The beginning of the Lauren Story
Aright, I know I've been pretty bad about the LJ updates, so sorry bout that. I thought I might as well give an update thats actually important and not just random nonsense, so I'll post about whats goin on with me and Lauren- I know I've mentioned bits and pieces of the story to a few of you, but I should probably start at the beginning, in something resembling a coherent story for those who are interested enough to read it. This will also save me the retelling the same story to those who I'll need to tell anyway...
This requires a bit of explanation because I can't quite say we are dating... but I can't quite say we aren't either. To start at the beginning, we met at an Amnesty International conference in Fall '05, and we spent a couple days there wandering together and making amnesty jokes and had a night out with friends for thai food and boozles. We really hit it off, and I quickly got the impression that she was a girl who I naturally seem to be able to spend a near unlimited amount of time comfortably with. Combined with the fact that she was really hot in a dorky librarian type way which I'm totally a sucker for, I was immediately interested in her but unfortunately didnt have time to try anything at the conference. I couldn't really tell if she was interested in the same sort of way but she certainly liked spending time with me, so we exchanged facebook information and over the next 3 years I would periodically remember her and wish I could have had a chance to pursue it- usually this happened during those introverted and contemplative moments when I was at a loss to try to figure out where I was going with this whole women business and Lauren kept popping up as what I thought I was looking for. Still, I know its an easy trap to fall into to idolize someone who you spend a very short time with and see all the good points and not all the dark horrible secrets, so though I thought I had a pretty good idea, I knew I couldn't really be sure.
A couple months ago, possibly even a year I guess, she sent me a facebook message (oh internets) saying she was on the same side of the world (i.e. portland) and we talked about the possibility of making something of it. A flurry of facebook messages later, she managed to figure out a trip to SF for Thanksgiving, the first (and so far, only) time I saw her since the conference. So, when she arrived it was in a promising but slightly awkward situation of both of us being really excited to see each other (frankly, it was a bit strange how eager both of us were considering we had only seen each other for about 2-3 days 3 years prior), and though it seemed to be moving in a very clear direction, it wasnt openly apparently whether it was romantic or not. I took her out to wine country in Sonoma county the first day she was here so we could get schnockered in a classy way, and we again really hit it off despite the variance between her coming from super-lets-be-nice-and-PC-to-everyone-land and my universally insulting, non-PC, stereotype full sense of humor. Luckily she is a great sport and capable of being both amused and uncomfortable at the same time, which is like a win-win for me.
So the trick was that when we came back from 10 hours on the road starting at like 8:00 am or something stupid, we were both tired and wanted to nap, yet I of course wanted to find a way to get us in the same bed, and *conveniently* had a secluded room booked at the hostel with one bed, and the tour dropped us off at the hostel. Luckily, we were on the same page on that one, and details aside we were both rather happy we decided to stay there. The strange part is that within about a day or two, between being romantically involved and so comfortable together, we slipped into something very similar to boyfriend/girlfriend roles, which is nice because she is a long-term relationship girl who still has too much christian background in her to easily do the quick hookup thing, and I've been tired of that and wanting something more substantial for awhile now, wacky asian girl stories aside. Both of us have been single for awhile it seems and we both are very much in the same place, so it just happened.
And even stranger, we've both been very upfront about all of this. Usually this sort of attachment would stress me out, but its so easy for us to talk without a lot of emotional undertones and mindgame bullshit, its easy to keep up. Its just so odd that I can talk normally to a girl I like and expect honest, straightforward responses without having to decipher everything. If we were in the same city we'd pretty unquestionably be dating officially, but both of us are wary of doing anything official long term, and I personally would be worried that a failed "long term relationship" would be far more disastrous than being on indefinite hold until a relationship would geographically make sense. So right now we are in a strange half place of both openly agreeing that we'd like to be dating, and flirting more than we have any right to based on the short time we've known each other and just generally being in something that we both know feels like a relationship but isn't. It sounds like something that should by all rights be a really uncomfortable and stressful situation but not only is it not, its actually really calming to have that when I'm kind of stressed about work and law school and all that crap. Obviously it would be better if we were in the same place, but hell this non-relationship is nicer for now than a lot of relationships I've had so I'll take it and we'll see what happens.
