damnit!

May 02, 2008 22:12

i really need to start posting more. Since my last post i have purchased mario kart for the wii. it's pretty good. It's not as great as Mario Kart 64 or DS but it's better than super circut and double dash. They really turned up the douchebag-ometer on the computers. also...a story. P.S. not my own work

They say that long ago, when Wang Fire was a young man, he lived in a small rural Fire Nation village. The village was remote enough that pirates occasionally threatened it. And one day, when the Fire Navy ships were busy with the war, the most terrible pirates imaginable descended upon the village. Their hearts were blacker than midnight. These men were murderers and rapists, scoundrels of the highest order who showed no mercy to any of their victims. They had the audacity to saunter into the village, taunting the people that tomorrow they would die, picking out which houses to loot and which women to violate.

At the center of town, they came upon a young Wang Fire, who had come to the market to buy a new shovel for his family farm. Wang was the first man of the village they had encountered, and the first not to cower to them. Their Captain, a most terrible man named Obsuka the Narwhal approached the young Wang Fire. He was as tall as a platypusbear and as strong as an ox. And instead of a sword, he carried the spiral horn of a great sea monster. With a voice that grumbled like a storm and a breath that stank of fish, the Captain spoke.

"Boy, where are the men in this village? Are you the only one brave enough to face us? Is this a village of cowards?"

"The men of this village are brave sailors in the Fire Navy. They are gone fighting so that the whole world may enjoy the peace and prosperity of the Fire Nation."

"And what does that make you then boy, if you stay behind while others go and fight?"

"It makes me a month shy of the enlistment age the Fire Lord has declared we should be when we join the military. Now let me ask YOU a few questions."

"Speak, whelp."

"You are pirates correct? Murderers, rapists, and thieves?"

The pirates began to laugh at this question, amused at this boy standing before them. Their Captain answered Wang Fire. "Indeed we are boy! We are the most fearsome pirates in these waters!"

"And what does it make you if you come upon a village filled with beautiful maidens of the Fire Nation and you can only ask where the men are?"

The fifty pirates stopped laughing. They all stared dumbfounded at this boy who had dared insult them.

"I think it makes you queer," said Wang with a smirk.
With a roar the pirates began shouting for Wang's head. "How dare he say that about the Captain!" "I'll have your head boy!" "We will burn this village to the ground!"

Obsuka the Narwhal raised his hand and his men fell silent. The pirate captain approached Wang Fire.

"Boy, I will let that insult pass because you obviously do not know who you are talking to. I am Obsuka the Narwhal, the Scourge of the Northern Water Tribe. My blade is the horn of a great sea monster. I have killed hundreds of men and countless other women and children. I have sacked villages all along both the coasts of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. Three Captains of the Fire Navy have tried to take me and my crew, and I have sent each of them and their crews to a watery grave."

Obsuka stooped down, so that he was face to face with Wang.

"And if you get down on your knees, right now, and beg my forgiveness, I might spare your life and the lives of a few of these Fire Nation whores."

Wang starred at the pirate, unblinking. "And if I refuse?"

Obsuka the Narwhal stood and his voice bellowed with rage. "Then tomorrow at dawn we shall return and make you watch as my crew and I destroy this village! Every building burned, every woman ravaged and every child dead, all before your foolish eyes! Beg me now for mercy, and I will spare you and a few others! If you do not, then tomorrow when the sun rises we shall make this village a hell on Earth!"

Wang Fire turned his head and looked at the women of his village. Among them he saw Pin-mei, a girl his age who was trembling in fear at the pirates. She had fallen in the street and dropped a basket of fruit. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he turned back to the pirates.

"Very well. Return at dawn, to this very spot, and I shall kill each and every one of you.”

Obsuka the Narwhal shook with rage, but then calmed himself. He chuckled lightly.

“You are very brave boy. Brave, but so very, very stupid.” The Captain turned to face his crew. “Back to the boats! I want all of you to have plenty of rest tonight! We’re getting up early tomorrow and we have a busy day ahead of us!” And with that, the pirates turned around and started to march out of the village. Obsuka the Narwhal turned back to Wang a final time.

“What is you name, boy?”

“Wang Fire.”

“Wang Fire, tomorrow your world ENDS.”
As soon as the pirates were out of sight, Wang went to Pin-mei to help her with her fruit.

“Are you all right, Pin-mei?” asked Wang Fire as he began to pick up the spilled fruit.

“Yes, I am fine. But Wang! Those terrible men! And they said they would be back tomorrow!”

“Excuse me…” said an old but steady voice. It was Lien-hua, the eldest woman in the village. With no men around, she was the leader of the village. Wang stood immediately and bowed to her. She returned the bow and spoke.

“What would you have us do, Master Fire?”

Wang stroked his stubbly chin in thought for a few moments. “Tell everyone to pack their belongings. Anything they leave behind will be lost forever. Tell them to bring food and water for three days and to go and wait in the caves in the mountain. After the third day, you may all return.”

