(no subject)
It does take quite a bit of strength and courage to say, OK, I'm focussing on myself now, I need to sort myself out first before I deal with anything/one else. Everything else has to take a backseat, and now I need to step back and look into my own affairs.
I'm trying to do this now - and surprisingly (or not), it's not easy. I need to harden my resolve.
Anyway, today has been one of the better days in a long time. It's 4:49 pm, and I've probably done more today than I have over the past couple of days, combined. Sure, it's not up to speed yet, I'm not as efficient as I should (and can be - I remind myself), but I would like to think this ability to pull my socks up is in there somewhere.
I think the weather has contributed to this as well. Ever so often I turn my head to look out the window just to see the sunshine. It's just gorgeous, it makes me wish the day will never end.
The internship creeps ever closer - I am, at the very least, a little bit scared. What if I don't fit in? This new place is going to have a culture that's vastly different from anything I've experienced before; no less, I probably won't have the safety net of another Singaporean (or even Asian). What if I don't get an offer? This would probably affect me more than not having a job, it'd probably wreck my self-confidence, something I need every inch of going into final year. I shouldn't be worrying about this now though. Probably not.
I don't want to think about the fact that I'm approaching the end of my second year. I know I should do some stock taking again to think about this year, but I don't want to. I'm afraid that as I go down the list I find more and more things to leave empty/unchecked. I want to have reason to feel settled, comfortable with what I'm done. At this stage maybe it's better just to leave that stone unturned.
I'm trying to do this now - and surprisingly (or not), it's not easy. I need to harden my resolve.
Anyway, today has been one of the better days in a long time. It's 4:49 pm, and I've probably done more today than I have over the past couple of days, combined. Sure, it's not up to speed yet, I'm not as efficient as I should (and can be - I remind myself), but I would like to think this ability to pull my socks up is in there somewhere.
I think the weather has contributed to this as well. Ever so often I turn my head to look out the window just to see the sunshine. It's just gorgeous, it makes me wish the day will never end.
The internship creeps ever closer - I am, at the very least, a little bit scared. What if I don't fit in? This new place is going to have a culture that's vastly different from anything I've experienced before; no less, I probably won't have the safety net of another Singaporean (or even Asian). What if I don't get an offer? This would probably affect me more than not having a job, it'd probably wreck my self-confidence, something I need every inch of going into final year. I shouldn't be worrying about this now though. Probably not.
I don't want to think about the fact that I'm approaching the end of my second year. I know I should do some stock taking again to think about this year, but I don't want to. I'm afraid that as I go down the list I find more and more things to leave empty/unchecked. I want to have reason to feel settled, comfortable with what I'm done. At this stage maybe it's better just to leave that stone unturned.