That is an astoundingly sympathetic response, the likes of which you rarely see. And of course you're right, you don't know whether things will get better or not. Life is a bitch. A fucking horrible bitch.
This reminds me that I wanted to pipe in when one of your friends made this comment on a recent post of yours:
Things will get better for you. You just need to look at things as a lesson. Your learning slowly by slowly and things will get better if you focus enough. Always be thankful for what you do have and always do good things for others. What you send out comes back!
I really wanted to take her to task for that, but I figured it wasn't my business and it wasn't what you needed to hear then. Still, I'd like to know on exactly what she's basing the statement that things WILL get better. I wanted her to understand exactly how spectacularly unfair it is to suggest that a person's hardships are simply a consequence of their lack of learning, their failure to focus. I especially like the idea that "what you send out comes back." That really, really doesn't mesh with my close observations of the world around me, in which selfish, awful, psychopathic people get virtually whatever they want, and people who give of themselves at every turn get nothing but fucked. I mean, I may not be as good a person as I think I am, and I'm certainly not as good a person as I used to be, but Christ, I know I haven't done any of the deliberate wrong that has been done by people who report themselves to be happy and secure.
I've honestly never understood this bullshit about suicide being a "selfish act." To be doing something selfish, you must be doing something from which you stand to benefit. How does a person stand to benefit from an act that makes that person stop existing? Is it supposed to be a matter of abandoning the people who care about you? Well one of the impulses behind suicide is certainly loneliness, and I can confidently say that those people are few and far between, and even to the extent that they exist, my life does not and cannot do anything positive for them. The most significant effect I can have is to be a burden, and I think a lot of people who do commit suicide do so on the assumption that others will be better off without them.
In all likelihood, I am still a very long way from actually taking that step myself. The most drastic thing I might actually be pushed into is a willful acceptance of homelessness. I'm probably just strong enough to court my own death, but not strong enough to take hold of it. But God only knows what measures of subsistence I'll be willing to take before I get there. In the meantime, of course you can sway me one way or the other, but you're quite good at expressing the only thing that means anything at all, which is understanding, sympathy, and acceptance.
I'd like to know what people base the assumption of "things will get better" on as well. I mean, it's fine to believe that, hope it, wish it, dream it, whatever--but it doesn't always happen.
I try my best, man. I really do. I'm not gonna spoon-feed you some stupid feel-good platitudes because I'd wager a guess that that's not what you want to hear right now, if not ever again. I don't like it when people do it to me, so I'm not gonna do it to anybody else--unless that's what they want, since, y'know, some people are super sensitive these days.
This reminds me that I wanted to pipe in when one of your friends made this comment on a recent post of yours:
Things will get better for you. You just need to look at things as a lesson. Your learning slowly by slowly and things will get better if you focus enough. Always be thankful for what you do have and always do good things for others. What you send out comes back!
I really wanted to take her to task for that, but I figured it wasn't my business and it wasn't what you needed to hear then. Still, I'd like to know on exactly what she's basing the statement that things WILL get better. I wanted her to understand exactly how spectacularly unfair it is to suggest that a person's hardships are simply a consequence of their lack of learning, their failure to focus. I especially like the idea that "what you send out comes back." That really, really doesn't mesh with my close observations of the world around me, in which selfish, awful, psychopathic people get virtually whatever they want, and people who give of themselves at every turn get nothing but fucked. I mean, I may not be as good a person as I think I am, and I'm certainly not as good a person as I used to be, but Christ, I know I haven't done any of the deliberate wrong that has been done by people who report themselves to be happy and secure.
I've honestly never understood this bullshit about suicide being a "selfish act." To be doing something selfish, you must be doing something from which you stand to benefit. How does a person stand to benefit from an act that makes that person stop existing? Is it supposed to be a matter of abandoning the people who care about you? Well one of the impulses behind suicide is certainly loneliness, and I can confidently say that those people are few and far between, and even to the extent that they exist, my life does not and cannot do anything positive for them. The most significant effect I can have is to be a burden, and I think a lot of people who do commit suicide do so on the assumption that others will be better off without them.
In all likelihood, I am still a very long way from actually taking that step myself. The most drastic thing I might actually be pushed into is a willful acceptance of homelessness. I'm probably just strong enough to court my own death, but not strong enough to take hold of it. But God only knows what measures of subsistence I'll be willing to take before I get there. In the meantime, of course you can sway me one way or the other, but you're quite good at expressing the only thing that means anything at all, which is understanding, sympathy, and acceptance.
Reply
I try my best, man. I really do. I'm not gonna spoon-feed you some stupid feel-good platitudes because I'd wager a guess that that's not what you want to hear right now, if not ever again. I don't like it when people do it to me, so I'm not gonna do it to anybody else--unless that's what they want, since, y'know, some people are super sensitive these days.
Sorry for late reply. :(
Reply
Leave a comment