(no subject)

[chsgrl08]

Today was a bad day to begin with.. well me and Ryan aren't talking anymore..but no could he tell me that.. no I had to find it out from someone else.. I mean come on..and I called him this morning.. I feel so darn stupid you have no idea..he probably thinks I am really retarded now! I am bummed yea that we aren't talking anymore because he's the only guy that I have liked since I have been in Covington because I thought it would be different with him and I thought things would work out (well for now at least) I didn't think that he would throw everything away @ the drop of a hat just because of summer.or whatever reason it was.. see I wouldn't know what that reason is because he can't talk to me.. I feel really stupid that I fell for everything that he said to me.. like I like you so much and I hope we can date and I will wait as long as you want as long as we're talking bla bla bla BULL~! obviously he wasn't gonna wait as long as he had to because as soon as Summer started BAM! Kaycin is no more in his life and he seems pretty darn happy about it too.. but it's ok because I don't need a guy to make me happy.. Well after my cheerleading meeting today I went to Campaigners and then went to Shana's house.. I think this has been the most peaceful night of my entire life! I mean ok Shana, Abbie, and I go on about a mile walk and just talk and it's good exercise in the great outdoors.. then we go swimming and have fun there and then we get into the hot tub..we got in about 10 and got out and done about a good 12..then we had Crunch Berries and sat under the stars and talked..deeply about how God could have created all of this and all that awesome stuff and saw some meteors.. then we just layed under the stars..then I came inside..wrote in my journal and listened to Kelly Clarkson.. and thought about deep things because I am in a deep mood...idk why..well I better go I am tired and it's pretty darn late

<3 Love,
Kaycin!~*

p.s. - We all KNOW I will be alright and I will "try" and move on..because a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do .. hehe.. =)