Drinky Drinky
So, apparently, I'm a drunk.
Well, at least that's what some of my friends think.
That's fine.
I will admit that over the past two years, my drinking has increased.
But shit, I had a lot going on over the last two years.
(this is the part that sounds like excuses)
Anyways, I don't drink during the week.
I drink on weekends and really only when I go out with friends.
But ah, there is the problem. I go out on say Saturday night to CC;s.
and if you've been to CC's you know their drinks are strong. At least that's what I'm told. I don't think they are. I can knock those back pretty easy. And I don't have a hangover the next day.
Maybe that's my super power. I can suck down a CC's Vodka/Tonic in the blink of an eye.
It's not difficult. I don't feel like I'm "making" myself do it.
I do know that I have let myself get drunk.
Why not? It's fun.
But this is what I don't like.
I've gotten to a point where I'm getting mean (granted bitchy gay sarcasm, but crossing over into mean). And messy. And not remembering things that happened.
I don't mind being an ass and I don't mind being drunk.
I don't like not having some semblance of control.
I think my worst was about a year ago and I've been watching it, but I think I let it get too easy to get drunk and just go for it.
I admit it, I let down my guard. I get really flirty (and dirty) and guys are flirting back.
It's fun.
But I don't need that and I don't want to have my friends be concerned.
So, I'm cutting back.
I've done it before I can do it again.
It's not a big deal and I can do with cutting out the extra calories.
First goal is just to stop drinking.
So, no alcohol until Thanksgiving.
Sorry, I'm not going to cut out alcohol forever, that's stupid.
I think when you deny yourself something completely, you empower it even more.
So, I'll go with a short time period, see how I do, maybe lose some weight and go from there.
After that, hopefully, my life will be more in order and I won't feel the "need" (for lack of a better word) to escape.
Anyways, I'm not trying to make this a big deal. Last time I cut out alcohol (doctor was testing me for diabetes and needed me off alcohol for a few weeks) it was very odd. And with that, more in people's reactions. People get very "oh!...well, um. ok"
Whatever.
So, i'm keeping this more on the downlow and eventually people will notice.
Now, I'm giving myself a reprieve when Thomas comes to visit next week, but even with that, it will be highly curtailed.
Well, at least that's what some of my friends think.
That's fine.
I will admit that over the past two years, my drinking has increased.
But shit, I had a lot going on over the last two years.
(this is the part that sounds like excuses)
Anyways, I don't drink during the week.
I drink on weekends and really only when I go out with friends.
But ah, there is the problem. I go out on say Saturday night to CC;s.
and if you've been to CC's you know their drinks are strong. At least that's what I'm told. I don't think they are. I can knock those back pretty easy. And I don't have a hangover the next day.
Maybe that's my super power. I can suck down a CC's Vodka/Tonic in the blink of an eye.
It's not difficult. I don't feel like I'm "making" myself do it.
I do know that I have let myself get drunk.
Why not? It's fun.
But this is what I don't like.
I've gotten to a point where I'm getting mean (granted bitchy gay sarcasm, but crossing over into mean). And messy. And not remembering things that happened.
I don't mind being an ass and I don't mind being drunk.
I don't like not having some semblance of control.
I think my worst was about a year ago and I've been watching it, but I think I let it get too easy to get drunk and just go for it.
I admit it, I let down my guard. I get really flirty (and dirty) and guys are flirting back.
It's fun.
But I don't need that and I don't want to have my friends be concerned.
So, I'm cutting back.
I've done it before I can do it again.
It's not a big deal and I can do with cutting out the extra calories.
First goal is just to stop drinking.
So, no alcohol until Thanksgiving.
Sorry, I'm not going to cut out alcohol forever, that's stupid.
I think when you deny yourself something completely, you empower it even more.
So, I'll go with a short time period, see how I do, maybe lose some weight and go from there.
After that, hopefully, my life will be more in order and I won't feel the "need" (for lack of a better word) to escape.
Anyways, I'm not trying to make this a big deal. Last time I cut out alcohol (doctor was testing me for diabetes and needed me off alcohol for a few weeks) it was very odd. And with that, more in people's reactions. People get very "oh!...well, um. ok"
Whatever.
So, i'm keeping this more on the downlow and eventually people will notice.
Now, I'm giving myself a reprieve when Thomas comes to visit next week, but even with that, it will be highly curtailed.