(no subject)
I know no one actually pays attention to livejournal anymore (myself included), but I still like it as a format for babbling my feelings. So here we go:
My dad doesn't live with us for work reasons, which makes me feel weird and sad in a distant sort of way I try not to think about. But when he does get to come home, weird little things sometimes happen, that show we're still family after all.
We both love those Ritz cheese cracker sandwiches, and neither of us realized the shared love, or acknowledged or spoke of it to each other. But my mom noticed, and told us.That just feels silly and delightful and important.
Everything we know about each other come through the filter of my mom. I may not know how to talk to him anymore, he may not know that I'm on Xanax to get me through the anxiety grad school causes me, but I know that he's so proud of my brother and me for getting as far as we've gotten. He's a big part of the reason I won't allow myself to give up (along with the fact that I'll hate myself forever for wasting 2 miserable years of my life and thousands of dollars), so that's important. I'll make do with what I can get.
My dad doesn't live with us for work reasons, which makes me feel weird and sad in a distant sort of way I try not to think about. But when he does get to come home, weird little things sometimes happen, that show we're still family after all.
We both love those Ritz cheese cracker sandwiches, and neither of us realized the shared love, or acknowledged or spoke of it to each other. But my mom noticed, and told us.That just feels silly and delightful and important.
Everything we know about each other come through the filter of my mom. I may not know how to talk to him anymore, he may not know that I'm on Xanax to get me through the anxiety grad school causes me, but I know that he's so proud of my brother and me for getting as far as we've gotten. He's a big part of the reason I won't allow myself to give up (along with the fact that I'll hate myself forever for wasting 2 miserable years of my life and thousands of dollars), so that's important. I'll make do with what I can get.