What I Would Do For Some Christmas Spirit
10 DAYS TO GO TILL CHRISTMAS
I would lose some sleep... which I have. It's now 3 minutes before 3 am and I haven't gotten a blink of sleep regardless of my attempts to do so over 5 hours now. Dawn. Can you imagine? The Victory Church's Sambang Gabi, our very own version, like most simbang gabi's begins at 4:30 to be followed by Filipino delicacies (I'm looking forward to bibingka) and my routine Caramel Starbucks drink, to be shared over my Law11 assigned readings with Kevin.
I would lose some sleep again...Sunday morning, actual Catholic simbang gabi. Thanks to Kevin, I will get to experience my first authentic agonizingly early Catholic mass.
This year, I'm making an effort to gain the now elusive Christmas Spirit. It used to be easy to find.
I know it's supposed to be about Jesus' birth, or so the Church has convinced us. Growing up in a household of non-practicing Catholics turned Christians, I'm still kinda confused as to what it should be about. The assumption is: I'm growing up, so I need a grown-up understanding of this season.
Well, it used to be about looking under the Christmas tree counting gifts. Lately, none of the gifts i get are wrapped in gold, red, or green paper, being mostly gadgets or what my father regards as grown-up toys. I guess part of what's lost in that tradition is the childish curiosity that once devoured me into peeking through the wrapping paper and piling together those gifts, making sure I'm getting more than Tom that year.
It also used to be about family. Growing up, we spent our Christmases at my Lola's house. We were never really complete, ever, but at least before, my Tita Trisha, Tito Dickson and his family still lived here. Now, they're all in the U.S. and our Christmas greeting have to be said over the cellphone passed around during the gift-unwrapping ritual. I still remember how Chelsea, Tom and I would pile up our gifts comparing who got the biggest or the most gifts and hand out other peoples' gifts from the oldest person, my Lolo to the youngest, Audrey. There was even one Christmas when I felt extra-generous and went shopping for gifts for all my relatives spending all my savings on them, but that was only until i realized I could spend my savings on myself instead.
Sure, I've grown a tad, or a lot, more self-centered over the years, and maybe it's why I've been having trouble feeling Christmas, but all i really want is to feel like a child again. What's the harm in that? What's the danger in a little stunted emotional development?
-k