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Well I got a call from Billy today and asked me when I was planning on coming to Europe to meet with the guys. I in some ways am ready to go. I miss the guys. But in a way Im not ready to go. I have gotten so used to seeing Jessie everyday and with her not there, it is going to be different. But this is something we both new was going to happen
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Please, dont cry. You are far too beautiful to ever have anything but a smile on your face. These last few weeks have been perfect. I have gotten used to seeing you everyday and being able to spend time with you. I have gotten to know you, and I like the person I see. You are such a strong woman. One who I am thankful to have spent time with. I dont know exactly how to express in words how I feel right now. I am feeling so many different things right now Jess. Things I wish I could have told you before now. Nothing bad, just little things. Like how you look at me, when you think I cant see you. How when you catch me looking at you, you get this adorable smile on your face. Anytime I am sad all I have to do is look at you, and suddenly I feel better. I dont know how you do it. I really dont. I have never met anyone like you in all my life Jessica. I dont want you to forget about me while Im gone. Because you can believe that You will always be on my mind. From the moment I get up to the moment i close my eyes at night. if you want, i can call you from time to time. Just so I can hear your voice on the other end. Dont worry, everything will be ok. Ok? So put a smile on that gorgeous face for me....
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You just made me go all sappy Lifetime.
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I will try my best to smile....
Everytime I feel sad..I'll think about how you want me to smile...I'll think about YOUR smile & that should be enough to bring one to my face...
I wish you would have told me, everything you were thinking and feeling...you still can...we've got time...I would Love if you called me everyday..if you get the chance....There's still so much I wanna know about you...Even if you wanted me to forget about you..it wouldn't happen....I was afraid that you would forget about me to be honest
I truly didn't think I had the ability to care about someone the way I care for you ever again, but here you came proving me very very wrong..
At least I still have those retarded photo booth pictures we took at the mall on my fridge *laughs a little at the thought of them* By the way....I stuck something in your bag...I hope you find it
I'm going to miss you sooo sooo sooo much Baldy, but the sound of your voice & the thought that you'll be back will keep me going....& I'll be counting down the days...
Love,
Jessie
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There is no possible way I could ever forget about you. No way. You are too important to me. Yeah. You are. Extremely. I dont think I have ever gotten this close to someone this quickly and still yet it feels as if i have known you my entire life. I dont know how to put it into words all the time. Your amazing. In every single possible way. You make me feel like I am something special and until you no one has ever been able to do that. I thank you for that. I dont know where we are right now, and that scares me Jess. I have strong feelings for you. Stronger than I ever thought possible. I didnt know this could feel this way. I dont know what to do. I wanted to tell you this face to face, but I guess in my own way I am shy, and I have always been scared of rejection. I know when I am with you I like who I am. I like the way I feel when I am with you. You make me feel like me. Thank you for this. I dont really know what I am saying. I guess in alot of ways I am rambling. What do you think?
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I don't think you are rambling at all, and until you I didn't know I was capeable of making anyone feel that way. You are something special though....something incredibly special, so that fact that I make you feel like that, warms my heart in ways I couldn't explain. I have strong feelings for you too...Nobody has ever treated me in the manner you have, you have made me feel like a worthwhile woman and reminded me that I am STILL capeable of feeling & being happy....so in such same ways I'm with you in the words cannot express department, because there is a lot of things I'd like to say to you that I just, well...don't know how. I don't know where we are right now either, but please have no fear of rejection with me, I'll wait for you without a second thought if you want me too.....Thank you, for existing <3
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And also not sure anymore how I ever lived my life without you in it <3
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