Shape Wear is Hard
I've realized that I needed to breakdown and buy some sort of firming shape wear. I avoid knit skirts because they tend to show every jiggle and if it’s any other color than black every bump too. I’ve wandered through the shape wear isle before. I may as well have been on a different planet.
I’m no stranger to shape defining garments. The realm of historical corsets of multiple eras is no big deal to me with costuming. But, you give me an item with elastic and I’m all of a sudden at a loss, vintage or otherwise.
After pacing the isles I settled on a high waist short type thing. The short for the offending rear area without VPL and the high waist so it doesn't cut me in half and smooth out the middle for other outfits later.
So there I am in the dressing room with about a dozen little pieces of fabric that when held up look like they may fit a 4 year old. These are going to stretch to fit?!?
3/4 I can’t get up over my knees despite the little tag claiming XL. A couple others have handy rubber grippy strips to aid in the anti-shifting but all they did was cause my thighs to look like a rubber band on a marshmallow.
I even tried the touted spanx and they do seem clever….. but…. with their super iron man no give panels combined with free to roam panels the effect was… interesting. To start it was a wrestling match to get one on AND all the flesh and bits to match the contoured panels. However, it made me look like I was wearing an ass bra. My legs and midsection were elasticized within an inch of their life while my buns were allowed to roam free in these air thin no constraint circular panels. I dare say it made my ass larger! Kim Kardashian you have competition! I suppose it did all that I wanted but it certainly didn’t feelright.
(Edit: After further discussion about the "awesomeness that is Spanx" I have a few things to add about MY one experience with the item in question. The hard core panels pushed flesh up (nice i suppose) and then the flimsy circles at my cheeks caused everything to jut out. It was very strange. It really did look like I was wearing a butt bra. It felt... ass-less. But, the circles were either the wrong size/shape or maybe I had flesh pushed in the wrong place. The only equivalent I can think of is trying to wear a B cup when you are DD. It not only didn't look or feel right it was noticeable under a test skirt I drug into the dressing room. )
The winner was a mild stretch shaper that I can’t even remember the name of at the moment. (EDIT: I think this is it.) No fancy pants panels. No ninja like super sticky grippers. Just an overall tightness that will dampen the jiggle storm that is my rear and provide a smooth roundness.
The high waist doesn’t seem to do much but my corset days may be making me jaded there. But, it doesn’t cut me in half since the top ends at my ribs. No panty hose muffin top!
And, today's outfit just because every post needs a picture.
I’m no stranger to shape defining garments. The realm of historical corsets of multiple eras is no big deal to me with costuming. But, you give me an item with elastic and I’m all of a sudden at a loss, vintage or otherwise.
After pacing the isles I settled on a high waist short type thing. The short for the offending rear area without VPL and the high waist so it doesn't cut me in half and smooth out the middle for other outfits later.
So there I am in the dressing room with about a dozen little pieces of fabric that when held up look like they may fit a 4 year old. These are going to stretch to fit?!?
3/4 I can’t get up over my knees despite the little tag claiming XL. A couple others have handy rubber grippy strips to aid in the anti-shifting but all they did was cause my thighs to look like a rubber band on a marshmallow.
I even tried the touted spanx and they do seem clever….. but…. with their super iron man no give panels combined with free to roam panels the effect was… interesting. To start it was a wrestling match to get one on AND all the flesh and bits to match the contoured panels. However, it made me look like I was wearing an ass bra. My legs and midsection were elasticized within an inch of their life while my buns were allowed to roam free in these air thin no constraint circular panels. I dare say it made my ass larger! Kim Kardashian you have competition! I suppose it did all that I wanted but it certainly didn’t feelright.
(Edit: After further discussion about the "awesomeness that is Spanx" I have a few things to add about MY one experience with the item in question. The hard core panels pushed flesh up (nice i suppose) and then the flimsy circles at my cheeks caused everything to jut out. It was very strange. It really did look like I was wearing a butt bra. It felt... ass-less. But, the circles were either the wrong size/shape or maybe I had flesh pushed in the wrong place. The only equivalent I can think of is trying to wear a B cup when you are DD. It not only didn't look or feel right it was noticeable under a test skirt I drug into the dressing room. )
The winner was a mild stretch shaper that I can’t even remember the name of at the moment. (EDIT: I think this is it.) No fancy pants panels. No ninja like super sticky grippers. Just an overall tightness that will dampen the jiggle storm that is my rear and provide a smooth roundness.
The high waist doesn’t seem to do much but my corset days may be making me jaded there. But, it doesn’t cut me in half since the top ends at my ribs. No panty hose muffin top!
And, today's outfit just because every post needs a picture.