This requires a bit of explanation because I can't quite say we are dating... but I can't quite say we aren't either. To start at the beginning, we met at an Amnesty International conference in Fall '05, and we spent a couple days there wandering together and making amnesty jokes and had a night out with friends for thai food and boozles. We really hit it off, and I quickly got the impression that she was a girl who I naturally seem to be able to spend a near unlimited amount of time comfortably with. Combined with the fact that she was really hot in a dorky librarian type way which I'm totally a sucker for, I was immediately interested in her but unfortunately didnt have time to try anything at the conference. I couldn't really tell if she was interested in the same sort of way but she certainly liked spending time with me, so we exchanged facebook information and over the next 3 years I would periodically remember her and wish I could have had a chance to pursue it- usually this happened during those introverted and contemplative moments when I was at a loss to try to figure out where I was going with this whole women business and Lauren kept popping up as what I thought I was looking for. Still, I know its an easy trap to fall into to idolize someone who you spend a very short time with and see all the good points and not all the dark horrible secrets, so though I thought I had a pretty good idea, I knew I couldn't really be sure.
A couple months ago, possibly even a year I guess, she sent me a facebook message (oh internets) saying she was on the same side of the world (i.e. portland) and we talked about the possibility of making something of it. A flurry of facebook messages later, she managed to figure out a trip to SF for Thanksgiving, the first (and so far, only) time I saw her since the conference. So, when she arrived it was in a promising but slightly awkward situation of both of us being really excited to see each other (frankly, it was a bit strange how eager both of us were considering we had only seen each other for about 2-3 days 3 years prior), and though it seemed to be moving in a very clear direction, it wasnt openly apparently whether it was romantic or not. I took her out to wine country in Sonoma county the first day she was here so we could get schnockered in a classy way, and we again really hit it off despite the variance between her coming from super-lets-be-nice-and-PC-to-everyone-land and my universally insulting, non-PC, stereotype full sense of humor. Luckily she is a great sport and capable of being both amused and uncomfortable at the same time, which is like a win-win for me.
So the trick was that when we came back from 10 hours on the road starting at like 8:00 am or something stupid, we were both tired and wanted to nap, yet I of course wanted to find a way to get us in the same bed, and *conveniently* had a secluded room booked at the hostel with one bed, and the tour dropped us off at the hostel. Luckily, we were on the same page on that one, and details aside we were both rather happy we decided to stay there. The strange part is that within about a day or two, between being romantically involved and so comfortable together, we slipped into something very similar to boyfriend/girlfriend roles, which is nice because she is a long-term relationship girl who still has too much christian background in her to easily do the quick hookup thing, and I've been tired of that and wanting something more substantial for awhile now, wacky asian girl stories aside. Both of us have been single for awhile it seems and we both are very much in the same place, so it just happened.
And even stranger, we've both been very upfront about all of this. Usually this sort of attachment would stress me out, but its so easy for us to talk without a lot of emotional undertones and mindgame bullshit, its easy to keep up. Its just so odd that I can talk normally to a girl I like and expect honest, straightforward responses without having to decipher everything. If we were in the same city we'd pretty unquestionably be dating officially, but both of us are wary of doing anything official long term, and I personally would be worried that a failed "long term relationship" would be far more disastrous than being on indefinite hold until a relationship would geographically make sense. So right now we are in a strange half place of both openly agreeing that we'd like to be dating, and flirting more than we have any right to based on the short time we've known each other and just generally being in something that we both know feels like a relationship but isn't. It sounds like something that should by all rights be a really uncomfortable and stressful situation but not only is it not, its actually really calming to have that when I'm kind of stressed about work and law school and all that crap. Obviously it would be better if we were in the same place, but hell this non-relationship is nicer for now than a lot of relationships I've had so I'll take it and we'll see what happens.