First memories?
I am curious as to whether any of you had any leanings towards feederism when you were a kid? What are some of the first feeder/feedee-related memories that you have?
Me, I used to keep a weight gain/measurement journal, starting from probably in 4th grade. I definitely felt pleasure seeing the measurments get bigger and the numbers on the scale go up. At the same time, I really didn't like myself for being chubby and not being as thin as my classmates.
I also used to wear belts that were too small and tight for me to dinner...I liked the way they continued to get tighter around me as I ate. This started at around that same age--4th grade or so. It was a sexual turn-on, although I didn't recognize it as such as that age.
I remember being fascinated with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I think I read the book and saw the original move when I was around that age. So much about the story resonated with me. I liked to think about the girl who chewed gum that tasted like all different kinds of good food--how much I would like to have gum like that and to be able to chew on it constantly and experience the flavors. I also LOVED that because of her greed she ended up blowing up like a giant balloon. And of course I also loved Augustus Gloop, the fat kid who got to eat junk food all day.
I also used to have this fantasy that started around that age...not a sexual fantasy, but a compelling fantasy nonetheless, of boys with huge bellies bouncing around our school's gymnasium on their big round bellies.
Yes, I was a bizarre kid. :-)
Another question for all of you: do you think feedeerism was something hard-wired into you from birth (either being a feeder OR a feedee or both), or do you think something happened that caused you to become a feeder/feedee, or what???? As I come closer to really accepting that I have these unusual fantasies and strong desires, I can't help but wonder how and why all of this got started.
Me, I used to keep a weight gain/measurement journal, starting from probably in 4th grade. I definitely felt pleasure seeing the measurments get bigger and the numbers on the scale go up. At the same time, I really didn't like myself for being chubby and not being as thin as my classmates.
I also used to wear belts that were too small and tight for me to dinner...I liked the way they continued to get tighter around me as I ate. This started at around that same age--4th grade or so. It was a sexual turn-on, although I didn't recognize it as such as that age.
I remember being fascinated with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I think I read the book and saw the original move when I was around that age. So much about the story resonated with me. I liked to think about the girl who chewed gum that tasted like all different kinds of good food--how much I would like to have gum like that and to be able to chew on it constantly and experience the flavors. I also LOVED that because of her greed she ended up blowing up like a giant balloon. And of course I also loved Augustus Gloop, the fat kid who got to eat junk food all day.
I also used to have this fantasy that started around that age...not a sexual fantasy, but a compelling fantasy nonetheless, of boys with huge bellies bouncing around our school's gymnasium on their big round bellies.
Yes, I was a bizarre kid. :-)
Another question for all of you: do you think feedeerism was something hard-wired into you from birth (either being a feeder OR a feedee or both), or do you think something happened that caused you to become a feeder/feedee, or what???? As I come closer to really accepting that I have these unusual fantasies and strong desires, I can't help but wonder how and why all of this got started.