Closure
Tina has informed me that she's looking for closure on our relationship.
She's asked me to write about it, for her, to give her an idea of what I was thinking, what I am thinking, and how I feel about it all.
I'm not sure how to do that. It's been over a year.
( Read more... )
She's asked me to write about it, for her, to give her an idea of what I was thinking, what I am thinking, and how I feel about it all.
I'm not sure how to do that. It's been over a year.
( Read more... )
"Don't try to find the answer
When there ain't no question here;
Brother, let your heart be wounded
And give no mercy to your fear."
You mentioned above that you were starting to think that YOU were the problem. I once made a similar remark about Accounting 'problems'. It wasn't the numbers that were wrong, I realized, but rather my interpretation of them; I let them skew each other and filled in blanks I did not yet know enough to fill. The more I clung to logic and previous experience, the more they both betrayed me! In the end, I lost to an enemy that should not have been seen as an adversary in the first place.
I do not see you being in this situation... yet. You're a smart kid and you know enough not to assume you have all (or maybe any?) of the answers currently. You ARE, however, in danger of letting what data you have skew itself until everything points in a completely different direction determined by worry and insecurity... so watch yourself closely. But do not watch so closely you change your behaviour according to presumptuous internalized expectations and not according to what your heart really wants. Sometimes I do that and it's trouble. You have a strong heart and I'm sure you'll follow it to the right place.
If you think you made mistakes with Tina, tell her that. If you really want to blame yourself as being a large part of "the problem," maybe you should think about why and figure out a plan of action to attempt to fix that. She may be searching for a comforting "I loved you and always will," but she may also be searching for a "This is why there is/was weirdness between us and this is what I can do on my side to help alleviate that." Or she may not want any of that -- I don't know what prompted this. Whatever the reason, just be as honest as you have been on here and if there is comfort or help to be given, it will be given. If there is none... make sure you ahve done the best you can, and then so be it.
Please hang in there, Mike. Flop on that hammock and relax.
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