(no subject)
Not grammatically correct. but ask me if i care.
.
I'm a struggling artist. Not in the sense that I'm struggling to earn a living off my art, rather i'm struggling to produce work.
It's hurting me because I'm an art major. I go to FSC for graphic design and it's KILLING me. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy being at the school. I enjoy studying art. What I enjoy most about studying art is that I can study and learn about something that I have a passion for and want to pursue for the rest of my life. One of the best things about studying art is that I am constantly taking things in and trying to apply it in a way that will make my creativity grow. I notice things about the world and how it works. I get to come in contact with extremely interesting and talented people and see the way that they work; i try to learn from their vision.. But I cant seem to expand my own. I'm trying to learn about myself. To find out how I see and what I want to show. To portray what I think is important and what I am made of . And all i come up with is NOTHING. I'm the type of person who wakes up and believes that every day is an exciting journey. I want to use my art as a visual record of my own journey. Perhaps i can get a glimpse of my future.. but that's a subject for another post...
Its frustrating to have this strong desire to say something and no idea how to do it. i want my work to have substinance, to evoke a feeling, and to provoke thought. I dont know where to start. I cant draw or paint. I dont know where to start when it comes to mixed art, sculpture, video art, performance, installations, or anything else. I've never explored those areas of art before. The most exposure I've had lies in photography, which i greatly enjoy. But what I create feels mediocre. Sure, I know what it takes to make a good photograph. Composition, lighting, texture, forms, imagination, patience, ect. But my photos dont seem to portray passion. My photos dont have enough depth.
I watch other people inside and out of the classrooms and studios. They are always working, thinking, and producing. They have this fire that allows them to take them somewhere. I have the drive. I just dont have the.. tools, i guess? *sigh* I dont know who i am. I dont know what i want to say.. but i can feel this whispering voice inside the pit of my stomach growing louder and louder..
And i dont want to wait anymore! I want to break through from my body and have this epitome. I want to frantically produce work. I want to say something through my images! I want to do something different, new, and aspiring!
My photos are getting to the point where i almost hate them. Every other art i create does the same thing. (ask anyone in any of my drawing, painting, or design classes). They never come out the way I picture them in my mind's eye. It all just sits and sits and sits and sometimes it gets messed up and becomes a constant reminder of my failure.
I'm scared I dont have the ability. And that i've wasted 22 years of my life trying to be someone than i'm not. Could it be possible that my "artistic talent" lies in having an appreciating eye for OTHER people's work?
No.. please.. no.
"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or just a moment of clarity. It’s like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody’s saying it but everybody’s thinking it: "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But I can’t. And if I can’t be great at it then I don’t want to ruin it. It’s too important to me."
I feel so incomplete. Untied, even.
.
I'm a struggling artist. Not in the sense that I'm struggling to earn a living off my art, rather i'm struggling to produce work.
It's hurting me because I'm an art major. I go to FSC for graphic design and it's KILLING me. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy being at the school. I enjoy studying art. What I enjoy most about studying art is that I can study and learn about something that I have a passion for and want to pursue for the rest of my life. One of the best things about studying art is that I am constantly taking things in and trying to apply it in a way that will make my creativity grow. I notice things about the world and how it works. I get to come in contact with extremely interesting and talented people and see the way that they work; i try to learn from their vision.. But I cant seem to expand my own. I'm trying to learn about myself. To find out how I see and what I want to show. To portray what I think is important and what I am made of . And all i come up with is NOTHING. I'm the type of person who wakes up and believes that every day is an exciting journey. I want to use my art as a visual record of my own journey. Perhaps i can get a glimpse of my future.. but that's a subject for another post...
Its frustrating to have this strong desire to say something and no idea how to do it. i want my work to have substinance, to evoke a feeling, and to provoke thought. I dont know where to start. I cant draw or paint. I dont know where to start when it comes to mixed art, sculpture, video art, performance, installations, or anything else. I've never explored those areas of art before. The most exposure I've had lies in photography, which i greatly enjoy. But what I create feels mediocre. Sure, I know what it takes to make a good photograph. Composition, lighting, texture, forms, imagination, patience, ect. But my photos dont seem to portray passion. My photos dont have enough depth.
I watch other people inside and out of the classrooms and studios. They are always working, thinking, and producing. They have this fire that allows them to take them somewhere. I have the drive. I just dont have the.. tools, i guess? *sigh* I dont know who i am. I dont know what i want to say.. but i can feel this whispering voice inside the pit of my stomach growing louder and louder..
And i dont want to wait anymore! I want to break through from my body and have this epitome. I want to frantically produce work. I want to say something through my images! I want to do something different, new, and aspiring!
My photos are getting to the point where i almost hate them. Every other art i create does the same thing. (ask anyone in any of my drawing, painting, or design classes). They never come out the way I picture them in my mind's eye. It all just sits and sits and sits and sometimes it gets messed up and becomes a constant reminder of my failure.
I'm scared I dont have the ability. And that i've wasted 22 years of my life trying to be someone than i'm not. Could it be possible that my "artistic talent" lies in having an appreciating eye for OTHER people's work?
No.. please.. no.
"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a fading summer or just a moment of clarity. It’s like when you go and you see a really great band live for the first time, you know, and nobody’s saying it but everybody’s thinking it: "We have something to believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But I can’t. And if I can’t be great at it then I don’t want to ruin it. It’s too important to me."
I feel so incomplete. Untied, even.