JHVH-1 CO© & PARTNERS®
"Dear Sir/Madam,
REQUEST FOR AN URGENT BUSINESS COMMUNION
This e-mail must come to you as a surprise, but we at JHVH-1 CO© have long believed that it only takes a day to become business partners. We understand your apprehension at receiving this message, it's not every day that the forces of creation meander to your inbox. We contact you with peaceful tidings and not to, like, stress you out or nothing. We at The Source have been working for quite a while to bring the universe up to snuff and so far we're quite pleased with how everything has turned out, there's all sorts of cool stuff we've squirrled away in here. You may have noticed a few changes around the place, some species being discovered, a few billion new spirits, and some potentially earth shattering discoveries regarding the fundamental properties of the universe. ("The devil is in the details," as we like to say!) We hope you've been enjoying what we've released so far, as we think it's some of our best work yet, but today we've come to talk about something different, an opportunity for you to get in on the ground floor of an exciting new opportunity!
Sl4ck, as we've come to calling it here around the office, is the latest Beta build of what we think will be a very exciting new product.
Unfortunately, "Bob", our representative, has passed away this last Saturday, 16 June 2005, following a rather tumultuous rebirth. He was a pretty alright fellow and we'll miss him until he comes back, which should be anytime now.
When he was crucified, for the fifth time, we decided to begin building a new system of Enlightenment, unlike anything ever sold before. While we were very excited to begin rolling out our new product, we found that "Bob" had stashed over $14,899,000.00 USD of our Most Sacred Symbols at the "Trustco" Bank. You can imagine how upset we were when they told us the funds would only be released to a Family Member. (and that's how George W Bush won two Presidential terms)
We are writing to you, as a member of humanity, that you may contact "Trustco" in the capacity of an Extended Family Member to put up a claim to this Sacred Pile Of Dough. We propose that 50% be made payment for your work and the other 50% be returned to us, the creators of all matter, which we plan on using to begin a shelter for Slackless children. After you've wired us the money, we can discuss your eternal salvation, remarkably well-priced for an eternity of not-pain, at $7,449,500.00 USD.
To facilitate the process of immediate transfer of these Funs to your bank account, simply reply by e-mail so we can discuss the details. Rest assured that as Creator, we have divine right in this manner and everything will be according to law. We would like to assure you that, of course, yes, everything is quite alright and that this plan is absolutely foolproof. We can have the funds transferred within 13 days after you've replied to our e-mail.
Trust us, we wouldn't lie to you.
Be Seeing You,
JHVH-1 CO© & PARTNERS®"
REQUEST FOR AN URGENT BUSINESS COMMUNION
This e-mail must come to you as a surprise, but we at JHVH-1 CO© have long believed that it only takes a day to become business partners. We understand your apprehension at receiving this message, it's not every day that the forces of creation meander to your inbox. We contact you with peaceful tidings and not to, like, stress you out or nothing. We at The Source have been working for quite a while to bring the universe up to snuff and so far we're quite pleased with how everything has turned out, there's all sorts of cool stuff we've squirrled away in here. You may have noticed a few changes around the place, some species being discovered, a few billion new spirits, and some potentially earth shattering discoveries regarding the fundamental properties of the universe. ("The devil is in the details," as we like to say!) We hope you've been enjoying what we've released so far, as we think it's some of our best work yet, but today we've come to talk about something different, an opportunity for you to get in on the ground floor of an exciting new opportunity!
Sl4ck, as we've come to calling it here around the office, is the latest Beta build of what we think will be a very exciting new product.
Unfortunately, "Bob", our representative, has passed away this last Saturday, 16 June 2005, following a rather tumultuous rebirth. He was a pretty alright fellow and we'll miss him until he comes back, which should be anytime now.
When he was crucified, for the fifth time, we decided to begin building a new system of Enlightenment, unlike anything ever sold before. While we were very excited to begin rolling out our new product, we found that "Bob" had stashed over $14,899,000.00 USD of our Most Sacred Symbols at the "Trustco" Bank. You can imagine how upset we were when they told us the funds would only be released to a Family Member. (and that's how George W Bush won two Presidential terms)
We are writing to you, as a member of humanity, that you may contact "Trustco" in the capacity of an Extended Family Member to put up a claim to this Sacred Pile Of Dough. We propose that 50% be made payment for your work and the other 50% be returned to us, the creators of all matter, which we plan on using to begin a shelter for Slackless children. After you've wired us the money, we can discuss your eternal salvation, remarkably well-priced for an eternity of not-pain, at $7,449,500.00 USD.
To facilitate the process of immediate transfer of these Funs to your bank account, simply reply by e-mail so we can discuss the details. Rest assured that as Creator, we have divine right in this manner and everything will be according to law. We would like to assure you that, of course, yes, everything is quite alright and that this plan is absolutely foolproof. We can have the funds transferred within 13 days after you've replied to our e-mail.
Trust us, we wouldn't lie to you.
Be Seeing You,
JHVH-1 CO© & PARTNERS®"