xangsane

Sep 30, 2006 14:49




The aftermath of Thursday's weather still lingers through my mind. I know it already cost a lot of people their homes and lives, but I also believe it changed them. Most of them adapted and grew stronger -- probably even smarter. Others may have turned over a new leaf.

In my case, it was...different.

I brought the storm within me...to the point where I ultimately dragged myself down. Yesterday, I pulled a prank on a noob teammate, cheated on our monthly product exam (and got caught doing it) and then lied about having a client call just to avoid the intense rush hour. I know it sounds pathetic for me to tell these things, but when you do all these in just one day, it’s hard to get rid of your guilty conscience. I just know I smudged my career already and I feel ashamed of it.

The good news is that I felt sorry for what I did. This isn't who I am. This was not taught to me as I made my way here. But when you’re desperate, you just do what you can to survive...by any means necessary.

I've already resided on the fact that I won’t be staying on this job for too long. As a matter of fact, I'm only giving myself until November. Whether or not I make it as a regular employee, I'll be leaving this job to find a new one. I've already made too many mistakes for me to stay here.
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