Friends
Once upon a time I worked at a fast food restaurant in NC. This group of girls kept talking about having a girls' night in front of me. So when one of them asked me if I was working on Thursday, I said "Nope!" Thinking that this was the official invitation. Then she said, "Do you think you could work for me, so I can go to the Girls' Night?"
This is basically how my nursing school social life is going.
I keep switching between my feelings being actually hurt by this group of girls in my class and then thoughts of how much I don't care. I shouldn't care. I need to just focus on the academic side of nursing school, and let it go. But when my feelings are hurt I can't help but think there is something inherently wrong with me. There is something repulsive about my personality...or face. There is some annoying habit that I have, and I just don't have the self-awareness to see it. Of course this makes me want to talk less around them, and if I'm wrong and I'm just projecting then talking less is probably adding to the problem?
I hate "making friends." I've vowed to just focus on myself, my family and the academic side. Once Jandr and I have our own house and careers, then I'll worry about making a few solid friends that I can hang out with. Hopefully. Or maybe because I am still such good friends with my high school friends (Annie, Soph, & Nico), the universe is like "you've met your quota." Not even sure if I believe that's how "the universe" works.
Okay, Jandr said he made me a coffee downstairs (see, what do I have to complain about really??). Bye.
This is basically how my nursing school social life is going.
I keep switching between my feelings being actually hurt by this group of girls in my class and then thoughts of how much I don't care. I shouldn't care. I need to just focus on the academic side of nursing school, and let it go. But when my feelings are hurt I can't help but think there is something inherently wrong with me. There is something repulsive about my personality...or face. There is some annoying habit that I have, and I just don't have the self-awareness to see it. Of course this makes me want to talk less around them, and if I'm wrong and I'm just projecting then talking less is probably adding to the problem?
I hate "making friends." I've vowed to just focus on myself, my family and the academic side. Once Jandr and I have our own house and careers, then I'll worry about making a few solid friends that I can hang out with. Hopefully. Or maybe because I am still such good friends with my high school friends (Annie, Soph, & Nico), the universe is like "you've met your quota." Not even sure if I believe that's how "the universe" works.
Okay, Jandr said he made me a coffee downstairs (see, what do I have to complain about really??). Bye.