What's the point
Honestly I don't get it. What's the point of having a positive attitude. It doesn't change your life for the better or instantly make friends or loved ones appear. It just seems to be a test of how well one can pretend. Therapists always say to stay in touch with reality, well pretending is just the opposite. When all is said and done you are still you and your life is just as miserable as it was before.
I have been walking around my whole life feeling like a part of me was missing. The feeling is just getting worse and worse, and now that I am in my thirties I can't help but think that I might just be this way forever. I just wish I had someone to share things with, someone who cared how my day went. Someone who was interested in how I feel and what I think. I want to be comfortable around and with someone in total silence. Just to be side by side and not have to say a single word. I really don't think that is too much to ask. I don't want to be alone forever. I do realize that this is partly my fault. How can I possibly expect to meet someone when I hardly ever leave the house. When one is depressed most of the time just getting dressed is a chore much less actually leaving the comfort of my home. Even if I did leave, where the hell would I go. As it stands now I only leave to go to the store and the doctors, just the necessities. These so called antidepressants do next to nothing. The only decent thing I can say about them is I'm still here but I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. God I beg of you if there is no such thing as heaven please start on the blueprints.
I have been walking around my whole life feeling like a part of me was missing. The feeling is just getting worse and worse, and now that I am in my thirties I can't help but think that I might just be this way forever. I just wish I had someone to share things with, someone who cared how my day went. Someone who was interested in how I feel and what I think. I want to be comfortable around and with someone in total silence. Just to be side by side and not have to say a single word. I really don't think that is too much to ask. I don't want to be alone forever. I do realize that this is partly my fault. How can I possibly expect to meet someone when I hardly ever leave the house. When one is depressed most of the time just getting dressed is a chore much less actually leaving the comfort of my home. Even if I did leave, where the hell would I go. As it stands now I only leave to go to the store and the doctors, just the necessities. These so called antidepressants do next to nothing. The only decent thing I can say about them is I'm still here but I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. God I beg of you if there is no such thing as heaven please start on the blueprints.