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Well. Yesterday at my grandmother's house, the grandmother my parents actually allow me to talk to, my mom called down there at about noon with some bad news. She got off the phone and my grandma comes up to me and says "Well, you're grandma's dying," with a short chuckle after it, as if it's something cute... I don't know, my grandma is like that, she'll laugh at anything, it's more like nervous laughter... My grandmother who is at the moment in the Palatka hospital, dying, was never too close to our family. My mom always had some stupid, immature problem with her, and it kept the family away from her for years, on and off. I remember her pretty well... She was always real nice to me, and we always did things together for the few years my mom and her were still cool with each other... Every Friday, she'd pick me up from the elementary school and we'd go out to eat, come home, and stay up and watch wrestling. She was a big fan of wrestling, and she got me into it for a few years. She was the house we always used to go to for big holidays... She's from Germany, and she always cooked nice foods for the family. I felt like, even as a kid, she was the person I was probably closest to for a while. My parents are afraid to tell me anything, but I'm not stupid. Apparently, she'd been doing some sort of financial fraud for years over her husband's money... I don't understand the whole thing, and I don't want to, because I'll still always love her. She had a minor stroke, and then a more severe one the next day, that caused some sort of bleeding in her brain. Immediately after the second stroke, doctors knew they couldn't do anything. They say these strokes could have happened because she never took her medicine, and never could accept the fact that she was sick. A hairdresser, Anna, who knew my grandma very well caught her on the side of the road in a car, crying, and she told her she couldn't see. It will only be a day or two before she dies... I went to see her in the hospital last night and we stayed there for hours. I saw my grandpa, who I hadn't seen forever, and he's a really great person. He says he doesn't have any clue how he'll be able to live by himself. After the first night when she had only the minor stroke, he went home to sleep because it was so cold at the hospital. The next morning he was told she had another, so he's been sleeping at the hospital every night because he feels horrible for leaving her side... He says walking around the house without her there will just have him feeling empty... I can kind of imagine... My family is extremely emotion-ignorant. They have no clue how to act in a sensitive situation, all besides myself it seems. We couldn't talk to her or anything, the only things keeping her alive were the tubes with oxygen and everything. I stayed quiet the whole time, just watching and thinking... Others kind of just ignored her and talked, but I tried to stay concentrated. At 7:00, we were ushered out of the room for an hour because they were changing shifts. At 8:00, we were allowed back in, and only stayed there for a few minutes. My mom cried, but it wasn't because of what I thought it was, she creditted it to "the things coming from her body in the tubes"... I got a glimpse of her face within the last few minutes... Everyone filed out of the room, and I wanted so badly to stay and say something to her before we left, but I didn't, everyone was just rushing out and I didn't want to make a big deal out of something that would just get me teased by my parents. I really wish I could have saw her one last time when she still had the presence of mind to tell her I love her...
On the car ride home, my brother started ridiculously crying in the car, just for attention from my parents. I hate when he does things like that, it made me so angry. He didn't even really know her, and the whole time we visited her in the hospital, he was just staring off in space and laughing at jokes the rest of the family made towards my grandpa, aunts, and uncles. I remember when my grandma was taking me and him out to eat one day, and she asked, "Brandon, when I day, will you cry?" He was only 6 or 7 then, and he said "Probably not," or something like that. It was a foolish question to ask such a young kid, but it's funny how he's still just as foolish, and makes a scene just for attention...
Enough of me complaining, really... I don't feel like explaining why I haven't updated for so long at the moment... My mind is kind of full of things to think about...
On the car ride home, my brother started ridiculously crying in the car, just for attention from my parents. I hate when he does things like that, it made me so angry. He didn't even really know her, and the whole time we visited her in the hospital, he was just staring off in space and laughing at jokes the rest of the family made towards my grandpa, aunts, and uncles. I remember when my grandma was taking me and him out to eat one day, and she asked, "Brandon, when I day, will you cry?" He was only 6 or 7 then, and he said "Probably not," or something like that. It was a foolish question to ask such a young kid, but it's funny how he's still just as foolish, and makes a scene just for attention...
Enough of me complaining, really... I don't feel like explaining why I haven't updated for so long at the moment... My mind is kind of full of things to think about...