Lien-hua looked Wang Fire over for a minute then silently nodded her head. “Very well. Good luck to you, Master Fire.” She then left them and started ordering women about and soon the whole village was packing. Wang and Pin-mei watched the commotion for a few moments. But soon, Wang decided to get to work. He handed Pin-mei her basket of fruit. She started at him, obviously worried for his safety.

“Don’t worry,” said Wang as he turned to leave. “I won’t let them hurt anyone else.”

“But Wang! Where are you going?”

Wang held his new shovel with both hands. “I am going to put this shovel work. I only have one night to dig the graves for all of those filthy pirates.”
The next morning when the pirates returned, it was raining. The sun was not yet up, but Obsuka the Narwhal and his pirate crew were. The pirates marched toward the village in full battle armor with their swords and spears drawn. The butchers had not even bothered to wash the blood off their blades from their last battle. The rain turned the crusted blood into a thick syrup and it oozed off their blades and fell into the mud as the pirates marched towards the center of the village and their appointment with Wang Fire.

Obsuka the Narwhal marched at the front of his men. As they approached the edge of the village, they saw a sign that Wang Fire had put up the night before. In simple red characters, it read “Last chance to flee with your lives.” Obsuka stopped and ordered his men to halt. He pointed the sign out to them.

“Ooooooh! How scary!” mocked Obsuka the Narwhal. His men all had a hearty laugh. Obsuka then drew his blade, the spiral horn of a great sea monster. With a strong thrust he had used on many people, soldier and civilian alike, he rammed his horn through the sign, shattering it to splinters. The pirates marched on into town.

As they marched, one of the pirates fell flat on his face. His comrades laughed at him. “Clumsy oaf! Watch where you’re going!”

“It’s not my fault! Something tripped me!” The pirate looked down and discovered a curious trench that snaked through the street of the town. “Captain! Look at this!” Captain Obsuka looked down at the small trench. He smiled and addressed his men.

“I have seen this before, in the Earth Kingdom! It’s an outdated tactic; you dig small trenches like this on flat terrain to trip up enemy infantry. But Mister Fire has placed them improperly, they’re too far apart! Just watch your step and continue!”

The pirates resumed their march towards the center of town. Obsuka the Narwhal began to pity this Fire Nation boy who thought he could stop him with these hastily made rain filled gutters. “Poor fool,” he thought to himself. “He has no idea what he’s in for.”

As they marched on, the pirates began to become overpowered by a terrible odor. There were huge pots that lined the street leading to the town center. One of the pirates looked inside and found it was full to the brim with manure.

“Well, it’s an improvement over the stench from yesterday!” remarked one pirate.

Finally the pirates reached the center of the village. In the exact spot he was standing yesterday, but now wielding a sword instead of a shovel, stood Wang Fire. His face was as angry as ever and his eyes were bloodshot with rage and lack of sleep. Next to him was another sign he made. In simple red characters, it said “If you can read this, you are already dead.”

Undeterred, Obsuka the Narwhal began to speak.

“Well, Wang Fire, you certainly have made this crummy little village ready for an assault!” The pirates all laughed with their Captain. “But seriously, did you really believe those pitiful trip trenches could keep us out? Or that the rancid manure would drive us away?”

“Of course not! The trenches were designed to keep you in!” The pirates continued to cackle like hyenas. Such bravado this boy had in front of them! Wang just stood there, and made a small ball of fire in one of his hands.

“And the manure was there to cover up the smell..” said Wang as he pointed his palm towards the trench nearest to him.

“Of the oil.”

The rain stopped as the sun rose in the east. And as light poured into the village, Wang Fire sprung his trap for the pirates.
The fire snaked its way through the streets, lighting the fuses on the pots of manure and kerosene. The explosions rocked the small village, and soon what were rustic country homes and small shops was a raging inferno. Thirteen of the pirates had been caught by the initial blast, but Wang was not yet done. With a sudden rising of his fist, the small fires in the trenches became walls of flame eight feet high. A few more of the pirates who had been straddling a trench became engulfed in flames. With no proper discipline, the bandits panicked and tried to find a way out of the fiery maze the street had now become.

Tired of killing with just bending, Wang Fire moved in with his sword drawn. He masterfully opened and closed small holes in the walls of fire. They opened briefly enough for him to run through, cut a pirate down, and then run out again. Wang moved through the fire like a demon, striking without warning or mercy. The pirates offered little more than a half hearted attempt at a parry or a gurgling scream in terms of resistance.

Obsuka the Narwhal found himself for the first time in his life cursing his height. Because the pirate captain could just barely see over the top of the walls of fire, and he knew that all of his men were dying at the hands of Wang Fire. His fearsome crew, men hand picked from the meanest crews in the waters, men that had been his allies in atrocity and chaos, men that had stood with him time after time against the greatest of enemies. All of them being killed by one young firebender. After a few minutes, when the walls of fire died down, all that remained of the crew of Obsuka the Narwhal were forty nine burned and bloodied corpses.

“Well,” said Wang as the last of the fire calmed down. “I suppose it’s your turn.”

