so ill hold my breath.. i hope to see you soon.

[chriswasbroken]

I WAS THIS CLOSE.

i hate the fact that i NEVER want to feel another emotion in the entire world. i dont want to have compassion, i dont want to worry, i dont want to have to be there, i dont want to talk when you're upset, and i dont want to care.
i want to be alone. alone

i dont want to need anything or anybody in my life to make me feel complete, because, to me, thats a bitch ass cop-out and lousy excuse to say that you're not strong enough. forget that, i dont need arms around my waist or a hand resting in mine to make me feel alive. i dont want to feel these needs.

but you, you make me feel alive, and you rush through my heart like a sweeping storm.. God i wish that i could resist this. but as much as i hate it, as weak as it makes me, everything you need to know is right here:

i wont let go until you make me

"so lets kick this off, and get out to sea.
all i need is the sweeping winds and cold white tide
wiping away the fear of never knowing whats held by time.
but god knows as well as you, ive got these metal like wrist binds
buried deep into the coast, and when im too far away, the tug will
find me, and they'll rip me back to shore."
- a journal entry