(no subject)
It's been a while. Honestly, I am not sure I'm fully back, or coming back. So much has happened--a lot of blessing, a lot of cursing. A lot of pain, loss, hate. It makes me re-evaluate love, kindness, grace, mercy, as I associate with humans. I am fighting to keep my sense of humor, a sense of balance, and an awareness of hope. I put on a fantastic face for people, and I need to. Otherwise, I cannot do my job as a Mom, as a Black woman, and as a Physician. Showing one's true struggles is a death sentence, where I stand. Trusting others to be there is something I do not do. In this world, I expect others to look out for others, not for me or my daughter. It is not their responsibility to care, and I understand that. Choosing to care for others outside yourself is a great responsibility, a gift, an art. Not everyone is cut out for it.
I am rambling a bit. I took so many photos of our lives the past few months. I have always loved photography, since age 16, and I am making little books for us to look back on. If people truly want to see them, they can email or text me, and we might share that way. Otherwise, I'll just drop them here and there, as I feel led. The sun is finally shining, the clouds are moving outside my window. It feels, somewhat, like a fresh perspective on life.
2022. There are no words, no resolutions, no vocal goals. I have goals, but right now, I will keep them silently to myself---not even a whisper.