Obsuka the Narwhal exploded with rage. Drawing his horn, he charged at Wang Fire with the speed of a tsunami. So fast, that he almost caught Wang Fire off guard. Wang had to move quickly to deflect Obsuka’s strike with his sword.

“Pretty fast for such a big fella,” said Wang with a smirk.

“Fire Nation FILTH!” screamed Obsuka, who then lifted his horn high into the air and tried to bring it crashing down upon Wang Fire. Sparks flew as Wang’s blade intercepted the blow. And for a while, the two warriors stood there, neither giving the other one any ground, blades locked together.

Just as quickly as it had started, it ended. The horn of the great sea monster had long been a weapon of murder, but now before the blade of Wang Fire, it began to crack. Both men noticed it at the same time, but Wang acted first. He threw all of his remaining strength against the horn, and it broke and gave way. With a motion full of the burning passion only capable of men born in the nation of Fire, Wang thrust his blade into the chest of Obsuka the Narwhal. The pirate staggered back and fell to his knees, dying.

“I suppose even the horn of a great sea monster is no match for Fire Nation steel,” said Wang as he approached the dying pirate.

“D-damn you, Wang Fire. Damn you to hell!” spat Obsuka the Narwhal. Wang grabbed his sword with both hands. With a mighty kick of his leg delivered to the chest of the pirate, Wang pulled his blade free. A torrent of blood spilled from the now dead body of Obsuka the Narwhal. He lay dead with the rest of his crew, in the main street of the village that Wang Fire had called home, that Wang Fire himself had set ablaze.

Wang pulled a rag from his pocket and wiped his blade clean before returning it to its scabbard. And with a simple pulling of his wrist, the rest of the fire died down and extinguished. Wang studied the gutted village that had once been home, that was now a blackend carapace. And then, with a tired sigh, Wang flung his sword on his shoulder and went to go get his tools. He had work to do.
Three days later, the women and children began to return to the village. They were concerned, of course, because days earlier that had easily seen the smoke from the fire in the village. But there had been nothing for three days. Perhaps the most worried was Pin-mei, who walked with nervous anticipation towards her village. She wondered if Wang had kept his word, if he had defeated all the pirates, but had been wounded and lay dying these last few days. She wondered if he had failed, and now all the women were walking into a trap. The horror of such a thought was too much for her to bear, but then a firm old hand clamped itself on Pin-mei’s shoulder. It was Lien-hua, the village elder.

“Do not worry, my child,” Spoke Lien-hua. “Wang Fire will keep his promise. We shall return safely to the village and thank him for his hard work.”

“Why do you have so much faith in Wang?” asked Pin-mei.

Lien-hua stopped walking and looked directly into Pin-mei’s eyes. “I place no more faith in Wang Fire than I do of any man of the Fire Nation. I forget sometimes that you are young, and have lived in the village your entire life. That the tales of a firebender’s strength against the Air Savages or against the Water tribesmen are just that to you - stories. You have not seen the world like I have, or seen a battle of the War in person. My faith in Wang Fire comes from my faith in the Fire Nation itself. My knowledge that we are the unstoppable wielders of the superior element and that no mere pirate could ever extinguish the flames of a man such as Wang Fire. A man of the Fire Nation.”

“I wish I had your faith, Elder Lien-hu,” said Pin-mei.

“You may yet get your wish, child. Behold, we have reached the village.”

As they stood on the hill overlooking the village, this is what they saw. They saw the village exactly as it was before they left it. Every brick and every shingle was in its right place, but brand new. In a small field to the north which had long been fallow, they saw forty nine fresh unmarked graves. And as they entered the village, they saw Wang Fire putting on the last shingle on a roof of a house.

Laughing, Lien-hua mocked scorn at Wang Fire.

“Young man, there are only forty nine graves in that field. Did a pirate escape you?”

Grinning, Wang Fire jumped down from the roof and replied. “Woman, you have yet to see the docks.”

And on the docks of the village was the strung up body of Obsuka the Narwhal, his once proud horn now sticking out of his forehead. Around his neck hung a sign written in simple red characters.

Pirates, you are warned.

That night, the village threw a celebration for Wang Fire. There was music and dancing, and children played in the street and ate Fire Flakes. And as the party died down, Wang Fire found himself alone with Pin-mei on the roof of one of the houses Wang had built. They lay together, quietly watching the stars above them. Wang held his arm around the girl to keep her warm.

“Where you ever scared Wang, to fight so many men?” asked Pin-mei.

“There was one moment in the battle where that pirate almost got me with his silly horn. For a brief moment, I imagine I felt a little fear. But then I remembered something.”

“What did you remember?”

“I remembered I promised you it would be all right. And since I had given my word, I knew that I had no choice but to win.”

With that, he leaned over and kissed the young woman, who returned it with much youthful vigor. As the kiss ended, she looked upon the face of this man that she loved.

“You know, you would look much nobler with a beard,” said Pin-mei.

“Perhaps I shall grow one for you,” said Wang Fire.
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