The urge to Dread...
Listening to Agt_orange's ebm mix got me thinking again about the old times and I suddenly got the urge to get my dreads back. Now while this is employment suicide right at this moment I really truly think I'd like my dreads back, even if only once more, before I get too haggard and old-looking to the point it looks ridiculous.
One of my big regrets was not getting enough pictures of me and my friends when I was younger and "Party Pete". Dreads/braids always made me feel like... me (strange as that statement seems), and looking back at what few photos were taken I looked like I felt; a veritable God of Clubs.
I want that back, and by jove I think I can taste it now.
My problem arises from having now a permanent base of friends (let me finish here) and before I never had to worry about consequences. I lived the life of a modern libertine to a certain degree but now I can never totally let go because I'm always worried that I might say or do something that offends. Before I always used the line "if they're my friends then they'll still understand me and remain my friends, if not then it was never meant to be". I miss those times, as it seems that when I get shitfaced I spend all my mental efforts in not misbehaving or even to appear that I'm misbehaving. I now spend time making sure I don't even look like I might be talking to females in a certain way in case the rumour mill starts churning, even though I have nothing to hide.
When I "came out" about being a game-geek I felt liberated but I think I might have also forgotten the cool version of me that shouted proud about living a life! Time those two combined, methinks.
So the dreads are going to be symbolic of me attaining perfect synergy in life; once I get a job and prove myself indespensible, this will be where I finally sort it out.
Being unemployed has actually been a blessing I think... I haven't had time to think clearly in 5 years. I may have been sailing in the middle of the ocean with no sails and wind, but at least now I can see the land in the distance and know in which direction to row towards.
One of my big regrets was not getting enough pictures of me and my friends when I was younger and "Party Pete". Dreads/braids always made me feel like... me (strange as that statement seems), and looking back at what few photos were taken I looked like I felt; a veritable God of Clubs.
I want that back, and by jove I think I can taste it now.
My problem arises from having now a permanent base of friends (let me finish here) and before I never had to worry about consequences. I lived the life of a modern libertine to a certain degree but now I can never totally let go because I'm always worried that I might say or do something that offends. Before I always used the line "if they're my friends then they'll still understand me and remain my friends, if not then it was never meant to be". I miss those times, as it seems that when I get shitfaced I spend all my mental efforts in not misbehaving or even to appear that I'm misbehaving. I now spend time making sure I don't even look like I might be talking to females in a certain way in case the rumour mill starts churning, even though I have nothing to hide.
When I "came out" about being a game-geek I felt liberated but I think I might have also forgotten the cool version of me that shouted proud about living a life! Time those two combined, methinks.
So the dreads are going to be symbolic of me attaining perfect synergy in life; once I get a job and prove myself indespensible, this will be where I finally sort it out.
Being unemployed has actually been a blessing I think... I haven't had time to think clearly in 5 years. I may have been sailing in the middle of the ocean with no sails and wind, but at least now I can see the land in the distance and know in which direction to row towards.