry is and i got really into it, he was showing me all this cool stuff and i remembered chemistry in high school with mrs brazil and how i used to love that class and how excited she would get about molecules and atoms.... masato (yeah we're on a first name basis, you know how i do) is just like that, he spends hours, 8am to 10pm in the chem building, he's there all weekend, he never leaves, he never stops helping people with a class he doesn't even teach. i loved it. do i really like chemistry or am i just obsessed with people who love their job, thus making me in turn interested in the same subject? i thought i wanted to do environmental stuff but days like today makes me question that.... i dont know anymore....
i guess its a fake hahaha non philosophical question, but can i live my life without science and chemistry? seriously, can i do environment and pass up such cool stuff as reactions and labs and geeky cool people who are into science like i am?
and this also affirms how i feel about changing myself, on my own terms. i need to stop drinking so much and chill out, i need to imerse myself in school and love what i study so that it is fun and interesting and not the bain of my existence at 3 in the morning. not that i dont love staying up til the wee hours....
i need to work out so i feel in shape, not to be in shape necessarily but to feel healthy and get outdoors more. going out is great. but i miss out on talking to people. actually talking, im sick of dazing and chatting and flirting and smiling and i just wanna organize my life a little, and be happy with myself. and be confident that i dont need to drink and go out all the time and be loved. i just wanna be a better person, a little bit better anyways. and be happier, all the time not just random times when im getting lucky. thats what i need to do. and then maybe life will fall into place and make a little more sense.
am i every originally crazy anymore? what happened to singing out loud in the middle of the day and running around and goofing off? if growning up requires that i leave that behind then i want none of this business. or do i just not anymore because i am chaning into a duller and more plain/boring/studius/uncreative person. let us hope i can remedy this......
so i officially stressed all day, and now i am not working on the tons of work i have to do but instead writing completely random and non important yet mysteriously interesting things, at least to me
if you can't fart in front of true friends, who can you fart around??? i hope i grossed everyone out with that.
and okay, so i was working on my chemistry coursepack to get ready for my exam tomorrow and i went into talk to my lab professor Masato Koreeda (great name huh?) and i began realized how fun chemistry is and i got really into it, he was showing me all this cool stuff and i remembered chemistry in high school with mrs brazil and how i used to love that class and how excited she would get about molecules and atoms.... masato (yeah we're on a first name basis, you know how i do) is just like that, he spends hours, 8am to 10pm in the chem building, he's there all weekend, he never leaves, he never stops helping people with a class he doesn't even teach. i loved it. do i really like chemistry or am i just obsessed with people who love their job, thus making me in turn interested in the same subject? i thought i wanted to do environmental stuff but days like today makes me question that.... i dont know anymore....
i guess its a fake hahaha non philosophical question, but can i live my life without science and chemistry? seriously, can i do environment and pass up such cool stuff as reactions and labs and geeky cool people who are into science like i am?
and this also affirms how i feel about changing myself, on my own terms. i need to stop drinking so much and chill out, i need to imerse myself in school and love what i study so that it is fun and interesting and not the bain of my existence at 3 in the morning. not that i dont love staying up til the wee hours....
i need to work out so i feel in shape, not to be in shape necessarily but to feel healthy and get outdoors more. going out is great. but i miss out on talking to people. actually talking, im sick of dazing and chatting and flirting and smiling and i just wanna organize my life a little, and be happy with myself. and be confident that i dont need to drink and go out all the time and be loved. i just wanna be a better person, a little bit better anyways. and be happier, all the time not just random times when im getting lucky. thats what i need to do. and then maybe life will fall into place and make a little more sense.
am i every originally crazy anymore? what happened to singing out loud in the middle of the day and running around and goofing off? if growning up requires that i leave that behind then i want none of this business. or do i just not anymore because i am chaning into a duller and more plain/boring/studius/uncreative person. let us hope i can remedy this......