(no subject)

[christyfire]

Today is better than yesterday. Alex seems to have decided to leave me alone for the time being. I saw my therapist today and we had a good talk and by the end of the session I kinda felt better. One of my main problems is that I am so hard on myself when it comes to school. Nothing I do is good enough for me. I have an A in Statistics as of right now and the class is over this week but all I could pull on the last exam was a 78 and it crushed me. I completely flipped out and was in tears. It didnt affect my A to much brought me from a 96% down to a 92%but I just couldn't believe I got a C. I finally realized that this the first class I have taken since I was diagnosed and that I have never taken a class on medications before and that I shouldn't expect things to be as they were before. Nothing else is as it was before so why should I expect school to be that way. Why oh why could I not have figured this out sooner. It certainly would have saved me some grief. Due to my episode yesterday there was no way I could go to school today. I emailed my teacher and he is giving me extra time to finish off my class which is great. Hopefully I will be able to finish by next week.
Other than school the other thing that is bothering me is this void I have been carrying around with me. No matter what I do I cant seem to shake it and it is driving me crazy. I could be in a room full of people and feel lonely as hell. I really hope this supsides soon. I also found out today that besides having schizoaffective disorder my minor disorder is Borderline Personality Disorder. Nice of them to inform me. Looking up the the DSM IV criteria I meet 6 of the criteria go figure. Just one me thing to add to the basket. Enough for now. Until later