fleeting
I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I suddenly recognized the fact that I do not have any rhythm at work. Sabi nga ng nanay ko para kong hinahabol ng demonyo pag nagsimula na kong magtrabaho. Like in every other aspect of my life, once I gain momentum it is so difficult for me to stop. Getting a second wind to me is as natural as opening Microsoft outlook once I am in front of a computer, any computer. Yesterday after dancing salsa for 4 straight hours and going shopping (yes nakuha ko pang magshopping ng slight), I went to G’s for dinner. Ang drama ko, sobra kong pagod at talaga namang hindi ko na nararamdaman ang mga binti ko. But after I took a shower I was running around the kitchen with him, I was even convincing him that I should start cleaning the grill.
Now I sit here at work suffering from running around all morning, answering emails and entertaining absolutely everyone’s questions, I even forgot lunch. My head is throbbing like crazy and I feel like going home already. I never learn.
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May bago akong favorite na tao sa opisina (sarcastic ako), at kasama ko siya sa team. Mahabang istorya, actually year-long storya na to. Kagabi napaniginipan kong sinisante ko siya, ang drama nga e, may background music pa. It felt so fucking good. =)
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I plan to come home on December, the first two weeks. I was not quick enough to get flight tickets for Christmas but at least I managed to book me a stay home on my birthday week. Naiihi ako sa tuwa. However when I found out that more than half of my clan from university is outside the country, medyo nakakapatay ng excitement. I mean, I am still in pure raptures about going home this year but then I will also miss the chance of meeting up with them.
There are nine of us in the coven, Arj, Cons, Jeff, Lei, Pat, Wins, Nini, Jo and me. Arj, Cons and Jeff all work for the same IT consulting firm, Arj is already in Chicago, Jeff apparently is going to Florida in September and Consi to somewhere in the Midwest. Lei is with a big American ketchup company doing brand management in Pittsburgh, Jo is Singapore also doing IT consultancy. Only Nini, Wins and Pat will be left in the Philippines when I come back. As Wins works in marketing and events for a mobile phone giant, I’m afraid that I can only be too lucky if he happens to be in Manila when I come home, his work requires him to run around the Philippines, rub elbows and small talk with real and pseudo celebrities. Pat who works for sales for a processed food/manufacturing company has been recently moved to Davao and Nini also in sales, while stably in Manila as her work is based there, is once in a while somewhere in East Asia on business trips or maybe her boyfriend who also lives outside of the country would decide to take her on a vacation.
It scares me. Somehow you leave and you feel like everything that you left is in a time capsule. Time does not pass in that capsule. That capsule gives you a feeling of security that once you decide to come back and live the old life again, you will be able to. I am totally naïve in this sense although entirely conscious of the fact that things change, in my deepest of hearts I still hope they wouldn’t. Fuck, I even dream of my kid brother as an 8 year old when in fact he’s 23. I even think about my friends in high school as they were on the night of graduation. (Thank God for Friendster, my expectations are less incredible now).
The disconcerting thing is that I know, no matter how hard I wish it not to be, things have changed. I will go back home and my parents would have additional lines on their foreheads and we will have stuff at home I am not familiar with. My friends would have grown up so much and they would recognize that I have too.
Some say it’s a good thing, I want to believe them.
Now I sit here at work suffering from running around all morning, answering emails and entertaining absolutely everyone’s questions, I even forgot lunch. My head is throbbing like crazy and I feel like going home already. I never learn.
----
May bago akong favorite na tao sa opisina (sarcastic ako), at kasama ko siya sa team. Mahabang istorya, actually year-long storya na to. Kagabi napaniginipan kong sinisante ko siya, ang drama nga e, may background music pa. It felt so fucking good. =)
---
I plan to come home on December, the first two weeks. I was not quick enough to get flight tickets for Christmas but at least I managed to book me a stay home on my birthday week. Naiihi ako sa tuwa. However when I found out that more than half of my clan from university is outside the country, medyo nakakapatay ng excitement. I mean, I am still in pure raptures about going home this year but then I will also miss the chance of meeting up with them.
There are nine of us in the coven, Arj, Cons, Jeff, Lei, Pat, Wins, Nini, Jo and me. Arj, Cons and Jeff all work for the same IT consulting firm, Arj is already in Chicago, Jeff apparently is going to Florida in September and Consi to somewhere in the Midwest. Lei is with a big American ketchup company doing brand management in Pittsburgh, Jo is Singapore also doing IT consultancy. Only Nini, Wins and Pat will be left in the Philippines when I come back. As Wins works in marketing and events for a mobile phone giant, I’m afraid that I can only be too lucky if he happens to be in Manila when I come home, his work requires him to run around the Philippines, rub elbows and small talk with real and pseudo celebrities. Pat who works for sales for a processed food/manufacturing company has been recently moved to Davao and Nini also in sales, while stably in Manila as her work is based there, is once in a while somewhere in East Asia on business trips or maybe her boyfriend who also lives outside of the country would decide to take her on a vacation.
It scares me. Somehow you leave and you feel like everything that you left is in a time capsule. Time does not pass in that capsule. That capsule gives you a feeling of security that once you decide to come back and live the old life again, you will be able to. I am totally naïve in this sense although entirely conscious of the fact that things change, in my deepest of hearts I still hope they wouldn’t. Fuck, I even dream of my kid brother as an 8 year old when in fact he’s 23. I even think about my friends in high school as they were on the night of graduation. (Thank God for Friendster, my expectations are less incredible now).
The disconcerting thing is that I know, no matter how hard I wish it not to be, things have changed. I will go back home and my parents would have additional lines on their foreheads and we will have stuff at home I am not familiar with. My friends would have grown up so much and they would recognize that I have too.
Some say it’s a good thing, I want to believe them.